The Holy Longing

 One of my "directees" told me that she was reading the book The Holy Longing by Ronald Rolheiser and I realized that I had that book in my library and had read it when I was in the Wellstreams program. 

So, I spent some time with it this morning in prayer and reflection.  And found myself moved by what I was reading.  He writes about the desire that is our dis-ease. 

"Whatever the expression, everyone is ultimately talking about the same thing - an unquenchable fire, a restlessness, a longing, a disquiet, a hunger, a loneliness, a gnawing nostlgia, a wildness that cannot be tamed, a congenital all-embracing ache that lies at the center of human experience and is the ultimate force that drives everything else.

....sometimes it hits us as pain - dissatisfaction, frustration and aching.  At other times its grip is not felt as painful at all, but as a deep energy, as something beautiful....Spirituality is ultimately about what we do with that desire.  What we do with our longings, both in terms of handling the pain and the hope they bring us, that is our spirituality.

I've included all of these quotes because I want to remember them and it expresses so well how I feel. I live between pain and hope as I imagine all people do - when we have the courage to feel our deepest feelings and get in touch with that deep desire.

He writes that a healthy spirit (soul) gives us energy and love AND keeps us glued together.  He describes it as fire and water.  There is energy and chaos and there is peace and order.  And we can lean into one side or the other at times.

What I know to be true is that my salvation is always going to be found in that mystery of prayer.  Somehow my awareness of God's love and presence helps to anchor me in the midst of the muddle that is me.  It is easy to tamp down the desire which can lead to depression in a heartbeat. But it is in times of prayer and reflection that I can recognize God's activity in my life and emerge with a greater sense of purpose and clarity about me, about life, about God.

In the course I have been taking on Teresa of Avila James Finley writes about how much we like to sit in a comfortable chair with a book on prayer and underline insightful passages.  God knows I do love to do that.  It is, however, when we shut the book and spend time with God that the mystery of presence emerges. 

Here is a blessing by Maxine Shonk

May the God of CONTEMPLATION bless you,calling you into the still point of Divine Presence.

Out of the silent center of your being may you bring serenity and peace to every circumstance and to each person.

May your contemplation bear fruit in the words that you speak and the work that you do.

May the God of CONTEMPLATION bless you.