Two months after I retired – ten years ago – I purchased in a Phoenix gift shop a tag that hangs on my rear view mirror. It says “Do more of what makes you happy.” That has really been my mantra ever since I retired.
Now that I have cancer I am more aware that finding joy in life matters greatly. Joseph Campbell wrote: “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.”
I have found that joy is personal and everyone has their own happy places. This weekend I met Alyse’s boyfriend Kyle who talked about how much he loves bees. And I know my son in law Brett finds his joy riding miles and miles on a bike. And I watch my husband John and his joy is often found in Accomplishment – getting something done. None of these would be on my top ten list.
As I reflect on myself I have learned that some things that give me joy are new and some things have been constant throughout my life. These are my top ten now.
1. 1. ------- Finding a good book that I can get lost in. Finding myself thinking about the characters and wondering what is happening next
2. 2. -------- Sitting outside with John and looking a Hoover Reservoir and staying long enough to watch the water move and make designs on the surface, the birds come and go, and the clouds change. We use the Merlin app and record the birds that we hear but often don’t see.
3. 3. -------- Sitting at a table playing cards with my family. Shuffling and dealing and bantering. I especially like to play speed games like taco, cat, goat, cheese, pizza or pounce. But I can’t play these too long or I will need a valium
4. 4.---------- Watching Seinfeld or the Office and something silly like the Naked Gun. I get to laugh out loud, My latest guilty pleasure is watching America’s Home Videos. There is something about watching people falling and getting hit in the head that really makes me laugh out loud.
5. 5-------. Playing pickleball – it is not just exercise. It is constant thinking about the next shot and not thinking about problems or illness or Donald Trump
6. 6. ------- Singing! I like to sing at church and with other people and alone. I like to sing camp songs, hymns, the old Standards like Frank Sinatra, folk songs.
7. 7. -------Cooking! I like making hello fresh meals because the ingredients are there and the directions are clear and I have a finished product I want to eat. I also like trying new recipes. I recently made Bruschetta for the first time and enjoyed toasting the bread and preparing the tomatoes ahead and then putting it together – bread tomatoes cheese balsamic dressing. Yum, This is a new joy after 25 years of Chuck cooking for me – who knew how much I would enjoy this?
8. 8.------- Preparing for company. I like planning the food, making up games to play, straightening the house, setting the table and the wonderful gift of anticipation.
9. 9.------- Going to the movies. I like to get there early and see the movie trivia and especially the previews. Then the lights dim and larger than life a movie to get enjoy
10. 10.-------Writing – I don’t like to do it but I like the process and the result. I write to process my life and frequently I am surprised at what emerges from an hour at the computer.
This morning one of the women in my cancer support group shared this on our Whats App text chain
Joy doesn’t cancel out the heavy things – but it gives you different pockets of strength to carry on. Let it in wherever you can.
We have a lot of heavy things to carry these days but there are large and small joys that lighten the load.
What are your top ten?
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