Tuesday, February 3, 2015

It is enough

Most weekdays I go to Marne's house to be with Reagan and Addie during that time between getting off the bus and Mom and Erik coming home.  Last year it was a break during the busy days of daily ministry and now it may be the only "work" I do all day.

And, of course, it is not work at all.  Sometimes it is just sitting and reading by myself as the girls do their own thing, sometimes we play games and talk, sometimes I help with homework.  It is about my presence with them.  And in some ways, it really is a microcosm of the blessing of any relationship that is loving. Not about doing for - but being with.

I wrote this yesterday:

It is enough
to sit in my daughter's living room
and read a book in silence
while my granddaughter sits at the table
playing a game on her tablet.
We are together
in silence
and she is unwinding from a day of being a 5th grader.
I am in my place of joy as I look at her.,
sitting on her knees in a chair
wearing a pink sweatshirt,
talking to herself,
whistling and
suddenly she speaks to me
"I just got the lovely bunny"
This must be from the game, I think
I smile and nod
and know
it is enough.

Later I showed this to Addie and the silence was definitely broken. Reagan joined us, Addie   took my tablet to edit my writing and then wrote her own message:

My grandma is crazy
she is asking if Reagan is tired
And now she is telling Reagan to stop kicking me
And now Ogram is telling Reagan to stop saying that I have sagging leggings
(even though I don't)
And now they are talking about babies and Cuba, Canada, ISIS and other stuff.
Now she is taking a picture of me while I am writing this.
She's a stalker.

Yes, Ogram is crazy and a stalker of grandchildren and a very blessed woman during these sometimes confusing days of discernment.  After years of doing, it is challenging to stop and wait to see what is next for me.

But when I take the time to just  be present to this moment  I realize that what I have at this time of my life ....
is enough.

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