Some words to ponder

One of the texts of today is 1 Thessalonians 4: 1-12 which is headlined: a life pleasing to God.  It talks about abstaining from sexual immorality:

 that each one of you know how to control your own body^[a] in holiness and honor, ⁵ not with lustful passion, like the gentiles who do not know God; ⁶ that no one wrong or exploit a brother or sister in this matter,.....

 For God did not call us to impurity but in holiness

 So, even two thousand years ago, the a church leader acknowledges the challenge of living out our sexuality.  

I know this is not exactly an Advent message but I have over the years been disappointed with the response of the church to the blessing and burden of our sexuality.

 There are churches who teach about purity for young women - it is important to be chaste before marriage.  That was the message I grew up with.  In the first fifteen years of my being a minister, I knew ministers who would not do a marriage if the people were living together. Or they would require them to live apart for a time before they would perform the wedding.  Now, at my age, I really question that message. 

And the other teaching is that sexuality is between a man and a woman period.  There are churches that believe  that marriage is the only form of partnership approved by God for sexual relations and homoerotic sexual practice is incompatible with his will as revealed in scripture.  This would be those who read the scriptures literally and with a focus on the Old Testament.  Jesus said nothing about homosexuality.  What Paul said is open to interpretation (as are his injunctions for women to dress modestly or to teach men.)

When I look at the text of today,  I am drawn to this word: exploit. One definition of exploit is "to use selfishly for one's own ends."  When we exploit another person we are taking advantage,  manipulating,  using or  abusing them.  Whether gay or straight, married or unmarried - sexual exploitation is real. And what the text is saying is that those who know God do NOT exploit one another.  Does the church really talk about this in relation to sexuality?

There is another word that has become increasingly important to me recently.  It is not in the text but I believe it is implicit in the gospel message - the good news that Jesus proclaims as the reign of God. That word is mutuality. It is defined as: " the condition or quality of being mutual; reciprocity; mutual dependence; intimacy."  I keep finding that the message of Jesus is truly one of mutuality with the obvious example his famous golden rule - that we love our neighbors as ourselves..  We are invited to live into a new understanding of community which is characterized by love and mutuality.

Which leads me to my third word, that is found in the text: Holiness

The definition of holiness is to be "set apart."  That does not mean better than others like being "holier than thou" or living separated  and  cloistered from "the world."  For me it means  that while we may be living in a culture that is highly sexualized, consumeristic, materialistic and often dehumanizing, we are people who seek to live by the   values of the realm of God which are guided by love and compassion.

 On reflection, here is what I wish the message of the church was: We are called to be HOLY people - not pure and chaste and asexual - but real and authentic and able to express love with words, actions and our bodies.  Not exploting or using others for our own ends but in appreciation and mutual gratitude for the gift and responsibilities of our sexuality. 

May it be so.