Summer Reflection

 I begin this day in the prayer room listening to the "Pray as you go" app and pondering the summer that is ending.  It has been very good in so many ways.  I list in my journal much of it:

 - the Bible studies and the preaching on Matthew.  All of which have caused me to really deepen my faith in Jesus and face the the challenge of really being a disciple and picking up the cross of love.   And what does it mean in the midst of this political season.  My answer has become to focus FIRST on Jesus.  And then maybe I will not be consumed with judgment, anger, anxiety, etc.

- the time spent with Teresa of Avila - both through a podcast and through the book The Interior Castle.  I have spent more time in tears of recognition through this time and have just felt blessed by it all.  I feel gratefully humble.  I am still working my way through the book stopping and pondering throughout the wisdom she offers.  The encouragement for me is that there is always something MORE for God to give and God to reveal. Here is a quote from the book to chew on:

          God enters the center of the soul without any door, like Christ did when he came to the disciples and said, Pax Vobis (peace be with you) and when he left the tomb without rolling away the boulder.

        Oh, friends! There is so much that we will see as long as we do not desire to see more than our own limitations allow and we accept that we may not be ready to receive such a great Beloved and if we acknowledge that we are incapable of comprehending his wonders.

         May he forever be praised. Amen

- the redecoration of my home and the decision to stay here a few more years.  I am settled and comfortable and blessed beyond all deserving.  I have spent more time on my front and back porches than ever before.  And my TV viewing has really diminished.  Happy about that.

 - the gift of pickleball.  I write this with a sore arm and wonder how long I will be able to do it - but whatever - it has brought a lot of joy.  Last night Audrey and I played for an hour with John from church who is 71 and Karen in her 50's with Kay as our cheerleader.  It was just fun.  And to have opportunities that are "just fun" is so wonderful.  (plus I am more tan than ever before - and lost some weight)

- the time of racial reckoning in this country.  I did preach in the midst of it and found it to be more challenging than any sermon I have done because of my awareness of people's varied responses - to inequality, white privilege, protestors and rioters.  The awareness is that God is doing something here and there is more to learn.  My book group is reading a book on discussing racism and we are watching movies too.  What speaks to me the most is the awareness of how easy it is for white people to think we understand and to dismiss and diminish the problem.

-the gift of the beach.  I cannot overstate the blessing of being at the ocean and allowing the waves, the sky, the sand, the sun to just heal me.  I listened to some of the On Being podcast with a poet who said something to the effect that nature speaks without words.  And that really is it.  I had truly been longing to just BE at the beach and every morning I sat at the balcony and watched the waves and birds and people walking and just wrote and read and prayed.  And then joined them in my own solitary walks.  I had LONGED to have a time like this and I got it.  What a wonder full  way to end the summer.

- most of all this has been a summer of "I don't know."  I guess I am getting more and more comfortable with it.  I don't know how long this pandemic will last, I don't know whether the kids should go back to school,  I don't know what is happening politically and whether as a country we can ever reconcile,,  I don't know what is happening with the church without meeting in person.  I don't know.  I don't know.

The scripture given today was1 Corinthians 2: 1-5

When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom.  For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.  And I came to you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.  My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that you faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.

I have to say as I look back on this summer I see and have experienced the power of God  as I live into the mystery. .  I am grateful and humbled. 

I am going to end this with a prayer I wrote this morning.

So God, loving Father, guiding Spirit

I come today seeking guidance in how I live into  the minutes and hours of my life today.

In how I engage people.  May I have love and compassion, curiosity and reverence

In how I live with myself . May I be open to your spirit and aware of your presence.   Give me your peace within my soul and an abiding love for you, for life, for others, for self.

You have power, I give myself today.  Amen

Tools in the Toolbox

I have been blessed by my work at Gender Road Christian Church - especially since the pandemic began.  There are several ways in which we connect during the week - 2 zoom Bible studies on Tuesday, an in person Bible study on Wednesday, a zoom "spiritual life group" on Thursday and every other week I host a "sharing circle" in the shelter house social distancing.  And then there is pickleball - introducing this sport to people on Sunday and Wednesday nights.  A different and equally important kind of connecting with people.  

What I keep learning is that there are so many different "tools in the toolbox" that enable me to experience and express God's presence and God's love. In addition to that, I have my own spiritual practices that inform and strengthen my faith.  They include listening to a podcast(turning to the mystics), an app on my phone (pray as you go), a book (The Interior Castle) , a journal, time in nature and of course, silence and prayer.  All of this is a rich stew for me.

I write this on a Friday morning in awe as I look back on the last week and what has particularly spoken to me.  On Monday I listened to the podcast and took notes.  One statement that I continue to ponder is this:  Perfection is humility, gratitude and surrender.  That completely related to the next days Bible study which ended with Jesus talking about "Taking up your cross."  The cross is - I believe - the cross of Love.  The kind of love that makes us open to God's love and expressing it unconditionally to all.  It is a suffering love and a challenging call within our lives.

Yesterday afternoon during the "spiritual life group" we engaged in a lectio divina of Psalm 130.  It is a time of reading and hearing the Psalm over and over again.  As we listen and reflect and ask different questions of it, more and more becomes revealed to us.  Here is that Psalm

 

Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;

Lord, hear my voice,

Let your ears be attentive

to my cry for mercy.

If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,

Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is gorgiveness,

so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

I wait for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

for with the Lord is steadfast love

and with him is full redemption

He himself will redeem Israel

from all their sins.

These ancient words spoke to us yesterday.  We could reflect on those times of feeling distant from God, our need of forgiveness, the waiting that we all are doing and finally and most importantly our hope in God's steadfast and redeeming love.  It is hard to describe how a practice like lectio divina can allow God's word to truly enter into our souls and the gift of experiencing this in community.  I only know that God provides so many ways in which we can strengthen our faith and find hope in our daily living.

Today I go to church for a "sharing circle."  This is a time when we sit in a circle as Christians who all are experiencing this strange time of pandemic and share a piece of our lives with each other.  It is really a hard time for so many people - because of the isolation and the anxiety.  There is so much goodness in our being able to really be community with each other - listening and caring about each person.  I look forward to that this afternoon.

We cannot fix much of what is happening in our world - the pandemic, the racial unrest, the political divisions.  But we can turn to God and somehow through our spiritual practices find strength, patience, hope and ultimately peace in the midst of turbulent times.  I am grateful for the "steadfast love" of God and I trust it.

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Inform, Reform, transform

 So I sit in the back porch listening to the pray as you go app.  The text is the one from Matthew where we are instructed to go to the person who has sinned against us and tell them.  And if that does not change things, bring an elder with us.  And if that does not - then essentially they become "like a gentile."

Also in this text - where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name - there I am.

I reflect about how when people sin against me I often swallow the pain and duck the confrontation.  And how often I like to avoid their telling me about my sin against them.

And I remember  times in which I HAVE been confronted and what a blessing - in the long run - it was to me.  I have been changed by the encounter.  I know I am more thoughtful and deliberate than I was 30 years ago.  I know I have a greater sense of boundaries between family and work.  However it is never easy to be informed about what you have done wrong.  But - as in the title of this entry - the information does lead to reformation that eventually leads to transformation.

It is hard to be in any relationship at all - knowing when to speak and when to be silent, when to confront and when to accept behaviors.  So - "when 2 or 3 are gathered IN MY NAME" makes even greater sense.  We cannot do it on our own - the way of Jesus tends to be gentler and more loving.  I hope that I am.

After pickleball this morning, I go to church and we have our first "staff meeting" of the reconfigured staff - Daniel from Nigeria is now a ministerial intern and so is Hannah a twenty something seminary student (I went to seminary with her Dad.) and then there is 71 year old me and our leader John - a 49 year old mover and a shaker.  So in a different way, I pray that we will know that we gather in "his " name and Jesus  is with us as we enter into a relationship together which will probably mean times of informing, reforming and transforming - each other as well as the church.  This is what it means to be a community - the body of Christ

May we be open to God's spirit. 

May the God who forms you.

May you engage this God in mutual attention to what is holy and fulfilling for the other, to what brings joy and delight and depth of understanding.

May your communion with this God move you to growth in your inner spirit and to warmth and compassion for a world that awaits connection with its Creator.

May the God of COMMUNITY bless you all your days.

Amen

 

(Maxine Shonk)

 

 

The Gift of a Mask

I am part of a monthly "Writer's Salon".  This is what I wrote for this month.

Who is that masked woman?

It is me – reluctantly but religiously

I received my first mask four months ago from Kim Veatch who had extras and dropped two off at my home  with gloves and sanitizer.   We were just beginning to understand the threat of  the corona virus and I was grateful to have a friend who quickly supplied my needs.   

Since then, I have received three more:

 The first was made by Erma, a member of Gender Road Christian Church.  She – like many seamstresses – went into almost manic mask making,  producing hundreds of masks within weeks to supply not just church members, but their friends and families and local nursing homes.  It was impressive.  Her  mask for me is light green with pink flowers and  pleated.

The next mask I received was from Marsha who allowed me to pick my own material – blue.  I tell myself that  It makes my  wrinkly eyes “pop.” Her design is a little different and does  not as heavy on my face. 

My final mask was from Audrey – it is black and came with a pocket and two filters and a breathing valve.  She said it proved that she is  now officially my favorite daughter.

I wear these at church when I go to the outdoor service, at restaurants and stores.  I know that it is important to keep my droplets to myself. While it gets in the way of showing my happy  face and having to rely on my crinkling smiling eyes, it was greatly appreciated  when I attended funerals.  I have been to two pandemic services in which we sat socially distanced and masked in the sanctuary.  There was no congregational singing but the solos and the spoken word of “In the bulb there is a flower” made me so emotional that I was grateful that my sobbing mouth could not be seen – only my watering eyes.

Masks have become a source of pride and judgment.  Now that everyone has to wear masks in stores, it is clear that some would rather not.  So, I have seen men – in particular – with masks worn under their chin and many people not quite covering their noses.  And unbeknownst to them, it reveals their ignorance and self centeredness.

What I most enjoy is the individuality that people can show in their choice of masks – wearing masks that say “black lives matter” or have rainbows or simply say “Masks.”   They might not like wearing them, but they are making the best of a very bad situation.

And so, the real gift of the masks is that it is an opportunity to show love – by giving masks and wearing masks.  I wear my masks very reluctantly, not wanting to admit the reality of the danger of the virus.  And I wear it religiously – as a discipline that ultimately saves humanity and binds us together.