These were the words that came to me this morning as I sat in my prayer room. Honor your grief.
Yesterday I did some organizing of files - putting old sermons and church files into some kind of order in my home. There is still too much that I cannot at this time throw away.
I realized afterwards the profound grief that my weekly preaching - in all it stress - is ver.
Maybe for now. Maybe later I will be involved in another church. I don't know.
What I do know is that preaching has been for me - a source of creativity and my call expressed.
Today I sit in the truth that is a loss to stop working. To end relationships. To stop doing those things that gave me life. I also know that there is the "both and" to it all. This past month has been a time of resting and realizing that level of stress that I was carrying. At the same time, there is grief - undeniable grief. And to quote someone that I have frequently quoted in sermons - "Grief is the price you pay for love." And I have surely loved the life of a pastor.
I have been watching Pema Chodren on youtube this week and she talked about dealing with unwanted feelings. The standard response is to push them away and run away. Instead, she teaches about exploring and opening our hearts to it.
And surely culturally we are encouraged to "get past" our grief and move on. I am grateful for the time to just wait and explore what God is doing with me. As I experience the gift of grief and the awareness that God is in the midst of all of this bringing healing and growth.
So, this morning I honor the grief and get ready for a new day of life. I have people to love and a call on my life to live out in new circumstances and a life to enjoy - in all its different aspects.
Blessing by Maxine Shonk
May you be blessed by the God of PEACE who stills the heart that quakes with fear or doubt or confusion.
May you discover your peace in the "Godseed" of your own being and in the flowering of your inner goodness.
May the warmth of your peace bring calm to those who tremble in fear and uncertainty.
May the blessing of PEACE be on you. Amen