Hope of Advent

 I started this day sitting at the table and spending time just looking outside at the bare trees, the sky, the water, the brown leaves on the ground and an occasional squirrel or bird flying by.  At church on Sunday I picked up an Advent devotional called "The Poetry of Advent" which is an Advent companion to Mary Oliver's devotions.  I don't have that but I  find the poems they referenced.

Here it is Thursday and I am finally doing what I said I was going to do every day during Advent - a daily devotional.  Maybe this is a beginning and I will continue after this.  I hope so.  It is so good for my spirit and my soul.

I take notes from the scripture and the reading: 

The Kingdom is near

Be Alert

"To pay attention is our endless and proper work"  - a quote from Mary Oliver's poem "Yes No"

Be on guard against being consumed with the worries of this life.

I sit and breathe it all in and feel awe just looking at the scene in front of me.  

I read another poem by Mary Oliver - "On thy wondrous works I will meditate (Psalm 145)" which begins:

"So it is not hard to understand

where God's body is, it is 

Everywhere and everything: shore and the vast 

Fields of water, the accidental and the intended

Over here, over there.  And I bow down

Participate and attentive

It is so dense and apparent.  ....."

I wish I could put into words the fullness within me just to spend a few moments like this.  Remembering that God is here and  I can  trust and let go.   

Whatever I write and whatever I say is inadequate.   John comes by on his way to blowing the leaves off the deck and I read what I have written to him and he kisses me and tells me that he loves me.  It is all so good.  At the same time  I have to shut down the voices that say - you are wasting time - you  are pretending to be spiritual - why haven't you done this more?  

The scene that surrounds me in this beautiful home  has a wildness and a desolation.  There are few leaves left on the trees and they are brown and moving in the breeze.  The sky is mottled with a faint line of pink on the horizon.  

I am so aware during this season of my own blessings and privilege.  I continue to be haunted by the events of October 6 and the brutality of Hamas against the Israelis in Gaza.  As some hostages are freed we learn about the inhuman conditions in which they were held and the reality that more people are captive and may never be released.  

So, my devotions come and remind me that God is everywhere - everywhere.  In the wonder of this chapter in my life and in the tunnels underneath hospitals in Gaza.  God is everywhere.  I trust that and live in despair and hope at the same time.  And wait. 

"Be alert" Jesus says.  "To pay attention is our endless and proper work"  writes Mary Oliver.

It is Advent.  A time of waiting and preparation.