And I hope - some beginnings.
There are several endings this month that I am having to get used to.
1. My 30 week retreat in daily life ended on Friday. No longer will I be meeting Janice every week for spiritual direction and feel locked into an hour of prayer, reading and writing daily.
2. My women writing for a change ended last week - and so no longer am I thinking all week about what to write and preparing myself for the meetings on Monday nights.
3. The Good Wife ends this Sunday. For years now, Nicole and I have faithfully watched this show together and responded noisily to every exciting thing - whether it was the boots that Kalinda wore, the sudden shooting of Will Gardner, Alicia's hair and makeup or the steamy love scenes this season with Jason. It has been a great show and I will miss it!
So - what is the beginning? I have been listening to a wonderful book Writing Down Your Soul by Janet Conner and it is really speaking to me about how important daily writing is to hearing what she calls "the voice" and I would call the spirit. What I have experienced over the years is a real clarity and "knowing" that came out of time just spent writing in a journal.
So, as I look ahead this seems to be a pretty good start to finding the next step on my journey. This book quotes so many of my favorite authors - Julia Cameron, Elizabeth Gilbert, Anne LaMott and is showing me - or reminding me - that it is in writing that I do come to a deeper peace and understanding about what is happening in this moment as well as a sense of what may come.
She writes: "Writing focuses your attention so clearly on the wisdom within that you cannot help but feel guided and loved." That has been my experience for over thirty years - and yet.....so often I resist taking the time daily to just write.
So, that is the beginning for me. Finishing this book and beginning again to take seriously the gift of journaling. As She wrote I say this: "Here I am. Take my hand. I am ready, willing and worthy."
And I will trust that this may be a new beginning as I write and listen.