The silent retreat was a gift beyond explaining, but still I want to say something.
First, there is a tremendous blessing to silence in community. I know people who live alone and with silence as a regular feature of their life. But a silent retreat is different than that. It is an intentional silence in which we are waiting expectantly and listening.
For what? I cannot explain that either. In some ways, we are listening for peace and for love. One of the hallmarks of a silent retreat iis that it is a time to savor the presence and the constant love of God. Which is available always, but usually we are distracted, busy and essentially take it for granted. It is a time of opening ourselves in a different way. The first morning I sat in my room, took a breath and said out loud to God "I am here for you." And I felt like God said - "I've been waiting for you." And that was so important for the rest of the week.
I was a participant in the silence of the retreat and also a director who was supervised. In the morning I would meet with Janice and as I approached the meditation room, I had the sense that she was waiting for me. Similarly I arrived early for the "directees" and was there waiting for them. It is waiting to listen and hear about what God has been doing in the past twenty four hours. And when I sit on a chair in my room or a bench outside with God who has been waiting, there is for me to listen to the desires of my heart as well as show me something new.
The community aspect is similarly hard to explain but an important part. We see each other walking on the grounds, we eat together silently in the dining room and we know that each of us is on our own exploration of the holy. Separately and individually but together.
Finally, there is nature that is so necessary for a week like this. Someone said that nature is God's first language. There are times just walking in the woods or the garden or the grounds that just bring "consolation." There can be something transcendent sitting on a bench in the woods, or watching a butterfly on a daisy, or sitting at a pool and gazing at a statue of St Francis. It is "nonrational" but without a doubt brings a shift within my soul.
I wrote this on my last day as I sat beside a fountain and spent time with Francis of Assisi.
Come to the water
Let it Refresh your soul
As you linger here
Come to the water
Let Francis guide you
Into a simpler way
Come to the water
Sit in the silence
And know that you are loved
Come to the water
Drink in the beauty
Stay and receive new life
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