First sunday of Advent - HOPE

I write this at 8:30 Sunday morning and soon I will be in the car driving to church.  We will live stream at 10 AM and have a short "in person" service at 11:15.  We celebrate Advent and today is about HOPE - waiting for the light.

As I showered this morning I thought about what I would say as a communion meditation.  It is clear to me that our hope is based on our memory.  The Psalmists often write about God's deliverance of the children of Israel from Egypt.  As we struggle in the present, we remember God's protection in the past and trust that it is here today.  In the same way, when we come to the Lord's Table we remember that "on the night that he was betrayed" Jesus shared himself with the disciples with the bread and the cup and in essence said - "I am with you" - as you remember me in these symbols.  That's probably what I am going to say.

As I remember back two years ago, as Chuck was declining and eventually dying I had a very clear sense that God was with me.  I remember sitting on the couch and looking at the Christmas tree and just knowing.  Just knowing that God was with me.  Emmanuel - God is WITH us.

So we begin Advent 2020 - in the dark days of a pandemic that continues to surge.  Our political scene continues to be chaotic and my grief is still present.  And so is God.  That is my faith, my trust, my hope.

Here are some readings on HOPE

 

 

Because when all is said and done,
the last word is Immanuel — God With Us.
— Isaiah 8:10, The Message

 

Hope and Fear cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Invite one to stay. Invite one to stay.
— Maya Angelou from Sacred Threshold by Paula D’Arcy

 

Hope, like every virtue, is a choice that becomes a practice that becomes spiritual muscle memory. It’s a renewable resource for moving through life as it is, not as we wish it to be.
— Krista Tippett from Becoming Wise 

 

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it. My optimism, then, does not rest on the absence of evil, but on a glad belief in the preponderance of good and a willing effort always to cooperate with the good, that it may prevail. I try to increase the power God has given me to see the best in everything and every one, and make that Best a part of my life.

— Helen Keller from Optimism

The Holy Longing

 One of my "directees" told me that she was reading the book The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolheiser and I realized that I had that book in my library and had read it when I was in the Wellstreams program. 

So, I spent some time with it this morning in prayer and reflection.  And found myself moved by what I was reading.  He writes about the desire that is our dis-ease. 

"Whatever the expression, everyone is ultimately talking about the same thing - an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostlgia, a wildness that cannot be tamed, a congenital all-embracing ache that lies at the center of human experience and is the ultimate force that drives everything else.

....sometimes it hits us as pain - dissatisfaction, frustration and aching.  At other times its grip is not felt as painful at all, but as a deep energy, as something beautiful....Spirituality is ultimately about what we do with that desire.  What we do with our longings, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us, that is our spirituality.

I've included all of these quotes because I want to remember them and it expresses so well how I feel. I live between pain and hope as I imagine all people do - when we have the courage to feel our deepest feelings and get in touch with that deep desire.

He writes that a healthy spirit (soul) gives us energy and love AND keeps us glued together.  He describes it as fire and water.  There is energy and chaos and there is peace and order.  And we can lean into one side or the other at times.

What I know to be true is that my salvation is always going to be found in that mystery of prayer.  Somehow my awareness of God's love and presence helps to anchor me in the midst of the muddle that is me.  It is easy to tamp down the desire which can lead to depression in a heartbeat. But it is in times of prayer and reflection that I can recognize God's activity in my life and emerge with a greater sense of purpose and clarity about me, about life, about God.

In the course I have been taking on Teresa of Avila James Finley writes about how much we like to sit in a comfortable chair with a book on prayer and underline insightful passages.  God knows I do love to do that.  It is, however, when we shut the book and spend time with God that the mystery of presence emerges. 

Here is a blessing by Maxine Shonk

May the God of CONTEMPLATION bless you,calling you into the still point of Divine Presence.

Out of the silent center of your being may you bring serenity and peace to every circumstance and to each person.

May your contemplation bear fruit in the words that you speak and the work that you do.

May the God of CONTEMPLATION bless you.

The King who is a Shepherd

Today is Christ the King Sunday - the last week of "ordinary time" before we start a new year liturgically in the church for Advent.  

I listened to "pray as you go" this morning  and the reading was from Ezekial 34: 11,12, 15, 16

For thus says the Lord God: I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. ¹² As shepherds seek out their flocks when they are among their scattered sheep, so I will seek out my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places to which they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness.

. ¹⁵ I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will make them lie down, says the Lord God.  ¹⁶ I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, but the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them with justice.

  Another text for today is Matthew 25: 31-46 which is a parable where Jesus talks about a king and compares him to a shepherd.  

This past week I binge watched "The Crown" which is a story about modern day monarchy . Often you are struck by how distant and grand the lives of the royal family are as compared to the ordinary people.  We talk about worshiping God the "King" but this king is a shepherd who gets "down and dirty" seeking after the lost, strayed, wounded sheep.  When I listened to the text from Ezekiel, I was struck by the words - "I myself" - a God who is intimately involved in the care of the flock.

That has been my experience as I continue to grow in my own faith.  I am coming to the end of another Journal and find myself looking back on what I have written in the past few months.  It all speaks to a relationship with God in which I am being - slowly, slowly, slowly - changed. Changed as in - strengthened, healed, guided, loved.  

One of the phrases I wrote in my journal that I don't want to forget is this

Prayer is being quietly present to love that loves me.

Just that understanding brings hope and healing.  I use the word - Lord - in prayer because I submit myself to one who is greater than I am.  I experience his love as a shepherd that continues to seek me, call me, protect me.  And that gives me peace today.

Here is a poem by Edwina Gately that speaks to me today

Silent God

This is my prayer—
That, though I may not see,
I be aware
Of the Silent God
Who stands by me.
That, though I may not feel,
I be aware
Of the Mighty Love
Which doggedly follows me.
That, though I may not respond,
I be aware
That God—my Silent, Mighty God,
Waits each day.
Quietly, hopefully, persistently.
Waits each day and through each night
For me.
For me—alone.

.

A prayer for today

I am sitting at church and in ten minutes we will be doing our zoom Bible study of Matthew 25: 31-46.  It is the judgment scene of the Son of Man who comes in glory and the picture of a King who separates people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.

We will talk about the acts of the disciples - that is what we do to feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, welcome the stranger.  This will definitely relate to the sermon that I just preached on Sunday about the talents and how God wants us to use whatever we have been given to bring the kingdonm of God - the kingdom of Love - on earth.

In the course of my reading commentaries and perusing studies on the internet, I found this poem.  It really speaks to me and I share it now here.

A Fransican blessing from the 20th Century:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

Amen

Pray as you go

Pray as you go is an app that I listen to a couple of days a week and it is also the way I seem to be living my life.

In the last four days I have preached a funeral and two sermons. I have played pickleball and games with my family.  Yesterday Marnie's house lost electricity  and so I have welcomed her and her three daughters into my home in the interim.  Right now Addie is "at school" in one bedroom, Marnie is "at work" in another bedroom and Maggie is watching TV before she "goes to school."

And I pray as I go

Today's app contains these words

Let me live as a child of light.  I ask the Lord to open my eyes to what he wants me to see.  Shine a light into my life.

The story into which we enter into imaginatively is about the blind man who hear Jesus passing by:  Jesus, son of the living God, have mercy on me."

I sit and so resonate with this.  Because his desire is to see.  

Last week, Pastor John was out of town and I went to play pickleball at church.  The church has bought a pickleball net and it was not where we had left it -by the back door.  I searched everywhere and could not find it.  Fortunately some of us have our own nets and we were able to play - but I was concerned that there was a pickleball net thief in Canal Winchester!  

When John came back in town he told me that he had put it under the couch in my office - sticking out a little so I would see it.  I did not.  And I told him - don't you know that half the time I am unconscious?

And I know that to be true.  What I don't know is what I miss seeing - I only know what I am able to glimpse.  As I reflect on the past weekend I certainly see glimpses of the holy - in the words that God gives me in the preaching I do, in the beauty of a chilly morning in the park playing pickleball with a daughter, in the blessing of interactions with some of the older saints of the church, in the family life I get to partake in again for a day or so watching mother and daughters negotiate life together.  

As a new week begins -  my prayer is to see - to see what God wants me to see, to see the beauty as well as the pain.  To have the faith to then go and do what is mine to do. 

I am praying in the morning and I am praying as I go.  Even in the midst of increasing cases of covid and a peculiar time in our nation of transition/no transition God is here.  Loving, healing, calling.

Open our eyes!

Locutions

James Finley in the course I am taking on Teresa of Avila spoke about the locutions of God.  It is the word that we see, we hear, the feeling that comes over us.  As he spoke about it, I realize how important locutions are for me - in guiding and strengthening me.

One of the most important "words" spoken are The Word - that is scripture.  On Thursdays at 3 oclock I lead a zoom group which I have now called the "Spiritual Growth Group."  We originally were a book study but when that was finished we now just speak about our own journeys with God , share the locutions we have received, and engage in lectio divina.  Which is one of the most important ways in which we can hear God's word.

Yesterday we spent time with Psalm 70 which is called a prayer for deliverance from enemies.

¹ Be pleased, O God, to deliver me.
    O Lord, make haste to help me!

² Let those be put to shame and confusion
    who seek my life.
Let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
    who desire to hurt me.

³ Let those who say, “Aha, Aha!”
    turn back because of their shame.

⁴ Let all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you.
Let those who love your salvation
    say evermore, “God is great!”

⁵ But I am poor and needy;
    hasten to me, O God!

You are my help and my deliverer;
    O Lord, do not delay!

 

We read it through five times and concentrated on different parts of the Psalm.  I never know exactly what I am doing in leading this but keep learning to trust God throughout our time together.  

And I found myself pondering the word "deliver."  There are some things we cannot do alone.  we cannot deliver a baby by ourselves.  We cannot save ourselves from ourselves.  My enemy can be my own tendencies , my own ego, my own  self centeredness, my own self righteousness.  And the hope I have is found in God alone.  To DELIVER.  

Someone talked about how we have parts of ourselves that is the enemy - the parts that shame and dishonor us.

And then there is the word that reminds us that we are part of an "ALL" that is seeking God and finding God's compassion and greatness.  

I keep learning that God loves each of us as we are - YES!  And that that is the necessary beginning of the journey of faith.  The journey continues as we open ourselves to God's locutions which will over time begin that work of transforming us.  We are on a journey - like a caterpillar to a butterfly with tattered wings.  

My hope for myself and for everyone is that we can listen, look, feel, know God is speaking words that can comfort, inspire, help and deliver us. 

A Poem for Today

I woke up this morning in dread.  In the middle of the night I turned on the television and learned that the election is too close to call.  My sense is that there will be a lot of conflict and uncertainty. between now and whoever is declared president.  

So, I spent a little time looking for a poem to settle my spirit.  I found this one by Mary Oliver.

“Angels,” Mary Oliver

You might see an angel anytime
and anywhere. Of course you have
to open your eyes to a kind of 
second level, but it’s not really
hard. The whole business of 
what’s reality and what isn’t has
never been solved and probably
never will be. So I don’t care to
be too definite about anything. 
I have a lot of edges called Perhaps
and almost nothing you can call
Certainty. For myself, but not 
for other people. That’s a place
you just can’t get into, not 
entirely anyway, other people’s 
heads. 

I’ll just leave you with this. 
I don’t care how many angels can 
dance on the head of a pin. It’s
enough to know that for some people
they exist, and that they dance. 

Don't believe everything you think

In 1994 Chuck and I were – like many people at the time – transfixed by a slow motion police chase in Los Angeles.  Our regularly scheduled TV viewing was interrupted as we watched a white bronco being followed by police cars and helicopters along Santa Monica Freeway.  Eventually, they ended up in Rockingham – the home of OJ Simpson  - where he was arrested for the murder of his wife Nicole and Ron Goldman.

I followed the subsequent trial avidly and when it was time for the verdict, Chuck and I sat in great anticipation like much of America .  After months of this highly publicized trial, the jury quickly came to a decision and Judge Ito declared him not guilty.  We were  - like everyone we knew - shocked because it seemed that the DNA proof was incontrovertible. What was most memorable for me, however,  was watching the reactions on TV from all over the country.  I was particularly struck by the students at Howard University who all cheered when the verdict was announced.

That for me was a watershed event  dramatically identifying the  racial divide in our country. We have different lenses through which we see the world.  I have come to understand  that  people can see the same event and come to different conclusions and different “truths. “

 This is hardly a new idea, I know.  Last week at Bible study we looked at Matthew 9: 32-34.  In this story Jesus cast out a demon in a mute demoniac.  The people were amazed and the Pharisees said his power was   through the devil. Two groups of people see the same event and come to different conclusions.

Now as we face the election tomorrow that lesson is more and more clear.  My beloved Inspector Gamache, from Louise Penny’s novels, writes this sentence on the blackboard as he trains each class of incoming police cadets:

DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK

Too often investigators get invested in one theory too soon and then interpret all evidence to fit that. In other words, our ideas about how things are may be skewed,  distorted, culturally influenced , highly  prejudiced and just plain wrong. 

So, I humbly cast a vote last week and believe that  I am being guided by an inner wisdom.  At the same time I understand that there are those who see the world through  a different lens and have had  experiences and influences that have not been part of my life.  They will make a different choice.

Always my prayer is to be an instrument of peace.  I cannot say it better than St. Francis.   

Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

I want my candidate to win and I also want there to be some sort of peace and reconciliation afterward.  I like the idea that we are the United States of America.  May it be so on Wednesday.