Your servant is listening

Sort of.

One of the scriptures of today is the calling of Samuel in the night by God.  And it is a picture of some confusion.   The Lord called Samuel, but Samuel thought Eli was calling him. Eli understood that the Lord was calling the boy. Therefore Eli said to Samuel, “Go, lie down; and if he calls you, you shall say, ‘Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.’

The meditation from Richard Rohr this morning was title "Life as Participation."  He wrote that "all spiritual knowing is knowing by participation."  The participation is living in such a way that we are embodying that statement - "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."

He writes about the "contemplative practice that is a "laboratory" in which we learn to die to our passing identities, emotions and thoughts so we can receive the permanent and perfect mirroring of the Divine Gaze."

These are good words but in my experience a challenging practice.  This morning I sat in my prayer room and actually set my cell phone for 20 minutes to allow myself just to be present and open to the Holy One.  I guess you might call that meditation or contemplation.  Except my dog, Ginger, was whining at the door.  After some time I finally let her in.  As I sat on the floor with my eyes closed, I felt her cold nose on my hands.  Finally she ended up on her back in the most vulnerable position and I was scratching her belly until my hand got tired.  Then I tried to go back to my "meditation" and after two minutes opened my eyes to see Ginger just staring at me. We went back and forth  to belly scratching and then some sitting and eventually the 20 minutes were up.

Afterwards my reflections were more confused that Sanuel's in the night mistaking  God's voice for Eli.  Wondering if Ginger is here to reflect:
   - my mind that cannot get settled
   - my soul that is insatiable for love and attention
  - the distractions of my life
  - an opportunity to give  love

So I try in a fallible and faithful way to listen and to participate and be open to the call of God.  A call that wants to cleanse, heal, correct and caress me.

Here is my prayer today

Loving God, be patient with me as I seek to open myself to your spirit. Speak Lord, your servant is listening.  Amen
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