Monday, August 31, 2020

Summer Reflection


 I begin this day in the prayer room listening to the "Pray as you go" app and pondering the summer that is ending.  It has been very good in so many ways.  I list in my journal much of it:

 - the Bible studies and the preaching on Matthew.  All of which have caused me to really deepen my faith in Jesus and face the the challenge of really being a disciple and picking up the cross of love.   And what does it mean in the midst of this political season.  My answer has become to focus FIRST on Jesus.  And then maybe I will not be consumed with judgment, anger, anxiety, etc.

- the time spent with Teresa of Avila - both through a podcast and through the book The Interior Castle.  I have spent more time in tears of recognition through this time and have just felt blessed by it all.  I feel gratefully humble.  I am still working my way through the book stopping and pondering throughout the wisdom she offers.  The encouragement for me is that there is always something MORE for God to give and God to reveal. Here is a quote from the book to chew on:

          God enters the center of the soul without any door, like Christ did when he came to the disciples and said, Pax Vobis (peace be with you) and when he left the tomb without rolling away the boulder.

        Oh, friends! There is so much that we will see as long as we do not desire to see more than our own limitations allow and we accept that we may not be ready to receive such a great Beloved and if we acknowledge that we are incapable of comprehending his wonders.

         May he forever be praised. Amen

- the redecoration of my home and the decision to stay here a few more years.  I am settled and comfortable and blessed beyond all deserving.  I have spent more time on my front and back porches than ever before.  And my TV viewing has really diminished.  Happy about that.

 - the gift of pickleball.  I write this with a sore arm and wonder how long I will be able to do it - but whatever - it has brought a lot of joy.  Last night Audrey and I played for an hour with John from church who is 71 and Karen in her 50's with Kay as our cheerleader.  It was just fun.  And to have opportunities that are "just fun" is so wonderful.  (plus I am more tan than ever before - and lost some weight)

- the time of racial reckoning in this country.  I did preach in the midst of it and found it to be more challenging than any sermon I have done because of my awareness of people's varied responses - to inequality, white privilege, protestors and rioters.  The awareness is that God is doing something here and there is more to learn.  My book group is reading a book on discussing racism and we are watching movies too.  What speaks to me the most is the awareness of how easy it is for white people to think we understand and to dismiss and diminish the problem.

-the gift of the beach.  I cannot overstate the blessing of being at the ocean and allowing the waves, the sky, the sand, the sun to just heal me.  I listened to some of the On Being podcast with a poet who said something to the effect that nature speaks without words.  And that really is it.  I had truly been longing to just BE at the beach and every morning I sat at the balcony and watched the waves and birds and people walking and just wrote and read and prayed.  And then joined them in my own solitary walks.  I had LONGED to have a time like this and I got it.  What a wonder full  way to end the summer.

- most of all this has been a summer of "I don't know."  I guess I am getting more and more comfortable with it.  I don't know how long this pandemic will last, I don't know whether the kids should go back to school,  I don't know what is happening politically and whether as a country we can ever reconcile,,  I don't know what is happening with the church without meeting in person.  I don't know.  I don't know.

The scripture given today was1 Corinthians 2: 1-5

When I came to you, brothers and sisters, I did not come proclaiming the mystery of God to you in lofty words or wisdom.  For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.  And I came to you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling.  My speech and my proclamation were not with plausible words of wisdom but with a demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that you faith might rest not on human wisdom but on the power of God.

I have to say as I look back on this summer I see and have experienced the power of God  as I live into the mystery. .  I am grateful and humbled. 

I am going to end this with a prayer I wrote this morning.

So God, loving Father, guiding Spirit

I come today seeking guidance in how I live into  the minutes and hours of my life today.

In how I engage people.  May I have love and compassion, curiosity and reverence

In how I live with myself . May I be open to your spirit and aware of your presence.   Give me your peace within my soul and an abiding love for you, for life, for others, for self.

You have power, I give myself today.  Amen

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