Your body wants to heal

I am quoting my friend Susan as she recounted her experience of having a hysterectomy some twenty years ago.  Those are such comforting words that I cling to.  My body wants to heal and my God is real and loving me and wanting to bring healing.

This journey is one of remembering what I think I believe.  Because the demons of hopelessness and despair are always just around the corner.  

I went to a luncheon at the James on Friday with Marnie.  The speaker had recovered from cervical cancer and inspired us with the knowledge that it truly can be eliminated with screening and vaccines.  I also met a woman who had recovered from both lung and breast cancer.  She was vital and alive - in fact she recounted how she had ridden in the Pelatonia seven weeks after her surgery.  "Only" 25 miles.  Any time I meet someone "on the other side" of cancer, I remember that your body wants to heal and God is always present loving and healing everyone. Even and especially me.

The night before I attended a zoom support group for those who have my cancer and it was less inspiring but still very helpful.  We had a representative talk about palliative care and hospice which was sobering to say the least.  At the same time, I asked questions about my upcoming surgery and was given some very practical advice - what to eat afterwards, what to realistically expect in the recovery time.  This group reminds me that this is a tough journey for all of us and we just keep going, learn what to do, make good choices,  and trust the process.  One of the images that has always been important to me was of a plant.  I believe that too often we keep picking up the plant and checking the roots to see if it is growing - which gets in the way of the growth.  Instead, I need to just trust that in the midst of the pain and worry and anxiety about neuropathy and surgery and yes, losing my hair - something is happening underground in the dark to bring about the shrinking and removal of this cancer.

Today is a crash day - feeling achy and fluey and wondering how to spend the day.  These next two days are just times of "getting through" until miraculously I will probably wake up and feel fine again for a couple of weeks.  Up and down, hope and fear,  but ultimately deep faith that my body does want to heal and God is with me.