Hope is a good thing

I drink my coffee this morning out of my mug that says HOPE.  And remember the poem by Emily Dickinson that begins with these lines:

"Hope is the thing with feathers

that perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

and never stops at all."

So today John and I go to the doctor to see about the results of his procedure last week.  We received some information last night that gives us hope and I feel myself lighter  - with a brighter mood and less heaviness inside of me.  

I have always been a woman of hope who trusts that ultimately all will be well.  The last few weeks have been challenging as we have been living in the waiting and the not knowing time.  But today something has shifted inside of me and I can feel it.

Last night John and I sat outside at 9:06 PM to watch the spectacular solstice sunset that was there for everyone to see.  And the blessing was that we DID see it and savored it.  The seasons pass, the days come and go and in the midst of all of it there is our God of beauty, creativity, love and mystery.

And it gives me hope.

Here is a blessing for today from Maxine Shonk's book Blessing Upon Blessing:

May the God of HOPE be with you,

inspiring, calling, inviting you to dream and believe in possibilities.

May you trust the dream that is forming in you 

and may your uplifted face and courageous spirit inspire others who have lost hope.

May the blessing of HOPE be with you.

Amen

Refreshment

One of the blessings of my life right now is that I am leading a Bible study at First Congregational Church.  The church had not had a Bible study for a couple of years since the pandemic and they reached out to the retired pastors in the congregation (there are many!) asking who might be interested in leading one and I volunteered with Larry Miller, a retired Presbyterian Minister.

It was decided that we would study the book of Acts and I am in the midst of preparing for Sunday.  The opening question from the study guide is: where do you find refreshment?  I think it is appropriate to consider during this time of waiting.

Refreshment for me comes so often from nature.  I am blessed to be living in a house in the woods by the water.  It is a gift to look at the window and see the trees in all of their splendor and wonder.  The water is different every single morning - sometimes like a mirror and other times full of ripples and patterns. Something happens to me soul when I just look - gaze - drink it all in.  It reminds me of the patterns of life and death, and the constant changes that are part of life.  It is beautiful and mysterious and comforting all at once.  

My hope and prayer is that I will also get to the beach this summer.  The ocean draws me with the constant waves, the ancient sand, the magnificent birds and the changing sky.  Just thinking about it calms my spirit.  God is there in the creation and I am part of the wonder of the universe. 

As I begin this day I have another act of refreshment - awareness of breath.  I pause and breathe in the love that God has for me and breathe out my anxiety and fear.  God is here and I am here to be with God.

May I remember that today.  May I be refreshed.

Disorientation

Many years ago in a class on the book of Psalms I learned about how Walter Brueggemann characterized the Psalms into three categories - Orientation, Disorientation and Reorientation.  And he said that often churches emphasize the Psalms of Orientation - "Everything is fine" and Reorientation - "Everything is  better."

The fact of the matter is that we also go through times of disorientation when it feels like the ground has shifted and we don't know what is going on.  As John has had health problems, that is exactly the way I have felt.  We have been living in limbo waiting to find out if there is cancer and how serious that might be.  Time of disorientation mean that you don't get to make plans for the future because you are not sure what the future is going to be.

I think about how often over the years I have booked a vacation house six months in advance or a cruise a year ahead.  These days we have vague plans, but always with a question mark that may be answered in the next doctor's appointment or surgical procedure.

John had that procedure two days ago and now there are more answers and fewer questions.  We know that the worst diagnosis did not happen and we are probably looking at surgery this summer.  There is a sense within me of things settling down and  becoming somewhat stable.  

Which of course, always brings me to the question and the answer of faith.  The purpose of the Psalms of disorientation is to speak to the reality of life - those times when we wonder where God is and in the questioning there is a conversation with one who is with us.  That is faith. 

It has been a season of struggle and endurance waiting.  At the same time knowing that I am not alone - that others walk this walk more than I have.  And that our Holy One is our constant companion in the times of shadow and darkness.  

Here is an example of a Psalm of Disorientation.  The questions are always there but so is the comfort and trust :"But I trust in your unfailing love."

Psalm 13

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.