O Holy Night

I start this day with an amazing surprise - a fedex truck comes and a package is delivered in the early morning hours.  It is a picture from my dear friend Judy.

She knows me so well - that this image of Mary and baby Jesus is central to my faith and to my own identity.  I have in my home many depictions of mother and child. And it speaks to me on so many levels - I am the mother who cares for children, grandchildren, and others.  I am a beloved child of God loved by God in all my vulnerability.  And, of course, Jesus has come to be with us and show us a new way of living - bringing love, freedom and peace. All of that and more.  

So I begin with this beautiful icon and reflect also on the gift of friendship.  I have been blessed with friends from years ago as well as new friends who are part of my life today.  Grateful for Judy and so many other people who have loved me and companioned me throughout my sometimes messy and often beautiful life.  Some have been there for a season and others stay for decades.  What a gift.  What a blessing.

And I listen to "Pray as you Go" and the song "O Holy Night."  O Night Divine.  I think back to that holy, divine night three years ago when Chuck left me and went to be with God.  It is an indelible memory of sitting with him in a dark room and then knowing that his breathing was changing, holding his hand and praying and then his letting go and leaving.  It was holy.  And hard and sad. And time.

And now three years later, I remember and know that all will be well.  My life continues and God is faithful to me as I seek to live a full life without Chuck. I will go to church today and have Christmas Eve with Audrey and Christmas morning with a table full of friends and family and celebrate that God is good and life goes on in wonder and mystery and love.

Merry Christmas to all who read this blog

Here is a prayer by Ted Loder

 

I Am Silent…and Expectant

How silently,
how silently
the wondrous gift is given.

I would be silent now,
Lord,
and expectant…
that I may receive
the gift I need,
so I may become
the gift others need