A Word about Prayer

First, the headline: I've had my 3rd chemo and it was the best one yet.  They now know that I am allergic to taxol and benedryl.  So the chemo is given slowly and they found a substitute for the benedyl and all was well.  I had Audrey stop by halfway through the 5 hours which was a nice break for me and John.  All is well.

I really have learned alot about prayer through this cancer journey. 

First, I learned that there are times when I am so shook up that I can't pray.  I took about a month for me to settle down and come to terms with the new reality - I have cancer, I will have chemo, I will lose my hair, and have surgery.  Lots of loss of control in this.  During that time I was deeply grateful for the many ways in which people let me know that they were praying for me - church prayer chains, texts, cards, and calls.  I was held by the prayers of others.

John and I are back to praying together outside.  We often do the pray as you go app.  I adds two components which are life giving for me.  One is scripture which can remind me of God's presence, love and power. I sort of journal and often just write phrases like this one from the book of James: "generous act of giving from above."  I know that God only wants to give us (me!) healing, strength, grace. Generously. 

The other gift is to be outside.  Someone said that God's first language is nature and truly it does speak to me.  The movement of water and wind, the leaves starting to change color, the sounds of the birds that come and go.  It is beautiful and always changing.  

Before my last two chemo treatments I was blessed to have Kim Veatch come over and do reiki.  It was so wonderful for me.  I have been doing reiki for 24 years and there is no wondering about what she is doing.  It is a sacred time with music, touch and sacred silence.  I spend the whole time open and praying and listening.  This time I heard "Let it go" and surely that is what this is all about.  Let go of fear and trust.  Let go of cancer - shrink and flow away!

We had two friends pray for us on Sunday and it was a powerful experience for both me and John. I was anointed and heard words that assured me of God's love flowing into me and through me.  It was such a gift to me.

So, here I am.  I now know that the surgery will be October 1st and I feel ready for this next important step.  I do hope that people will pray for me during that day. And actually before for strength and trust. I know that prayer has truly sustained me through this time.