But here I am.
I am sitting in my office at the church and getting ready for a Bible study this evening that I hope will be in the garden - but it may end up being inside the church because of rain. Either way, it is a blessing to me to get to spend time with the word of God and the people of God.
I just returned from a family vacation and learned that I really missed my church family. For the past year I have spent time with many people in Bible study three times a week and the connections that we have are very real and they go deep. It is a blessing to have people who share faith and doubt and confusion and pain and joy together. That is what we do in these small groups.
Yesterday the Bible study was based on Mark 6: 7-13 - which is the calling of the disciples. It is a passage that is extremely meaningful to me because I had it "preached" on the day I was ordained in June 1985. Here it is:
Then he went about among the villages teaching. 7 He called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits. 8 He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff; no bread, no bag, no money in their belts; 9 but to wear sandals and not to put on two tunics. 10 He said to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave the place. 11 If any place will not welcome you and they refuse to hear you, as you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them.” 12 So they went out and proclaimed that all should repent. 13 They cast out many demons, and anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.
What spoke to me then was that the disciples - who were often so clueless about who Jesus was - were given the authority to heal and exorcise demons and they had some success with it. It was a good beginning for a beginning minister - this word of assurance that with God we can do more than we can imagine. As I look back on the last 35 years I can attest to the truth that God gives us gifts that will at times awe us.
But now as I read it I notice in a new way the vulnerability of the disciples. They are sent out 2 by 2 - not alone - thank God. And they have only enough as they need and will have to live in dependence on others. No self sufficiency here but only God dependence. As I get older I see that God dependence is a promise I have always preached about - but often did not live. I think back today to when Chuck had surgery and then grew weaker and died and know that was a time of extreme "God dependence" for me. It is only when we get to that place when we recognize our powerlessness that we are able to appreciate God's provision and sustaining presence. God truly does get us through - and if you live long enough, you learn that.
So, I hope to get back to this blog on a more regular basis so that I can bear witness to the power of the one who gives me life. And as always, I recommend the gift of the Bible and the spending time with it in community where we learn over and over again
Jesus Loves Me
This I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to him belong
For we are weak and he is strong
YES Jesus loves me.
