. We were at Summit Haven Retreat and stayed in different cabins high in the hills.
My journal is full of notes, prayers, insights and reflections for the time that we spent. It is early April and so the trees are still bare for the most part. I wrote this Monday morning as I felt myself awaken to the beauty that was found here.
Awakening - From Barrenness to Beauty
I come outside to the back deck at Twin Pines
And just look
at what looks brown and bare
brown leaves on the brown ground
brown bare trees awaiting leaves
And the day is beginning
And I look, gaze, wait
As I slowly waken to life
A bird alights at the very top of a tree, his tail going up and down like a see saw
and then I see another
Brown dots on spidery branches way up high
I begin to hear sounds of the birds -calling, trilling, chirping, singing, whistling
A leaf slowly dances in the wind
The sky is gradually changing from gray to light blue with patches of white
and another bird streaks silently across the sky
More leaves are moving in rhythm to the beat of the wind,
I look up at the tree - the large tree
whose limbs curve gracefully to the sky
and I see in its branches an intricate design like lace
And I am awakening
to you, O God.
I wish I could put into words the blessings of time like this. What came up in me was how much God loves me - enough to give me songs to sing, and dreams to ponder and friends to companion me.
Each night I gave a different person a reiki treatment and then would walk "home" in the dark. The first night I sat on the porch looking up at the stars and just thinking about the mystery that is God, pondering "the way" of Jesus and wanting it all. Wanting more. And waiting.
This morning on my final time of walking I noticed that in three days the area was "greening" and that buds were starting to pop. During my time in retreat I had seen glimpses of deer, butterflies and wildflowers and daffodils. It reminded me that even for an almost 66 year old woman, there is beauty and new life and freedom as I just trust God's leading.
One of the books I was reading referred to the "with God" life that Jesus demonstrates and invites us into. This is what I wrote and believe:
It is the "With God" like that I seek
A life that sees more
sees the beauty and the pain
sees all humanity in its many colors
A life that feels more - loves, pain, fear, gratitude
A life that does more
to show and to share love
not stopped by fear, pride, or anger
A life that is connected to and guided by God,
the source of life
the divine lover.