Struggle

I am watching people I love struggle.
And it is really hard to find my role in it.

Yesterday I spent an hour with Lisa who has breast cancer.
I read Audrey's blog as she struggles with her place in the church as a gay ordained (and gifted!) minister. (www.audreythoughts.blogspot.com)
Kacey and Brett are still in a quandry about their future - whether to stay or move and where to move.
My friend Susan - like others I know - is dealing with issues of parent care.
And that is just a few.
And now I begin the weekly struggle with a text and what is the word for God's people for this week.

Joan Chittister wrote a wonderful book about struggle some years ago after September 11. It is Scarred by Struggle, Transformed by Hope. I know and have experienced some struggles which have defined who I am. And I am unabashedly a woman of hope.

Even yet, I know how easy it is to want to give answers to others as if there is an answer. And to try to superimpose order in the midst of the chaos that is part of the struggle.

And so I know (intellectually, of course) that my role is to be present and to listen and to pray and sometimes to cry. And to wait for their truth to emerge.
As I write this, it seems pretty clear.
But as I live it - it is its own struggle.

I think that when life is really lived - it is harder than we want to admit.
But it is also richer.

Weekend

It is Sunday night and I am waiting for Chuck's race to be over so then we will have dinner together. As I wait, I am watching Chris Noth on a Law and Order Rerun and happy. Waiting.

Our gospel praise service is in a time of transition and I think that we are going to grow. I hope so. Charles Ferguson, who has been our preacher for 3 years will be leaving at the end of the year. Today we had a guest preacher and it was really great. Robert Hearn preached and brought his family with him - his father who is a pastor in Mansfield and 4 siblings and their families. Plus some other friends came as well. We had three times as many people as we usually have and it was so much fun to sing and to pray and to just be together. It was wonderful and I hope that we will get to a place like this soon. One of the men who came is an evangelist who lives across the street from the church. He and I talked in the parking lot afterward and he gave me a lot to think about - about bringing the church to the community. It feels like the spirit is moving.

Yesterday Chuck and I bought a mattress at a store on Morse Road. The man who sold us the mattress also lives in our neighborhood. He is a Palestinian Muslim originally from Jerusalem. We got into a really interesting discussion about religion and exchanged names and numbers. With the possibility of further conversation. With both of these men, I wonder what the future will hold - people very different from me, but with a perspective that might help me to learn.

One other blessing from the weekend was dinner at Marnie and Erik's house. Erik's mom was there and we really enjoyed her company. She is a person who loves to do crafts which will give her a wonderful bond with Reagan and Addie (and certianly not something that I am interested in.) I see this new family forming in good ways. After dinner Addie and Reagan made a tend in the living room from blankets and tables. I remember doing that as a little girl and I remember the girls doing that as well. You can buy kids all kinds of toys - but sometimes making a little place of your own is the best thing in the world.

Anyway, as always, an interesting weekend - fulfilling in its own way.

Sermon - Asking the Right Questions

I am not going to be putting this in every week - but I thought this was interesting. For the first time I preached on a text I have avoided for 24 years - about divorce.
Here it is:

2Some Pharisees came, and to test him they asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”
4They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her.”
5But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote this commandment for you.
6But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’
7‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh.
9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10Then in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter.
11He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; 12and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
13People were bringing little children to him in order that he might touch them; and the disciples spoke sternly to them. 14But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. 15Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I have had a half dozen opportunities to preach this text over the years as it comes up in the lectionary and I usually stick to the last verses – let the children come. Receive the kingdom as a child.
Because the first 10 verses are a can of worms.

This text has been used and misused by the church.
The words of Jesus spoken 2000 years ago to a particular culture – have been laid on people today.
And for many people, this is what is cited that keeps men and women in abusive relationships. Because Jesus said – don’t divorce
Some churches has used this text to "shoot their wounded" through excommunication or rejection
For those of us who have been through divorce – it is a text that brings guilt and shame and confusion.

So this morning I thought I would open up and struggle with it, ruminate on it, and tell you what I see in this. Lets start with the three big problems and get them out of the way

1. The first problem is that most of us are ignorant about the differences between marriage itself in Biblical times and today.
Marriage today is about people who love each other, pick each other out and want to start a life together in mutual fulfillment.
Marriage in Biblical times was often between families – where an economic alliance was formed, the woman had much less power,
Divorce was different then too.
a husband could initiate a divorce from his wife by giving her a document called a get, which terminated the marriage and made it possible for the woman to enter into a subsequent marriage legally. Jewish men could marry more than one woman, at least in theory, and so did not need a divorce in order to marry again.
Then men were clearly in power and it was easier then to divorce than it is now.
2. Second problem is interpreting it literally.
And that of course, is to look at the issue of adultery and what that means. I have heard lots of people explain the righteoueness of their divorce because of a literal reading of the word adultery. We also need to recognize that Jesus brought a new definition to "committing adultery" in Mt 5:28. Anyone who looks at another lustfully has committed this sin. I doubt that any of us can plead "not guilty" to this commandment. In our imaginations we break faithfulness with a spouse (if we are married).
We say – it is sexual adultery and not want to name all the other forms of adultery that get in between relationships – people who have emotional affairs, a job that is a mistress, a family that they are more loyal to than their spouse, an addiction to a computer, pornography, alcohol drugs. There is only one literal understanding of adultery.
And so… you can see where that leads us.
3. These problems – make us ignore the text altogether and reject what Jesus is saying. See it as quaint and outdated and having no relevance in our lives.

So, having said all that – what is it saying to us today

Start with the Pharisees who are asking a question – what is legal
And that is connected to a deeper question – what is the loophole. When we are talking about marriage – and want to get out of it – how can we make that happen? (also a trick question - because what he says may offend Herod who has recently divorced his wife and married his brothers sister!!!)

Jesus does his answer a question with a question thing – revealing that they know what Moses Said
But then we hear Jesus' answer - answer to the question that should asked

Which is – what is the will of God – and in this case – what is the will of God about marriage
Then he goes back to the beginning – to Adam and Eve – to remind them of God’s design
Jesus is asked a legal question, a technical, down-to-earth, question about everyday, lived reality, and he answers with an ideal that is, to be honest, almost impossible to achieve, at least for everyone.
This is what Jesus always does – he radicalizes the demands of the law.

Jesus describes marriage with utmost seriousness, as something that transcends contractual obligations and economic utility, as something rooted in human identity
That they would leave their mother and father and cleave to one another……………..become one flesh.
We are talking about something deeper than sexuality here – we are talking about become united – in mutual submission – mutual love. Forever………….That is the will of God.

Leslie Weatherhead wrote about the will of God – and he divided it into three categories –
There is first of all the Intentional will of God
And that is what Jesus tells us – reminds us
That we would be in a deep committed loving, relationship with our partner. Forever.

But he also talks about God’s circumstantial will.
God’s circumstantial will is what happens in the circumstances that occur as a result of human sin. We are not perfect!
We are far from perfect.
We come into marriage immature, often with very unrealistic understandings of marriage, we come not knowing ourselves, and not wanting to know every part of our partner.
We come and we have not left our mother and father –
- fail to cut the strings and bring unresolved issues into the marriage – and we don’t even know it
In our selfishness, our impulsiveness, our rebellion we make mistakes that can wound the other deeply. And sometimes the marriage is far from God’s intentional will. Disordered, destructive, damaging

That now all we can do is come to God and say – what is your will for me now in these circumstances.
And like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane – praying on our knees because of the reality of sin that has brought us to this place
We say – not my will but thy will be done

Not – what is the law, what are the loopholes – but what is your will for me in these circumstances.

And then we become like children –Who call our father ABBA knowing that we do not know what to do without our lord’s protection and guidance
- and I can only tell you what I believe – there are times when our Lord’s circumstantial will is to leave – to shake the dust off your feet, to bind our wounds, to accept the death, and to trust our future to God
- and there are times in which the lord is telling us clearly to stay – to forgive, to love, to rely on God’s grace, to trust our future to God

We become like children –to our father - Abba - knowing who we are and whose we are and ask for grace and mercy and new life.

This Sunday – world wide communion Sunday, marriage and divorce Sunday, let the children come Sunday

There is only one word that brings all of these themes together- and that word is relationship. God wants us to be in relationships that are broad and deep.

God calls us into relationship – with each other – all around the world – and intimately and deeply in marriage and family. And we come as we are – as sinners seeking to be saints
Divorce is never God’s intentional will for us but because of human sinfulness it happens, and we need divorce laws for protection. (Divorce is probably better than murder ).
Divorced (and remarried) people are sinners, but so are all of us. Jesus refused to condemn and punish the one who had been caught in adultery. I believe that that same grace and mercy is extended to all of us sinners -- even those who have been through divorce and remarriage. How much more does someone whose life has publicly been torn apart need the comfort and love and acceptance from a community?
The law will allow – then and now. But God’s grace will give life.
I mentioned that Leslie Weatherhead writes about God’s will – God’s intentional will, God’s circumstantial will and God’s ultimate will. Which is for his glory and our good.
We are resurrection people – Christ’s resurrection that brings life out of death and our resurrection that does that same.
· I have watched people who “hung in their in their marriages” through some very difficult times with their partner. And they experienced a resurrection as grace and mercy prevailed and they found their way back. Not just to stay for the sake of the kids or finances – but they found new life and new love in their relationship. You can only describe it as resurrection.
· And there are people whose resurrection – new life came afterward – as God prepared them for a new partner which whom they could experience God’s grace and mercy. And it seemed – and it seems like the greatest gift. And I am certainly one of them in my marriage to Chuck.

We have to be people asking the right questions – and the right questions are not going to be – what is legal
But what is the will of God – what is your will for me
And there is one more question that is found in this text.

We only need the law – because of the hardness of our own hearts.
So I leave you with that today. What is the state of your heart.
The text ends with a picture of the disciples whose hearts were hard as they tried to exclude the children from coming close to our Lord.
It is my hope that we recognize the ways in which God wants us to have the vulnerable, open hearts of a child.
Who live our lives knowing our need of Abba, Daddy, our Lord Jesus
Having nothing and knowing our need of Abba – our father who will guide our steps,

Sermon - "Are You Salty?)

Note to reader: I tend to write to be spoken - not read. Tried to clean it up!

Mark 9: 38-50

38John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him, because he was not following us.” 39But Jesus said, “Do not stop him; for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. 40Whoever is not against us is for us. 41For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ will by no means lose the reward.
42“If any of you put a stumbling block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were hung around your neck and you were thrown into the sea.
43If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life maimed than to have two hands and to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire.
45And if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off; it is better for you to enter life lame than to have two feet and to be thrown into hell.
47And if your eye causes you to stumble, tear it out; it is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and to be thrown into hell, 48where their worm never dies, and the fire is never quenched.
49“For everyone will be salted with fire. 50Salt is good; but if salt has lost its saltiness, how can you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.”
++++++++++++++++++++++++
someone once said: :You can divide the world into two groups of people.
Those who believe you can divide the world into two group of people,
and those who don't.
Jesus' disciples belong to the first group; Jesus belongs to the second

And so the disciples see the world divided into them and us – but Jesus says don’t worry about them. Worry about yourself!
Looking at this text – one of the things I noticed was how many times in 5 verses – Jesus uses the word YOU or YOUR – 10 times in 4 verses – which leads me to conclude that this text may be saying this to us
Discipleship is The road to Self Examination – in other words look at YOURSELF
In these 4 verses that 10 times say you – they 4 times use the word stumble.
And it is saying this – beware of becoming a stumbling block that is going to trip up others.
Do no harm – don’t get in the way of the faith and maturity of another.
Because we are all connected and we affect each other.
Frederick Beuchner describes humanity as an enormous spider web, "if you touch it anywhere, you set the whole thing trembling…The life that I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops…"

So beware of becoming a stumbling block. I would like to suggest three ways in which we can cause people to stumble.
First is our anxiety. Anxiety can be almost contagious.
We have concerns about the future and the instability and insecurity of life that can stop us from living in the present
Our worries about the future can cause us to live closed off lives – afraid to take risks.

And the anxiety we have for others may be rooted in love. some of you might have experienced that as parents. I have watched my daughters make all kinds of decisions – entering into relationships and leaving them, taking jobs, quitting jobs, going to school, leaving school.
And I have to watch it all the time. My anxiety about their future can cause me to encourage them to take what seems to me to be the safe plan….which may not be God’s plan. But I don’t want to be a stumbling block stopping them from living out their life

Some of it is rooted in Experience. Watched people lived through the depression have the same thing – you don’t understand how hard it can be. I have lived through times of want – I don’t want to risk the church’s future. Churches with great big endowments – afraid to spend them on things that would grow the church because of their anxiety about the future. Anxiety is a stumbling block

Second – our judgements can be a stumbling block and shut people down. Part of the human condition – to look for the speck in someone else’s eye and ignore the log in our own. And we may have grown up with people who did that. John Powell writes: “when we were little kids playing with our toy cars or dolls, we heard our parents talking about others. We heard them talking about the people with whom they worked and the people in the neighborhood. Their messages, expressed and implied were recorded in our parent tapes. And of course, we engage in the same behavior.
And there are so many ways in which our judgments cause other people to stumble –

Third our own character flaws can get in the way of other people’s faith. We may be the only sermon some people see.
And if they look at us and they see someone they can’t count on
Someone who gossips with your back is turned
Someone who pretends to be one thing in front of you and someone else when you are not around. Hypocrites.
Someone who is a perfectionist – who has set the bar so high – that they can never be satisfied and no one else is either.


The text is saying – look at yourself and are you a stumbling block for others.
This interrelationship that we have means that our life is not our own – and not only are we damaging ourselves – but we are damaging others in the way we are living our lives

And so the text ends with a different image – of salt so that the question is – are you becoming a stumbling stone or are you becoming salt. Salty!
And let me talk about three qualities of salt that we can demonstrate
1. Bring healing –It kills most germs on contact. It burns when it hits a raw spot, but is very effective in cleansing a wound so it can heal. Becoming an element of therapy and healing because in the days of Jesus salt has been used as a means of medication and as a means of healing diseases and infirmities.
There is power in the name of the Lord – power to heal – power to bring people into a greater place. When we are the salt we potentially bring healing into every situation that we enter.
People need to know the reality that broken lives can be made whole again in Jesus Christ. There is healing for the spiritually sick who need Jesus.
2. Add Flavor It brings flavor and taste. That means that salt brings taste to the tasteless and flavor to something that does not have any flavor.
Picture popcorn without salt– needs a little salt – brings the flavor, enhances the flavor. We are called to bring out the “God flavors” in life– the flavor that we bring is a flavor of joy and love and peace.
We - meaning people as individuals, we - meaning the church the comes and enhances the culture. We bring flavor – that is harmonious. And salt makes everyone and everything taste better.
3. Act as a Preservative Salt has also been used as a substance of preservative through the ages to maintain and keep; things live longer. preservative. Our ancestors used salt to cure food to be used later. Country Ham, Corned Ham, Beef Jerky, and salted fish were staples of their diets. In the time that Jesus spoke there were no refrigerators to store the meat and it was very hot. The meat could spoil in the heat so salt was rubbed on the meat to preserve it. The salt prevented the meat from spoiling.
And we too are here as the salt – as people of hope who know that God preserves, that God endures, that our help comes from the Lord. We know that there is nothing that will separate us from the love of God.


So the question – are you a stumbling block or are you salt? The disciples divided the world into two groups – but Jesus does not.

Because the answer is – if we are honest with ourselves – we are both. At times we are a stumbling block – not only to the faith of others but to our own spiritual growth. Our anxiety, judgments, character flaws do us in. Without a doubt. And we experience what you can only call hell on earth

And other times we are salt – we are full of God’s spirit and those who are near us experienced God’s love and light and joy.
The text also expresses how one becomes salt.
This verse – Everyone is salted with Fire – the fire not of hell but of refinery. The fire through which we learn – (like Psalm 124) that Our help is in the name of the Lord.

And we don’t learn that through a good sermon or Sunday School or Bible study. We learn it through some hard experiences in life – when the enemies attacked us, when we were afraid the flood would sweep us away, when we felt like we were prey for the enemy. And we learned that God was there – was our rock and our redeemer.

Times like that are the refiner’s fire. In the Christian Century this month Christine Bartholomew writes about living with cancer and lupus.
She writes this: “sickness can make your relationship with God stronger in the strangest of ways. Sickness can give us permission to be mad at God. We can scream, yell and kick our legs until we’re blue in the face. The great thing about getting mad at God is that God is big enough to take out anger. He does not run from our angry words or turn away in pain. God is big enough to take our sorrows and empathize with our pain.
He takes anger and finds ways to show us love. It may take us a while to give ourself permission to yell at God for what has happened to us, but God will love us through our anger, even when we scream. Then God can hug us and wrap loving arms around us. This is the power of God shown in sickness……

Sometimes he uses our weaknesses as a way of refining us and making us able to walk a little closer with him. “For everyone will be salted with fire.” Through the fire of pain and suffering we gain our depth, our flavor, our salt.

Through our suffering, we receive the gift of God’s undeniable presence. God’s Spirit walks into hospital rooms, sits beside our bedside and holds our hand. And sometimes, of course, it is the body of Christ – the church, the salt, who embody our Lord.

We will all go through the refiner’s fire – but not everyone will become salt. Some continue to be more stumbling blocks than salt – self protective, self centered, self pitying. That’s a mystery to me

All I know is this – we are here because we have heard our Lord call us – to be disciples of Christ to continue to walk with Lord
Continue to do self examination and continue to look to the Lord – knowing that our help is in the name of the Lord

End with one more quote from Christine Barthalomew

God is constantly refining us with fire, whether that fire be conflict, persecution or sacrifice. These events can change us and draw us closer to God. This is a work of sanctification, not salvation. We may walk into heaven suffering, limp and lame, but we will walk tall.
Amen

Weekend Update

Yesterday I was as tired as I have ever been on a Sunday morning. So as I type this I am happy that it is Monday morning and I slept 8 hours last night and I have a day off.

Friday night Kacey and I went to a movie and dinner to celebrate her birthday. This had been postponed from Monday when I drove to Lima to be part of an uncomfortable meeting for the regional church. That day was the beginning of a very tiring week.

But Friday was pure blessing. The move The Informant was very entertaining, kind of quirky and engaging. It took a while to understand that the main character was a genius liar who happened to be bi polar. What a story. I loved it. (Saturday night I happened upon an interview with the author of the book on CSpan too). We then had dinner at Kacey's fav restaurant California Pizza Kitchen at the bar. No wait and really fun to do that. I will do it again - Chuck will love it! And then perusing books and pumpkin cheese cake a coffee. A perfect evening.

Saturday I went to a listening workshop for my Wellstreams program. I continue to learn the amazing blessing of listening and how healing it can be to be listened to. I am learning so much through this program. However, by the time it was over, I was wiped out. So I actually passed on a fellowship event at church - a wine tasting party. It is so unlike me to not do something for church - but that is how tired I was.

Sunday morning I finished up the sermon - which was about how we can be stumbling blocks for others or salt. (or both!) and about how we are salted with fire.
“For everyone will be salted with fire"

At the back of my mind all weekend is Lisa Baluk and her family who are right now being salted with fire. We met Lisa about 2 years ago as she came home from Philadelphia to be cared for by her parents as she was receiving chemo. She was 29 years old with breast cancer. Our healing team would give her reiki before her chemo or operations. She also came to my Bible study. I cannot understate what a sweet beautiful young woman she is and how much she has meant to me and to the church. We watched her struggle, lose hair, grow her hair back and go into remission. She went home to Philadelphia. This past June on a visit to Columbus she came to church and told us the story of the swans who came to comfort her when she would visit. It is all so inspiring.

This week we found out that her cancer has returned and is in her lungs and liver. She had surgery Friday to check out her lymph nodes. It is all very hard - watching Lisa, her parents, her husband. And we all love her too. So, we heard that this weekend she was in so much pain she went back to the hospital. That has been a constant reminder to me of being "salted with fire." These are the times that we say that God is with us - but we may not see it at the time.

This morning as I wrote my prayers I can only trust that God will give everyone of us who love Lisa the guidance and the strength to be present to her at this time. It is a hard journey for her regardless of what happens.

Please keep her in you prayers.

Catching up

Well, it has been a while since I have written into this blog so I have a few things to catch up:

1. Our house has changed radically - Marnie and Reagan and Addie have moved into a house in Minerva Park - only 3 miles away. We enjoyed them, but it is nice to have just the 2 of us here and to be starting over again. That is what it feels like.

2. I now have a prayer room again and it is nicer than the last one. I am getting ready to be a spiritual director and this room is part of that. this is where I start the day with journaling and reading. And it feels so good. yesterday someone from church wanted to talk to me, so we came to the house and talked in the prayer room. It felt so good.

3. In two days I will start as a guide - a spiritual guide in our
"practicum" part of our class and I am anxious and also excited about it. Our third term of school has started and it is all about when we will be directing -.....wow - it is going to happen.......soon

4. I was on TV last week. I gathered with members of my church and the community - 300+ people - at Tamarack Circle near our church to pray for peace and an end to violence. The media was there and I got interviewed and had my 3 seconds of fame on the 11o clock service. After the reported asked if I "felt different" after we prayed I didn't know what to say - but I said something that actually did not sound terrible. I wasn't embarrassed. That's all I will say about it. I don't like to be on TV - but they spelled my name right and the church.

5. We had our outdoor worship service this week and it was really nice. For my sermon, I made three points that started with "C" (about conversation, child, challenge) and handed out a cucumber for each point I made. This is an homage to Herb Hicks who used to do that stuff in Zanesville - and because I did not have the powerpoint clicker in my hand!

6. Last week I did a funeral and a wedding. and as always, if I had the choice, I would pick the funerals. It is always good to be with families in their time of need and see how they work together during difficult times. I saw a bit of dysfunction in the family for the wedding - pray that all will go with with them.

7. I can hear better than I did 5 days ago because my wonderful doctor spent over 4 hours removing earwax from my right ear. I hesitate writing about this because it sounds so icky - but I read about 200 pages of my book for book group through the process and by the end I could hear my doctor breating. I also found out that my car runs loud! Who knew? Not me!

I guess that is enough for now. My second day off in a row when I did work. That's why I am always planning vacations and a sabbatical ahead. Keeps my spirits UP!!!

Julia Cameron

I like her. I really like her.

Julia is the author of The Artist's Way which I read about 15 years ago and it really has helped me to understand about the artist's life - that is to say the creative life.
And we are all artists and we all have different forms of creativity.

This book is designed to be a project that you go through every week - there are different assignments for you to do. And the purpose is to help remove the blocks to being creative.

One of the basic understandings of her process is the idea of "morning pages" - starting every day writing three pages - notebook sized pages. It is a way to get it out - the stuff inside yourself and it really helps you to see what you are carrying around inside yourself. It is just amazing. Many people if I tell them about it are immediately resistant and often in a judgmental way. Because they are too busy with important stuff and I must just have an easier life. Anyway, that has been my experience in talking about this to others. And I know how hard it is to do this - which is why I so often do not. but I also know the process works well.

When I do morning pages - I often am writing to God about the events of my life. Getting it down on paper is invaluable in later seeing and understanding with greater clarity what is going on. But that is just me -

A year and a half ago Susan and I went to a workshop that she led on creativity. In Sedona. And it was wonderful. I blogged about it at the time. The way she led us was as important as the understandings I received in the workshop. And it brought me back to moarning pages for a while and just to re-learning how much God wants us to be creative.

The reason I write this morning about it is that I picked up a book by her yesterday at the library called "Faith and Will." It is really interesting to me. First of all - it has no chapters - it is like a long talk by Julia about her relationship with God. She has written it at a time in which she is experiencing a "God absence" or "A dark night of the soul." Her writing it is a way to help her through this time. And these times are part of the life of the faithful.

Her experience and expressions of God are not at all tied to religion but they really speak to me. She is kind of "out there" and even writes honestly about her issues with having nervous breakdowns - but as I read this book I feel so connected to her understandings about the life of faith.

Check it out.