Waiting

I am waiting to leave for a retreat on Advent which is on "Waiting."  Today is December 1st and the first day of the Holy Season of Advent - the time of preparation before our celebration of Christmas.

As I write this, you know I am a "churched" person.  For most people we are now into the Christmas season.  Black Friday is over and there are 25 days until the big day.  But my life has been lived in the church and I am so aware of the liturgical year - which begins now - with Advent.

Fourteen years ago I purposely started my ministry at Karl Road Christian Church on the first Sunday of Advent - the beginning of the church year.  Now three years later, I still have this sense of beginning again.  This season of waiting.

I have spent much of the week - if not preparing - at least thinking about this retreat.  We titled it "My Soul Waits....." and tomorrow I hope that the twelve women who come will dig deep enough to ponder all the ways in which their soul is waiting.  Waiting for Christmas, of course.  But also waiting for healing or love or our children to thrive.  There are lots of ways in which we are waiting - short term and long term.

What I believe is that the waiting times are more fruitful than any of us know.  Intellectually I think waiting is necessary to prepare us for whatever is coming next.  However, that is my head speaking.  My heart wants things to happen faster than they ever do. And I am talking about little things as well as big things.  One of the hardest parts of living with Chuck is that he is in every way - slower than me.  Slower getting out of the car, slower walking, slower getting dressed.  And I wait and wait and wait.  I hope that somehow over the years I have become more understanding and realistic and - yes - patient.  I hope so.  Because waiting is hard.

So, the waiting for the retreat is almost over.  I leave in an hour to go spend the night at camp and tomorrow we gather to consider the preparation of Advent - and this journey of faith - that will always lead to waiting.  For God, for Hope, for Love.

Here is a poem by Mary Oliver I am going to share tomorrow



Such Silence
As deep as I ever went into the forest
I came upon an old stone bench, very, very old,
and around it a clearing, and beyond that
trees taller and older than I had ever seen.
Such silence!
It really wasn’t so far from a town, but it seemed
all the clocks in the world had stopped counting.
So it was hard to suppose the usual rules applied.
Sometimes there’s only a hint, a possibility.
What’s magical, sometimes, has deeper roots
than reason.
I hope everyone knows that.
I sat on the bench, waiting for something.
An angel, perhaps.
Or dancers with the legs of goats.
No, I didn’t see either. But only, I think, because
I didn’t stay long enough.