Ruminating on Old Age
Because I visited 2 nursing homes this afternoon. And it makes me think about it all.
Being old, getting old - it isn't always pretty.
My parents died at 71 and 78 years of age respectively. And while my mother was in a retiredment community at the end of her life and living with cancer, she still was not old to me. She played bridge, followed current events avidly and continueed (for better or worse!) to drive her friends to church. And as much as I miss my parents, I have been grateful that we did not have to go through what I have watched friends and parishioners have to face.
I visited someone today whose mental capacities are diminished with age. There was confusion and paranoia and fear. At one point as I sat with her she suddenly said, "I'm afraid I'm going to die today." And I am sitting there wondering what is all of this like? And how do we love each other during these times.
And now that I am 61 and Chuck is 75 (!) I wonder how we can make it easier for our children if this happens to us? And again, there are no answers, but lots of questions. As usual I would like to control it - the terms of my aging and even my death and I don't get to. Nobody does unless you commit suicide.
My ruminations end with the truth of our lives - that we have to live this day and trust that God will guide us, protect us and love us through all the tomorrows. Interestingly, I am preaching this Sunday on Matthew 6: 24-34 which is about trusting God in what you eat and wear and all things.
But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34“So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.