Susan is my oldest friend - we have known each other since September 1967 when we entered our freshman year at Hanover College. We had rooms next to each other and became sorority sisters. The next year we were roommates and "corridor chairmen." And the next year we were each one Student staff . The next year I was married and she was my bridesmaid and the next year she was married and I was her bridesmaid.
Our friendship has survived and actually thrived even though we never lived in the same state since 1970. We have talked on the phone forever, written blogs together, vacationed together, cruised together. I officiated her daughters wedding and her mother's funeral. She came to Marnie's wedding and most recently Chuck's celebration of life. We share a love of books, movies, games, and laughter. I think the most important part of our life together is our mutual search for meaning, purpose and understanding of life. I walk around her house and see so many books that we have both read that have shaped us and given us common language and aspirations for spiritual growth.
Susan is - like Vicky - a natural and comforting hostess for this grieving guest. She knows to give me space and then to invite me to an activity. We have a nice rhythm and Ken is part of that. So, I start this week - with two more days here - in gratitude. It is good to feel safe, comfortable, cared for and loved - and I know that love heals.
This journey of grief is full of ups and downs. I have been feeling lighter since I have been here and thought that maybe the daily tears are drying up. Yesterday we went to church and I was ambushed by the tears that came up. I realized it was the first time I had been to church since Chuck's death and so many memories of being with him in church flooded over me. There is no question that this is a process - I can say it, read about it, write about it but it still surprises me.
I have been starting to work on an ordination sermon for Saturday. And in my research on it, I found this beautiful poem It really speaks to me about the life journey and the truth that we really need each other.
I will end this post with it.
There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart and will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.
And I say, see who is in there with you and celebrate. At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey come to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves! Banish the word ’struggle’ from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
--Hopi Elders' Prophecy, June 8, 2000
No comments:
Post a Comment