New Years Eve

For me this is a time for reflection. 

 But then every day is a time for reflection.  In the morning I tend to sit and ponder the events of the day before and look for the love, light and grace that I experienced in the previous day.  And I always find something that often brings me to tears. Daily reflection really is a gift we give ourselves.

But on New Years Eve we get to look back on a year in wonder and amazement.  There are lots of articles and TV shows that are reminding us of what we have collectively been through - the insurrection on Jan 6, the continuing Covid crisis, the trials, the miracle of vaccines, the frustration of the division over vaccines.  On and on.

I reflect on my life and the gifts of this year - new friends, pickleball, life at Gender Road, my family, life on White Pine Court with neighbors, getting vaccines, having minor surgery, doing spiritual direction, vacations with family and friends, now having a roommate.  What I see overall is blessing upon blessing. And I have a sense of awe understanding that my life - like all of us - unfolds.  Last year at this time, much of what has transpired since, was not at all in my plans. Instead, there was an invitation and I said - YES. And now I sit in gratitude and awe.

So looking ahead to 2022 I live in anticipation of what new blessings and opportunities for love and service God will give to me. I know I have posted this prayer before on this blog - but it seems fitting for this morning. 

 

Prayer of Teilhard de Chardin

Patient Trust

Above all, trust in the slow work of God.
We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.
We should like to skip the intermediate stages.
We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.

And yet it is the law of all progress
that it is made by passing through some stages of instability—
and that it may take a very long time.

And so I think it is with you;
your ideas mature gradually—let them grow,
let them shape themselves, without undue haste.
Don’t try to force them on,
as though you could be today what time
(that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)
will make of you tomorrow.

Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.

Anna

In the "Pray as you go" app today the lesson was from Luke and the story of Anna.  She was a widow who spent years in the temple praising God and saw Jesus and knew he was the long awaited Messiah

 She never left the temple but worshiped there with fasting and prayer night and day. ³⁸ At that moment she came, and began to praise God and to speak about the child^[k] to all who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.

  It is a picture of fulfillment of a life and just plain praising God.

I wrote this in my journal that described her experience:  " My eyes have seen joy beyond belief.  I've seen the Messiah...the Kingdom of God has come"

Then the narrator asked us to ponder the "Anna" figures in our life.  I continue to be blessed by the older members of Gender Road Christian Church.  It is a good thing to live a life of praising God and trusting God.  So I am grateful to Betty, Shirley, Joanne, Tim, Kay, Charles and so many who are older than me and show the way to find peace and joy in a broken world and a sometimes challenging life.

I am working on my sermon for the 9th of January which is always a blessing - because I find myself thinking a lot about  "the abundant life".  It is psychologically a good thing - we are told - to live out of an "abundant mindset."  You are what you think and if you are looking for the blessings, you will find them.  I do believe that.  I also believe it is more than a psychological thing - it is spiritual and that God is the source of the blessings, the love and the grace.

It is in watching the Anna's of my life that I know I am becoming an Anna myself.  I am not staying in the temple praying and fasting night and day.  But I am living  - more and more - with my antenna sensitive to the activity of God that might remind me that the kingdom of God is near..I think that is called praying.

Here is Mary Oliver's poem called "Prayer"

Praying

by Mary Oliver

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

In the Midst of Everything

God is.  In the MIDST of EVERYTHING

That comes to me this morning during my morning prayer.  I begin the time reflecting on the past day that had times of peace and love and joy in my personal life.  I start to consider the sermon I will preach on the 9th of January and think about the power of Jesus to change our lives and the abundant life with God. 

And then I listen to "Pray as you go" which is also the scripture we will talk about tomorrow in our Bible study.  Matthew 2 contains the story of the wise men who go to see Jesus and on the way encounter Herod.  He urges them to return and tell him where the baby is so that he can worship him.  They are warned in a dream to go home a different way and he - in anger and fear - kills every baby in and near Bethlehem two years of age and under.  It is a story of evil, corruption, and greed.  It is in every way horrific.

And this plaintive text: 

 A voice was heard in Ramah,
    wailing and loud lamentation,
Rachel weeping for her children;
    she refused to be consoled, because they are no more

 

 I sit and ponder the - for me - unimaginable grief at the death of children. Knowing that tomorrow in our conversation about this text, there will be people there who know that grief intimately.  And that children die - from covid, from gunshots, from poverty, from abuse -  daily.  We may not hear it, but there are voices heard by God - wailing, loud lamentation, weeping.

I have no answers or wisdom to the reality of evil in the world - it is and and always has been. I cherish the Lord's prayer because it names it for us all - lead us not into temptation, deliver us from evil.

My only consolation is the belief that God is in the midst of it all - hearing us in our pain and bringing us others to companion us through the valley of the shadow of death.  And for those children - those innocent children - there is another life with God after this. 

As I was walking downstairs to the computer this morning I found myself humming a hymn.  That clearly speaks to me this morning. Here are the words:

I need Thee every hour
Most gracious Lord
No tender voice like Thine
Can peace afford

I need Thee every hour
Stay Thou nearby
Temptations lose their power
When Thou art nigh

I need Thee every hour
In joy or pain
Come quickly and abide
Or life is vain

I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee

 

 

All you need is love

It is Sunday and soon I will drive to Gender Road Christian Church for the one service that we have today. It seems like I was just there - and I was - Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.  My car just naturally knows the way at this point.  

Church has really been the constant for my whole life.  I have early memories of attending Presbyterian Churches in West Chester Pa, Tulsa OK, Birmingham Mich.  At every church - because my parents were active and I had my brothers and sisters - I always had a sense of belonging.  That was the place where I was accepted and allowed to use many of my gifts - not always school - but always  in church.

I know that churches can disappoint and hurt people. There are churches that have theology that is - in my mind damaging - mysoginistic, homophobic, perfectionistic, judgmental,  I know that we can engage "insider, outsider" behavior and it is almost appalling how much damage a couple of  unfriendly or unhealthy persons can do to a church.  At the same time, when churches are healthy and leaders are faithful and loving, a church can truly be a place of healing and belonging. 

We had three Christmas Eve services which were all different.  And I got to enjoy and appreciate the choirs, the various singers and different people who attended.  At  Christmas Eve, I appreciate the story of the birth of Jesus and the symbols at the end of lighting the candles in the dark.  It says more that all our words will say - about love conquering hate and light overtaking the darkness.  

I have been at this church for over two years and know many of the stories of people in the congregation.  The choir sings and I am aware of who is struggling with illness. who has lost children, who has issues with dementia, etc etc.  And they come together - WE come together - with our struggles and our stories and join in singing of and sharing love.  Because the bottom line is always going be - it is all about love.  

The love, of course, begins with God who created us out of love and gives us the commandment to love.  God loves us first and then we are blessed to share it - and learn that is the best life we can ever have. Christmas is a holiday that can be all about love and giving and sometimes our unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others get in the way.  

I keep learning that love is not about expectation - it is about wonder, mystery and vulnerability.  It is about giving with no expectation and receiving with deep gratitude. But boy it can be hard to live in that place of openness and almost emptiness.

So, I go to church today and hopefully will get centered again.  And see examples of self giving love - not just spoken but embodied in this congregation where people genuinely care for one another.  It says in the Bible - Love covers a multitude of sins.  I have found that to be true.

Here is a prayer by Richard Rohr

 

Loving God, we love how you love us.  We love how you free us.  We love what you have given and created to surround us.  Help us to recognize, and to rejoice in,  what has been given, even in the midst of what is not given.  Help us not to doubt all that you have given us,  even when we feel our very real shortcomings.  We thank you for the promise and sign of your love  in the Eternally Risen Christ,  pervading all things in the universe,  unbound by any of our categories of logic or theology. We offer you ourselves back in return.  We offer you our bodies, our little lives,  our racing minds and restless hearts  into this one wondrous circle of Love that is You.  My life is no longer just about me, but it is all about you. AMEN

 

 

O Holy Night

I start this day with an amazing surprise - a fedex truck comes and a package is delivered in the early morning hours.  It is a picture from my dear friend Judy.

She knows me so well - that this image of Mary and baby Jesus is central to my faith and to my own identity.  I have in my home many depictions of mother and child. And it speaks to me on so many levels - I am the mother who cares for children, grandchildren, and others.  I am a beloved child of God loved by God in all my vulnerability.  And, of course, Jesus has come to be with us and show us a new way of living - bringing love, freedom and peace. All of that and more.  

So I begin with this beautiful icon and reflect also on the gift of friendship.  I have been blessed with friends from years ago as well as new friends who are part of my life today.  Grateful for Judy and so many other people who have loved me and companioned me throughout my sometimes messy and often beautiful life.  Some have been there for a season and others stay for decades.  What a gift.  What a blessing.

And I listen to "Pray as you Go" and the song "O Holy Night."  O Night Divine.  I think back to that holy, divine night three years ago when Chuck left me and went to be with God.  It is an indelible memory of sitting with him in a dark room and then knowing that his breathing was changing, holding his hand and praying and then his letting go and leaving.  It was holy.  And hard and sad. And time.

And now three years later, I remember and know that all will be well.  My life continues and God is faithful to me as I seek to live a full life without Chuck. I will go to church today and have Christmas Eve with Audrey and Christmas morning with a table full of friends and family and celebrate that God is good and life goes on in wonder and mystery and love.

Merry Christmas to all who read this blog

Here is a prayer by Ted Loder

 

I Am Silent…and Expectant

How silently,
how silently
the wondrous gift is given.

I would be silent now,
Lord,
and expectant…
that I may receive
the gift I need,
so I may become
the gift others need

 

Advent Worship

I am again serving as a "Regional Elder" for District 5 in our region.  This means that I have a  supportive relationship with the pastors and the church from that area that includes Bellfontaine, Ada, Lima, Findlay.  Sunday I drove to Toledo for family Christmas with Lisa (my stepdaughter) and her kids.  On the way I stopped and worshiped at First Christian Church in Findlay to be present in my new role.

Twenty five years ago, when I served as pastor at First Christian Church in Bowling Green,  I had occasions to visit the church in Findlay.  At that time the church was  a  brick  building with large white pillars   on Main street.   It was an impressive and formidable  building.. I had the impression that it was a large and thriving church.  That was then.

Over the years there have been different pastors, some church conflict, cultural changes and the congregation  got smaller and smaller. The costs of the maintenance of the building were more and more daunting.  About 6 years ago they made the decision to sell the building and move the church to a smaller venue.  I remember worshiping there in one of their last Sundays in the old building  with Chuck.  He told me afterward, tearing up, that he saw visions of all the people who used to sit in those now mostly empty pews. They were able to sell the building and then have enough money to fund a full time minister.

 They are now  located in what looks like an office building in a commercial part of the city.  I think they rent a few rooms. That first minister has left and now they have a new minister  who was installed a month ago. He combines this now part time position with work at a charter school.

I walked into the "sanctuary" which is a large rectangular room.  I see a large communion table in the center of the room with a piano on the left and a pulpit on the right.  There is a table set up with a beautiful white ceramic nativity  beside the pulpit.  Between the table and the piano is large Advent Candle.

There are about 50 chairs set up in rows and in the back of the room there are some comfortable looking couches.   I arrive fifteen minutes before the service is to begin and  about 8 people are scattered around the room and talking with the pastor in the front.  Two people are masked.  They are friendly and welcoming and give me a bulletin and a communion kit. I announce myself and sit in the second row.  I visit with the masked woman sitting behind me and we talk about church history.  She has been a member for 60 years, through all the changes. 

Then the pastor and I chat a bit and he introduces his 12 year old son who is sitting in front of me.  He has just moved to Findlay from Michigan.  This is a time of new beginnings for everyone.  Then it is time.

.  By now there are about twenty people in the space - everyone has been greeted and we gather as Christians.   And we worship. All of the  rituals of Advent worship are here:   Candles, Christmas carols, a sermon about Mary and the Annunciation. We receive communion together. For me, there is something comforting and profound about these rituals that define and unite us.   As we sing I experience the joy of  shared voices singing familiar songs.  

The pastor speaks about Mary saying YES to the angel and what a commitment that is.  God is breaking into the world in the coming of Jesus and Mary is a necessary part of the story.  He says that when God comes to us in Jesus - it is not for us to escape the world but  so that we can endure the ways of the world.  This speaks to my heart and to my soul.  

I usually worship at Gender Road Christian Church which has a praise band, a choir, a large and well cared for  building   We have coffee and donuts in the narthex and there are many more people in attendance than here in this out of the way space in Findlay Ohio.  It is a healthy church with faithful committed people.

And I wonder - is it possible that First Christian church in Findlay is also healthy with faithful committed people.   We  worshiped the living God this morning. .  We took an hour out of our lives to gather together and hear and express the good news of God who breaks into this world to  show us the way of love.  

As I sat there in Findlay I wondered what the future of this church will be.  Is it enough to have a loving and faithful pastor and a small band of committed congregants?  Is  it possible that God is  giving birth to a new body of Christ  here in Findlay? 

And as they say - as I frequently  say and mean - God only knows.  I just know that Jesus was born in a stable - not in a palace.  And the people who gathered around Jesus were  small in number and seemingly insignificant. They began a world changing and life altering movement that I am part of today as a follower of Jesus.

I also  know that I experienced God's presence in Findlay Ohio  on Sunday morning. My faith was strengthened because of the prayers, the preaching and the gathering of believers.  

And to quote the angel Gabriel: "For with God, nothing is impossible".

ADVENT BLESSING

May the ADVENT God be with you,

inviting you to an eager expectation of new life within you.

May you know hope,

may you know peace as you await the birth of what is yet to be in you.

May the life you embrace be a sharing in the god of life and incarnation among us.

may the ADVENT GOD BLESS YOU.

Joy

This is the week of JOY - the 3rd week of Advent.  We are going to have a service of prayer and reflection at church at noon today.  This is a reading that will be shared - I like it!

DON’T HESITATE

“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate.

Give in to it.

There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be.

We are not wise, and not very often kind.  And much can never be redeemed.

Still, life has some possibility left.

Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world.

It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.

Anyway, that’s often the case

. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty.

Joy is not made to be a crumb.”

By Mary Oliver

Vulnerability

Christmas is a season of vulnerability.  At least it is for me.

Three years ago I sat in my living room and watched the tree lights and the Christian and family and fun ornaments on the tree and trusted Emmanuel.  God was with me - as Chuck was not eating, and getting weaker and eventually dying.  For some reason I am more aware of that this year than last.  The grief comes and goes.

An electrician came today and now I have cameras on my driveway.  Crime is up and for other reasons it seems like it is time - for this old widow who lives alone - to have an idea of who is wandering around her yard.  Yes, if I think about it, I do feel vulnerable.

But there is more.  Always more.  I am preparing this afternoon for a Bible study of John 1: 1-18.  And it reminds us that Jesus was the light who came into the world

 

¹⁰He was in the world, and the world came into being through him; yet the world did not know him.

 ¹¹He came to what was his own, and his own people did not accept him.

 

He faced rejection.  He came as a vulnerable baby to an out of the way city of Bethlehem born in a stable in the reign of Herod.  It is a picture of vulnerability.  And we know the rest of the story. Teaching, miracles, cross, crucifixion and YES - resurrection.

And he came so that we might be born again into a new identity - as children of God.  

¹²But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God,

¹³who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.

That phrase is a phrase of one who is vulnerable - trusting in the unseen presence of God in the midst of the weak and defenseless places in our own lives.  We are called to love which will always make us vulnerable.  Who loves without - at some point - enduring times of suffering?

All of which sounds so sad and so heavy right now as I write this - but for me it is also true.  We are - as we seek to live as followers of Jesus - people who are aware of our vulnerablity.  We cannot control everything as much as we would like.  Instead we become people who pray and trust and love in his name.

All because LOVE was born at Christmas.  Love for us that calls us to love others.  To be vulnerable.

May you be blessed by the God of LOVE whose greatest desire is to be one with you.
May you draw close and know the thrill of God's beating heart against your own.
May this lover God be a listening presence in every word and thought and experience of your existence.
May the fire and passion of God's love for you move you to be 
a compassionate and loving presence to all you meet.
May the God of LOVE be with you.

Amen