Why I Go to Church

(This is what I wrote for my Readers and Writers Group that meets monthly.  It is similar to my last post.)  

 

It is a new year and I always enter into the idea of newness and starting over and beginning again. I have my resolutions for this year:

1.      Read Daily

2.      Write Daily

3.      Play a game with John (or someone) every day

At the same time I have an awareness of the both the mystery of the unknown and the predictable routines of ordinary life.  It’s a new year and yet I am getting older and more forgetful and living with fatigue.  It’s a new year and yet I will still have chemo every three weeks, it’s a new year and I will still have my blood tested regularly and wait in suspense as the effectiveness of the chemo versus cancer will be revealed. These  mundane realities can certainly overshadow any thought about mystery and miracles and even joy.

But then what breaks the cycle of what I will call faux optimism is what happens to me at church.  I heard words in the opening prayer that stirred something in my soul:

Open us to a new awakening, a new beginning,

Where we look through the lens of the goodness of your creation,

Experiencing all possibilities in You

Turn us away from the negative lens and lead us to the light…”

And then I heard the sermon that broke me open.  Rev. Becky  spoke about how God is always communicating with us – not only in church but also in nature.  Not a new idea and certainly I could have preached it myself.  But this morning I heard her talk about the stars that the Wise men/astrologers were seeking and she spoke of that GPS we have within us seeking something.  And that there is God doing something new with us – bringing light into the darkest places. Bringing change, healing, and love.    And we need to   come and see.

So I came away from the service with a sense of expectancy. God is potentially doing something new – with me, with you, and with everyone.

And so I added a fourth resolution.  Come and see that I am here with you making all things new.   Every Day

HAPPY NEW YEAR

A New Beginning

The prayer of invocation at church today:

 

Almighty God

Your Spirit swept over the waters of creation;

Call us away from the distractions of the world.

to experience what You are doing now, in us, and through us, and in our world.

Open us to a new awakening, a new beginning.

where we look through the lens of the goodness of Your creation

experience all possibilities in YOU

Turn us away from the negative lens and lead us to the light

In the name of Jesus, who leads us into life, we pray.

Amen

There is something about the new year that gives me hope.  I recognize how my faith is so tied to my resilience.  Because I do believe that God comes and comes and comes and comes into our lives and brings something new.  And when God comes God brings light that helps us see - how loved we are,the needs around us, and the evil that is always present as well.  God comes and can bring change to us and through us.

We have been caught in a mire of hospital appointments for the last three months.  John has completed his last radiation after 20 days and now starts with weekly infusions.  The first one was Wednesday,  It took over six hours and he had a reaction at home afterward.  Our New Years Eve was very quiet - except for the groans about the Buckeyes losing to Miami.   

And so I trust in the new beginning that turning the page on 2025 can bring.  I have three "resolutions" this year.  1. I want to read every day

                 2. I want to write every day

                 3. I want to play a game with John  - and others, I hope - every day.

I started the year finished The Correspondent which was wonderful.  It was well written and touched on themes of guilt, grace, love, marriage, aging and friendship.  I could feel myself going deeper into my own feelings as the book revealed the life of Sybil, who communicated with hand written letters.  It made me want to write more by hand, but I am so much faster on the computer.  AND my neuropathy causes issues and pain if I write for longer than ten minutes.  Now I am reading The Widow by John Grisham - not nearly as deep  but a fun page turner.  I have kept it up for 4 days so far and it has already made a subtle difference in me - a sense of peace and almost wonder.  

I used to write daily to my friend Susan in Arizona and I have really fallen away from the practice.  I was writing once a week if that. (Susan was my college roommate over 50 years ago) Over 10 years ago we went to a workshop with Julia Cameron who wrote The Artist's Way. She encouraged us to write morning pages as " three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing,done first thing in the morning" For us these are our daily musings on the events of our lives, communities and the world. Often it is a time to "vomit" out what is happening in the messiness and the marvel of life.  Anyway, I am back to the daily practice and discovering how important it is to remember, review, reflect and write - on a daily basis.

Finally I am just a great believer in playing games together.  I play my solo games - wordle, spelling bee, word blossom and betweenie and they wake my brain up.  But playing a game with another really does connect you and enables  communication.  I have had my best conversations with daughters and grandkids around a game table.  Also, I can't remember a time when I played a game and didn't laugh. So this resolution for 2026 - to play games daily with John and more with others is good for my soul. 

So this year begins with questions about the future which will be answered eventually.  In the meantime, I plan to read more, write daily, and play games more AND be on the lookout for the ways God is revealing Godself to me.

 

End with a Poem by Mary Oliver

 

"Every morning
the world
is created.
Under the orange
sticks of the sun
the heaped
ashes of the night
turn into leaves again"