I started this day at 5 AM worrying and wondering. In that order. Worrying about Chuck and his physical and mental healing. and wondering when it was going to get better. And how will I manage if it does not?
And then I looked at the daily lectionary and was confronted with the words of 2 Peter.
8But do not ignore this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord
one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day.
9The Lord is not slow
about his promise, as some think of slowness, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to
repentance.
10But the
day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away
with a loud noise, and the elements will be dissolved with fire, and the earth
and everything that is done on it will be disclosed.
11Since all these things are to be dissolved in this way, what
sort of persons ought you to be in leading lives of holiness and godliness, 12waiting
for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens
will be set ablaze and dissolved, and the elements will melt with fire?
13But, in
accordance with his promise, we wait
for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home.
14Therefore, beloved, while you are waiting for these things, strive to be found by him at peace,
without spot or blemish; 15and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation.
You can see the words that jumped out at me - slow, patient, waiting, patience. Now, waiting for the day of the Lord is not quite the same as waiting for your husband to heal from surgery. But waiting is waiting and I guess the question is always what to do while you are waiting.
One of the issues with Chuck's recovery is that he is moving and doing everything slower than ever. I put a meal in front of him and it takes forever for him to eat it. It is not - as it used to be - because he is talking all the time or distracted doing other things during the meal. It is just that every bite is taken in slowly, chewed slowly and swallowed slowly. Sometimes he stops altogether and I have to remind him to keep eating. I am learning to find other things to do at the table as he eats - like reading and doing puzzles. Then I can be present and patience and wait with him.
What I know is that this journey of caretaking is universal and Chuck and I have been really blessed in that neither of us have had significant health issues up to now. I did not live in close proximity to my parents during their last years and have not really had to contend with daily care giving like this. So I recognize it as a blessing and a burden and an inevitable part of the cycle of life and loving another person through their life.
You can see the words that jumped out at me - slow, patient, waiting, patience. Now, waiting for the day of the Lord is not quite the same as waiting for your husband to heal from surgery. But waiting is waiting and I guess the question is always what to do while you are waiting.
One of the issues with Chuck's recovery is that he is moving and doing everything slower than ever. I put a meal in front of him and it takes forever for him to eat it. It is not - as it used to be - because he is talking all the time or distracted doing other things during the meal. It is just that every bite is taken in slowly, chewed slowly and swallowed slowly. Sometimes he stops altogether and I have to remind him to keep eating. I am learning to find other things to do at the table as he eats - like reading and doing puzzles. Then I can be present and patience and wait with him.
What I know is that this journey of caretaking is universal and Chuck and I have been really blessed in that neither of us have had significant health issues up to now. I did not live in close proximity to my parents during their last years and have not really had to contend with daily care giving like this. So I recognize it as a blessing and a burden and an inevitable part of the cycle of life and loving another person through their life.
Writing this blog is for me a way to examine what is happening within me, within us as we face the challenge of aging and illness. I share this prayer by Maxine Shonk which speaks God keeping vigil with us in the "sacrament of waiting." That understanding can remind me that these days can be holy.
May the God of PATIENCE be with you,
standing with you when you are anxious and hurried,
bringing new depth to your life and renewed vision of God.
May you not be afraid of the questions that press in upon you.
May you live those questions with an open trust and
may God keep vigil with you as you enter the sarament of waiting.
May the blessing of PATIENCE. be with you.
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