Telling my story

I sit down to write this blog again this morning after reading some of Anne Lamotte's book Almost Everything: Notes on Hope.  And I was reading about writing.

When anybody is going through anything - good or bad - my response is frequently: are you writing about it?  I have found writing to be the most helpful way of getting through and understanding (as much as we ever understand) the events of my life  or "my story."

Writing provides a record for me of what has happened.  What I learn over and over again is how many times I have forgotten events and incidents in my life.  And I forget how I felt at the time and how things have changed.  Because everything does change - often slowly and imperceptibly but it does.

I also write to remember what I have read.  That is what this blog is for me often.  That is why I include quotes and poems and prayers - so I don't lose them.  Here is a quote from the book I want to remember:

The universe is usually telling us the same story, that our lives are rich and fluid and infinitely mysterious; that we only thought we were stuck, that nothing stays the same for long."

Writing is a release for me - for my emotions  - and at the same time a place for reflection and having distance to look at what has happened.

I write first - often - in my journal. Then I synthesize it and put it here so I will have a record.

Here is a quote by Wendell Berry that I like:
"Be joyful though you have considered all the facts."

I like that and I am finding myself feeling more joyful as I rest here in Southport.  The facts that are difficult for me right now are  are these:  Chuck is gone and I miss him.  AND  I am going to be seventy in three months.
I consider these facts and they are both hard for me and at the same time I know this - that I will not be stuck in sorrow and sadness.  Grief and aging are real but so is comfort and healing and new life.

So, I sit here on a sunny Friday morning and soon will be walking the beach with my very loving brother and sister in law - Geoff and Vicky.  And I know that slowly the love that I experience here is healing my broken heart.  And preparing me to go home to the life that is ahead for me.

As I sit with God my prayer is:  Breathe in Love.
And  I remember :  Love heals.  I can find joy today.