Advent 2021

 It is here again - this holy season of Advent which I always look forward to.  Yesterday we decorated the church with a hanging of the greens service and John preached about hope.  I told him afterwards that I heard hope in a new way - it is more than an attitude or perspective.  It is an action.

I have always identified myself as a person of hope.  As Chuck was dying three years ago and after he passed away, I always knew I would "get through it."  I didn't know how difficult grieving would be and how it would change so much about my life.  But always I knew - in my head and in my heart.

At the same time, I now see that as  person of hope - I also acted in ways that moved me forward.  It enabled me not to get stuck.  Like reading books on grief, starting work at a church, taking the risk to try a new sport, contacting friends for walking in the morning, fixing up my house, reaching out to neighbors. And writing and crying.  I am a big proponent of crying - and talking about it.  It really helps to get it out!

One of the blessings of working at Gender Road has been my contact with people who are twenty years older than me and living vital lives.  That has helped me to live in hope too.  I am not on the downslide but still moving forward to do more, learn more and be more.

Friday I am having a minor elective surgery that is going to improve my life in the long wrong.  In the short run, it makes me anxious and I have to be living in a dependent state for a while and I have to give up some things that really matter to me - like pickleball.  But I realized yesterday as John preached that the decision to go forward with this is an act of hope.  The hope is that I am going to live longer and better.  And there is more to come.

So, here is an Advent Prayer (from the Dominican Sisters of Peace)  as we look toward the celebration of the birth of Jesus in 2021.  My hope is that my preparation for Christmas this season will bring a new experience of Christmas for me.

God of our Advent longing

Promise and fulfillment of our life's journey

We pray during this sacred season for the gift of hope.

Like a deep root planted within our very being.

teach  us to nourish this growing gift.

When our days become frayed with anxiety,

when our paths become blurred from purpose

When our lives become threadbare of your presence.

It is you, God, our Advent longing

We seek in hope.

Amen