! had a wonderful - wonder full - weekend.. Friday night Audrey and I did a double header with the Oscar nominated shorts and so we viewed 10 shorts - 5 were live action and 5 were documentary. They were all powerful and often dark and intense. And left me much to the think about - the least of which is the gratitude to be born in the USA to Marge and Wayne Gersen. We saw a film about orphan girls in Guatemala, and refugee children from Syria living in Sweden, and a family in Tunisia. So many hard lives.
Saturday I went to a workshop on focussing and it was inspiring for me in my spiritual direction practice. I had been to this workshop 2 years ago and appreciated hearing and trying out the practice. It is hard to describe - but it has to do with paying attention to your body and what your body is telling you. AND allowing the images to arise and following them to where they lead you.. It is so different to be companioned by someone in this - because it helps to stay with the process and allow it to unfold. SO....in our practice session I sat with Diane and told her I wanted to deal with all the emotions and issues of the prospect of moving out of my house. And the image that came to me was a churning, tumultuous sea. And I found myself on a boat in the chaos. Then an image of Jesus appeared and he was walking across the water to me. Then the image shifted and he was in the boat asleep. I have always liked that Biblical story of Jesus who was not afraid of the storms while the disciples thought they were going to die. And THEN he stood and said peace - and the wind and the waves calmed.
This was sort of framed - in my mind by my experience years ago of canoeing with Chuck. He pushed off the canoe with me in the front and jumped in the back and we quickly capsized. And I was so mad. I told my spiritual director about this at the time, remarking on how i used to laugh at times like this and now I was so angry. And she gave me the image I have carried for 25 years - that we live in our lives like we are in a tipsy canoe on a river. Sometimes it turns over and we can swim and stand and laugh.
All of this gave me a sense of peace about this foray into chaos that is coming for me. Two weeks ago I realized that I want to move out of the house and live with less. Since that epiphany, I have contacted a realtor, talked to my financial advisor, found a place I like and talked to Steve who will do some painting and repairs on the house so I can sell it. The place I am going has a year long waiting list, so there is no stress about pushing myself on this. After I sell the house, I can put my furniture into storage and move in with Audrey for a while. And hopefully, I can be gentle with myself and trusting of God's presence and not take anything too seriously.
I preached yesterday on the Beattitudes - the BE Attitudes - about the stance of our life and the way God is trying to transform us from the inside out. It was well received and I am so comfortable now with this community.
Audrey and I were supposed to go to see a play that i had purchased the tickets for her for Christmas. She is sick and so I took a nap instead which felt wonderful. Kacey told me what her doctor told her about the importance of sleep and so I am truly working on it. Taking melatonin and napping when I need to.
Kacey and I "watched" the superbowl together. Which is to say we watched some of the commercials, all of the halftime show and played 4 games of AZUL and ate chip and dips. It was one of my best superbowls.!
So, a good weekend. A satisfying weekend. A blessed weekend
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