Reluctance

It is Sunday morning and soon I will be driving to church.  Today I am not participating in the service - I think.  Instead I will be contacting people in the moment on facebook chat as they watch the livestream.

The Pray as you go app started with these words in music

Bless the Lord, My soul

Who leads me into life.

The narrator then talked about letting go.  We have to let g in order to be led by God.  They said - Let go of your "concerns, fears, worries, reluctance."  And the word RELUCTANCE spoke to me.  I like the idea of trying new things and change, it's just sometimes I don't like the reality of it.  And I am reluctant to do something new this morning.  I need to LET GO.  Don't we all?  Isn't that why the song "Let it go" from Frozen was so popular?  It is just a universal truth - we would all be so much happier if we could let go of certain things.

My journey with grief over these past two years, has been a series of "letting go"s . Besides letting go of a lot of the stuff of Chuck, I have had to let go of my identity as part of a couple, my dependence on his cooking and his fixing ways,  and find a way to life alone that is  peaceful and okay.  There has been so much I have let go of, and I know that I am better for it.  And different in many ways. But it has not been easy.

So, I start this day asking God to help me to let go of my reluctance.  "The Kingdom of God has come near"  said Jesus in the text today.  I hope that my words - even in text form - can convey God's love and care in some way.  Can I let go of my reluctance to try something new.?

Here is a blessing by Maxine Shonk

May the God of LETTING GO bless you.

M<ay you be blessed with a discerning heart to know when to loosen your grasp on your life

and when to entrust it with gentle hands.

May you learn to say "goodbye" freely with hope in your grieving.

In this farewell process may you find your "hello" to the new life and promise God holds out to you.

May the God of LETTING GO be with you.