Living in Limbo

 As usual I am waiting.

Right now I am waiting to find out if I need to be hospitalized.  I have had high blood pressure and it is possible it has affected my kidney.  I may need a biopsy but because of my blood pressure, it will need to be done in the hospital after they get it under control  

At the same time I am really looking forward to seeing my whole family on the 4th of July.  The girls are coming here and we will have boat rides and play games and have dinner together.  I am especially looking forward to seeing Alyse and her new man - as we all are.  So..... hope it happens.

Next week I take a blood test and find out if the current chemo is helping to bring down my cancer numbers.  I also find out if  my eyes have been affected by this chemo.  I also will receive another infusion of chemo.  I hope all of this happens. 

So now I wait. 

This journey has been one of waiting and understanding that much of what is happening to me is out of my control. I am living in limbo.

I just finished reading a novel by Ann Cleves which is a "Vera" mystery.  I find these to be very satisfying to read in the meantime.  There is a problem to be solved and it IS solved.  And there are good people who are working together the betterment of humanity.  And it can take me away from the here and now until I find out what is really going to happen and what is really going on.

In the meantime I live in gratitude for the gift of the care I am receiving and the myriad blessings of my life.  And read and watch TV and play pickleball and live.