Holy Week

It is Holy Week and I feel like I am really in it.  Yesterday at the Bible study we spent time exploring the 15th chapter of Mark and the crucifixion of Jesus.  It is a picture of pain and rejection and of course death. This year I am more aware of the humility/humiliation of Jesus and the invitation to follow which leads us to humility.

Today in the Pray as you go App, we looked at the betrayal of Judas.  Questions arose:

Why does Jesus let Judas do this to him?

What is it like to know one of your closest friends will betray you?

And the answer I came up with was that Jesus knew Judas and was aware of his greed or his desire to make something happen politically.  Or his general impatience.  He knew him.  And he knew that Peter and the other disciples would fold under pressure.  It did not surprise him.  He knew them and loved them.

This morning I sat and confronted the parts of me that are like Judas, Peter and the disciples.  My weakness, my greed, my compulsiveness.  The list can go on and on.  But the awareness leads to humility.  And it is in our humility that we are on a road to transformation

Knowing that we are loved in our sin and shame

Forgiving others their sins

Asking for help

And we keep going.  Keep trusting God in the midst of the dark times, the suffering, the shame.

I think of the song - Jesus Love Me and the line - "We are weak, but he is strong."  It really is in our understanding of our weakness that we find ourselves one our knees asking for mercy, grace and strength. 

And so my prayer on this Wednesday of Holy Week is this

God of love and mercy

Help Me

Help me to live with myself

Help me to be guided by you

Help me to desire what you desire.

Change my heart, O God

Today

Amen