Wednesday morning prayer time

I start this day spending time with "the monk" as Bill Brown says at Bible study. He expresses his frustration with this writer of "The Cloud of Unknowing." And I just continue to struggle - not with him as much as with myself. And I guess that is part of what this "retreat" has been all about.

We are in day 25 of 30 in an email prayer retreat based on "The Cloud of Unknowing." written by a monk to his young priest in training. And it is pretty amazing to consider that he continues to teach and grow us - hundreds of years later.

Here are some quotes from the readings
- "Let a need to love replace a need to understand."

"only love can pierce the darkness"

"follow the humble stirring of love in your heart."

What is ironic about this for me is that these readings about not knowing - actually help my understanding. Today the reading was about loving God for God and not for his gifts. We can worship the created and the creature and fail to live in the creator. We can come to God for what God does for us - and miss the mystery of the more of God.
And yet, and yet, and yet - as I concurrently preach a sermon series on the 7 deadly sins and just live this life of facing my own humanity and mortality - I very much need what God has for me. the gifts.

And this morning I write this prayer

My God, I thank you for this day in all its
wonder
beauty
possibility
ordinariness

I thank you for the way you stretch me
forgive me encourage me use me

Lord it is so hard to be fully human
open to and aware of my sin
open to and aware of needs of others

And I know I cannot do it unless I am open to and aware of
your presence
your on going creation
your never ending grace

So I want to and need to rest in the cloud of unkowing
living in a sense of expansiveness
wonder
love

May it be so today

Amen