The New Normal

Is Margot the caretaker and this is definitely not normal.

Chuck has always done his "Chuck thing" and I have done mine.  It was only in the past year that I started going to his doctor appointments with him because he had so much trouble hearing the doctor and was often spotty afterward remembering exactly what the doctor said.  So, that was a beginning of a new role.

But now that he is home from the hospital, he is primarily in my care and I am engaging in new behaviors that are decidedly different for me.

Now I  have sorted his pills into the cases and know what each are for and sit with him as he takes his morning med, his evening meds and his sleeping pills.  And the new normal - thank God not forever, but for 28 days - is that I give him a pill at 7 PM every night that is a blood thinner.  I still feel anxious about it and make him lie on the bed as I dutifully try to do what the nurse taught me in the hospital.  He always winces and complains about the heat.  Ouch!

The new normal is Chuck needs to do exercises that he can get off the walker.  And I am his cheerleader as together we do leg lifts and I follow him around the house.

The new normal is a physical therapist that comes twice a week, an occupational therapist and a nurse.  So I manage appointments and try to encourage them to come through the garage so they don't disturb the sleeping Audrey.

The new normal is he makes the shopping list and I do the shopping and then all the food preparation. Trying to keep his hot food hot and his cold food cold.

I remain optimistic that time, medications and exercise will lead to his healing and his eventual independence. There is no question that underneath is the worry that he may be - in the end - weaker and more dependent.  I am  hopeful.however.

My faith is strong and I have glimpses of God in some way saying to me: "I've got your back."  This morning I had two concerns - one about me  and one about Chuck. I have a  responsibility as co -  spiritual director to the board of the spirituality network.  We have a meeting tomorrow and with Jackie Dean we needed to have an opening devotional and closing prayer.  I texted her and said I wondered if I would be able to stay for the meeting and she texted back immediately that she had prepared a meditation.  The relief I felt was palpable as I remembered again it is never all up to me.  I can count on friends, family, and others as I let go and trust.

I also have some questions about Chuck's health and wondered who I should call.  And then the phone rang - it was a nurse saying she would be visiting this afternnoon.  And all will be well.
All will be well.
YES