Journal Notes

I have kept journals for decades and have most of them still.  They are collected in the basement in a big box, in shelves in a closet and the most recent ones in a corner of the prayer room.  Not all of them are finished - sometimes I start and after a couple of weeks stop and then never go back to it.
And when I return to journal writing, I need to buy a new one.

Yesterday I finished a journal and started a new one.  I spent some time perusing the book which is more than just my own morning musings.  I have been taking a "women writing for a change class" and there are "fast writes from that" and also have been to some workshops and a class on Diamond Heart and there are notes from that.  I also recorded thoughts from readings about supervising spiritual directors. It is generally a record of what has been going on and seemed important to me for the last three months.

So, I thought I write here twelve of  the key quotes and thoughts before I relegate this journal to a box.
1. "Prayer is not gritting your teeth, but falling in love."

2. I reflected on "hyper awareness."  I enjoy watching "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" by Jerry Seinfeld and Sarah Jessica Parker mentioned to him that she was like him - hyper aware.  That is, a life of noticing the little things and for Jerry it is about finding the humor, the joke, the bit in what is going on in daily life.  My reflection is that as people who take seriously the spiritual journey - our hyper awareness ( as opposed to unconsciousness) is about seeing the signs of God's activity.  It makes life much more interesting and alive.

3. I have been carrying a wrapper from a piece of Dove Chocolate which says "Be proud of your age."  I felt like it was a divine message as that number keeps getting bigger. (part of my hyper awareness)

4. Quote from Diamond Heart - "You are either filing a hole or tolerating a hole"  And the invitation is to inquire about and explore the hole.

5. Quote from Diamond Heart - "Essense is the elixer of enlightenment, the golden thread in everything"

6. Quote from Diamond Heart - With holes - you either experience them or act from its deficiency.

7. My own reflection - when Jesus was in the wilderness, it was a time of exploration of hole.

8. Random quote "you are alive today because the universe wants you to be alive"

9. The journey - seeing beyond the surface to the depth of being

10. In spiritual direction (and in life) - those who are coming to us are not problems to be solved but mysteries to be plumbed.

11. Responsibe listening is "a long loving look at the real."

12. Most dissastisfaction comes from not being ourselves.
Thomas Merton: "How much false self are you willing to shed to get to your true self?"

I will end this post with a poem I really like that somehow speaks to this time in my life

"The Way It Is."

There's a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can't get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of the thread.

William Stafford