Monday was my day off, Presidents day and a snow day. We got a lot of snow here in Columbus and as the day started I stopped by blockbuster and got movies to watch.
Chuck is still in Phoenix so I am on my own. Which is in some ways kind of nice. A day to myself. Too bad I also have to do the shoveling, but....
I watched 2 movies which are up for best movie of the year for the oscars - "A Serious Man" and "The Hurt Locker." They were both excellent and thought provoking movies. And with both of them I was happy to have rented so that I could watch the directors and actors commentaries afterward. I am still ruminating about them both.
What I realize this morning is that they were both about finding meaning in your life. In "A Serious Man" physics professor Larry Gopnich had his life fall apart - or maybe his illusions about his life stripped away. He went to the rabbis to help him in his confusion and they were no help to him. This is a Coen brothers movie so it is funny and quirky and has a lot of sub text. But as I reflected on the movies this morning I just thought about the essential mystery of all of our lives that we want to avoid through lives of "normalcy" or explain in some coherent way. And our lives are so complicated.
I have found meaning in my own life through my experience of God and through my faith which is both tied to the ancient stories and very personally tied to my own story. And the more I "know" both stories - the more able I am to live in the mystery of it all. And in Larry's case - he didn't even know his own story - let alone the stories of faith. Clearly I am still processing this.
"The Hurt Locker" was a war movie about an elite squad of soldiers who disarm bombs. This war in Iraq is notable for the roadside bombs and these men are so valuable. As I started to watch this movie, I thought about the war movies that have been so meaningful to me over the years - The Deer Hunter, Platoon, Saving Private Ryan. With all of them, at some point I want to stop watching - it is so hard to see what war does to people. It hurts my soul.
At the same time, we need to see these movies to understand what it means to put people in harm's way. What also struck me was how perilous life was at times in the movie and then what could they do with the emotions that came out of it? Life could change in a moment and they were sometimes responsible for that moment. How to live through it and to not be damaged forever by the experience. What a movie.
We all have experienced times in our lives when everything changes in a moment. We just don't realize it - like when someone is diagnosed with cancer or has a car accident or a loved one dies. Everything changes in a moment. And then you have to keep going. And make sense of it.
So, it is not for nothing that I call this blog Margot Ruminates. This is what I ruminate about. And am grateful to have a sense of something more behind what is going on in the present. It is mystery, of course - but it is also a loving presence. And I am talking about my experience of God who gives us comfort, strength and hope as we walk through some difficult times.
Life is hard - and very confusing at times - but God is good.
That much I know.