Pickleball - And the Keys to Happiness
Anyone who knows me knows that over that past two years I have become a pickleball fan or maybe a fanatic
- does having three paddles, a net, pickleball shoes, special pickleball clothes make you a fan or a fanatic?
- Does playing two, three, four times a week make you a fan or a fanatic?
- Does talking about it, teaching it and bringing it to lots of people make you a fan or a fanatic?
OK I am a fanatic
I have a lot of lines I use about pickleball - like “working out is work and playing pickleball is play.” And that I am a self described pickleball evangelist: “I have led more people to pickleball than I have to Jesus.” What I know for sure is that playing this game is my happy place - and it has everything I like - the release of hitting a ball, short games, angles to explore, exercise and sociability.
It also has provided - like racquetball did for me in the past - an opportunity for reflection on life. I find here five keys that lead to happiness both on the court and in my life.
Appreciate my body and learn to trust it. One of the hardest parts of getting older is watching my body get bigger, softer, more wrinkly and less muscular. I take longer to walk down stairs and just getting out of chairs than I did twenty years ago. But when I play pickleball, my body frequently pleases me like when I perform my fierce backhand slash or a powerful , strong, in the corner serve. There are times when my reactions are so fast that I can hardly believe it is me returning the ball.
I have learned that if I just keep playing - my body usually figures out what to do - where to move and how hard or soft to hit the ball, and how to angle to get it in bounds. One of the most satisfying parts of teaching people pickleball is watching them - almost effortlessly - get better as their bodies relax into the game and figure out what to do.
Sometimes I play with younger males who, of course, can play much harder and faster. But my comparison is always with myself and there is no one like me on the court - a 73 year old widow and retired minister. So I frequently inwardly celebrate the amazing resilience of this old body and mind that work together to score points and make plays that surprise even me.
Avoid negative self talk. There are plays that happen to everyone who plays this game - we hit it into the net, we hit the ball too hard and say “home run” as it goes well out of bounds, and we swing and we miss which can make us feel particularly foolish. A Whiff! I do it, everyone does it. The beauty of pickleball is that another opportunity is coming in thirty seconds and we don’t have to hold onto the blunders, but wait for the next point. Our imperfections and mistakes do not define us.
Compliment everyone’s great shots. It makes everybody feel better but most of all it makes you remember that with a really good shot -NOBODY could have gotten it. I feel myself relax everytime I celebrate someone else’s strategic overhead hit or down the side shot. And I also think - I am going to learn how to do this shot too, eventually.
Savor your own good shots. I watch some people when complimented say - it was luck. Maybe yes, but often no. Instead it was a great shot and we need to enjoy when we do something well. Thirty years ago I read an article in Esquire magazine about different kinds of people who played sports . There is the “hate to lose” player and the “love to win” competitor. I am a love to win person and I enjoy my good shots - and winning. That is why I am out there. But the reality is that I will not always win. The danger of being a “hate to lose” person is that you only enjoy the game when you are winning and usually that will be half the time. What I know is this - that even when you lose, even if you are “pickled” (losing 11-0) you can have some fun volleys and pretty awesome shots. Savor them! That is why we play.
Let it go - and that is when there is a disagreement about line calls and scoring. If the ball is on the line, it is in play (unless the line is the kitchen) and there can be a real difference in vantage point. I play with many who are - like me - senior citizens and they genuinely get confused about whose turn it is to serve and who scored the last point. Sometimes I can feel my body start to tighten at times so deep breathing and saying “let it go” does work. I either say - “It’s your call” or “let’s play it again..” It also helps to believe in “karma.” - the one who gets all worked up and maybe cheats? about the game is often the one who loses. Or they don’t have as much fun as I do.
All of which is to say that pickleball lessons directly relate to the rest of my life.
As I look at these five keys they represent what I keep learning on my faith journey. There is a path of choosing gratitude, grace, and trusting in the unknown future. And what it most interesting is that the happiness is not about winning and losing - but really how you play the game. How about that?
