It is Sunday and soon I will drive to Gender Road Christian Church for the one service that we have today. It seems like I was just there - and I was - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My car just naturally knows the way at this point.
Church has really been the constant for my whole life. I have early memories of attending Presbyterian Churches in West Chester Pa, Tulsa OK, Birmingham Mich. At every church - because my parents were active and I had my brothers and sisters - I always had a sense of belonging. That was the place where I was accepted and allowed to use many of my gifts - not always school - but always in church.
I know that churches can disappoint and hurt people. There are churches that have theology that is - in my mind damaging - mysoginistic, homophobic, perfectionistic, judgmental, I know that we can engage "insider, outsider" behavior and it is almost appalling how much damage a couple of unfriendly or unhealthy persons can do to a church. At the same time, when churches are healthy and leaders are faithful and loving, a church can truly be a place of healing and belonging.
We had three Christmas Eve services which were all different. And I got to enjoy and appreciate the choirs, the various singers and different people who attended. At Christmas Eve, I appreciate the story of the birth of Jesus and the symbols at the end of lighting the candles in the dark. It says more that all our words will say - about love conquering hate and light overtaking the darkness.
I have been at this church for over two years and know many of the stories of people in the congregation. The choir sings and I am aware of who is struggling with illness. who has lost children, who has issues with dementia, etc etc. And they come together - WE come together - with our struggles and our stories and join in singing of and sharing love. Because the bottom line is always going be - it is all about love.
The love, of course, begins with God who created us out of love and gives us the commandment to love. God loves us first and then we are blessed to share it - and learn that is the best life we can ever have. Christmas is a holiday that can be all about love and giving and sometimes our unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others get in the way.
I keep learning that love is not about expectation - it is about wonder, mystery and vulnerability. It is about giving with no expectation and receiving with deep gratitude. But boy it can be hard to live in that place of openness and almost emptiness.
So, I go to church today and hopefully will get centered again. And see examples of self giving love - not just spoken but embodied in this congregation where people genuinely care for one another. It says in the Bible - Love covers a multitude of sins. I have found that to be true.
Here is a prayer by Richard Rohr
Loving God, we love how you love us. We love how you free us. We love what you have given and created to surround us. Help us to recognize, and to rejoice in, what has been given, even in the midst of what is not given. Help us not to doubt all that you have given us, even when we feel our very real shortcomings. We thank you for the promise and sign of your love in the Eternally Risen Christ, pervading all things in the universe, unbound by any of our categories of logic or theology. We offer you ourselves back in return. We offer you our bodies, our little lives, our racing minds and restless hearts into this one wondrous circle of Love that is You. My life is no longer just about me, but it is all about you. AMEN |
No comments:
Post a Comment