My new normal

 For the next two weeks John is at Dodd Hall receiving intensive therapy following his fall.  I am living alone in the house and it is very different for me.

He was at the brain and spine hospital for eleven days.  After I recovered from the flu I was spending 4 to 6 hours a day with him there.  It was physically and emotionally exhausting for me (and also for him!) as we lived through the questions of what next?  How much damage did the fall do? Where will he go now?We were blessed to be accepted into the program at Dodd and already he is feeling stronger and developing strategies for coming home next week.  I am very hopeful. 

He has therapy until two o clock in the afternoon and then I come to visit.  This is a manageable schedule for me and I finally am getting rested.  My surgery has been postponed until February 11th or the 13th which enables us to figure out how we are going to make this work.  One problem is that John will not be cleared for driving right away and after surgery I will not be able to drive.  I know that friends and family and Uber will help.  This is one more "lesson" in dependence which is hard for us.  What I know is that the answers will come in due time.

In the meantime my doctor told me I should get stronger for my surgery and I am determined.  Yesterday I played pickleball for the first time in over a month.  I am blessed by my group that has been so kind to me throughout this cancer journey.  I felt nervous about playing but it all does come back and while I have less energy - I know this is a healing place for me. Body, mind, and soul.  I plan to play three times a week until the surgery.

Because John is at Dodd, I have been given time to play pickleball, and to pray and to read and to clean the house.  There is a strangeness and a loneliness to living in the house without John.  And surely he is lonely in a hospital.  Yesterday I texted him a picture of the sunset over Hoover - with the words "We will get our life back."

Yet, I welcome  a definite  schedule and for these next two weeks I feel a sense of peace.  John is where he needs to be and I am where I need to be.  And God is holding us and healing us.