Faith

I just finished reading a wonderful book by a Buddhist writer: Sharon Salzberg called Faith.: Trusting your own Deepest Experience.  

Her definition of faith is different from our usual Chrisian teachings.  She writes:

"Faith does not require a belief system, and is not necessarily connected to a deity or God, though it doesn't deny one.  This faith is not a commodity we either have or don't have - it is an inner quality that unfolds as we learn to trust our own deepest experience."

My definition of faith has always been in relationship to God - that my faith IS my relationship to God.  This understanding is about life itself and the  reality of impermanence and at the same time the love that is everywhere.  

To quote her: "The Buddha said, "Faith is the beginning of all good things."  No matter what we encounter in life, it is faith that enables us to try again, to trust again, to love again.  Even in times of immense suffering, it is faith that enables us to realte to the present moment in such a way that we can go on, we can move forward, instead of becoming lost in resignation or despair."

My life has been a roller coast for the last few years.  The loss of Chuck and the resulting grief and then meeting John and the wonder of new love again.  I just sit here this morning in gratitude for all of it and for my faith that helps me to let go of fear and anxiety live in the moment and trust the love dreanched universe.  

Here is a prayer by Ted Loder that speaks to me.

Loosen My Grip

O God, it is hard for me to let go.

Please loosen my grip on those grudges

and grievances I hold so closely.

that I may risk exposing myself

to the spirit of forgiving and forgiveness

that changes things

and resurrects dreams and courage.

Loosen my grip on my fears

release me a little into humility

and into an acceptance of my humanity.

Release me from the ominous fear

of thinking some sin or failure of mine

can separate me from you.

Release me from the dark fury

of assuming I am unloved

when the day calls for sacrifice

and the night for courage.

Loosen my grip on myself

for to reach out

is to know myself held;

to laugh at myself

is to be carried on the easiness of your grace;

to attend to each moment

is to hear the faint melody of eternity.

Loosen my grip on my fears and fretfulness

so that letting go

into the depths of silence

I may find myself held by you

and linked anew to all life

in this wild and wondrous world

you love so much,

so I may take to heart

that you have taken me to heart.

Amen

-Ted Loder

Here is a prayer that speaks to me this morning.