Peregrinatio

I am participating in a 9 day retreat through "Abbey of the Arts" and a new word I learned yesterday was "Peregrinatio."


I looked it up on google to see if it was a real word and it is.  Here is the definition:
"leaving one's homeland and wandering for the love of God. " 

I am in day 5 of "sheltering at home" officially.  Last Thursday I saw my doctor who encouraged me to not put myself at risk - she said that this virus was coming and I needed to take it seriously.  So, I backed out of volunteering at St. Ann's Friday,  going to church Sunday and working the polls Tuesday.  Subsequently, all of these have been cancelled - the volunteer program is on hiatus, the church worship is only open to the few who are putting the service together, the voting did not even happen.  In addition, schools, restaurants, bars, gyms have all closed. .  Everything has  radically changed in a week.

Since Monday I have seen only my daughters in the flesh as they have dropped food off on me.  Is this a "Peregrinatio"  Have I left my homeland of busy activity for the love of God?  My decision to take seriously the dangers has been guided by my faith and  my understanding that I am important to God and need to care about my own health and find ways to serve as I live alone in my home.  And I have found more and more ways to connect and be helpful to others.

But it is a new journey and one without familiar markers.  This morning I listened to a song:
Here are the words
Setting out, no rudder, sails, nor oars
Trusting the current trusting the course
Peregrin
Our hearts are ready for the ride
Our hearts are ready for new life

So as I begin this day, I begin with an understanding that God is in this journey and I cannot know right now how long and where it is going to take me.  I dip in and out of the press conferences of both our Governer and our President.  Invariably the press keeps trying to nail them down to when medicines  and supplies will be available and how long this virus is going to be upending our lives.  And truly I know that no one knows.  We are on a journey here that is unprecedented and while it is important to have accountability, there is so much about this time that is full of not knowing.

But for me, staying in this home that will be mine longer than I had planned, is my Peregrinatio as I trust God to strengthen me and guide me.  The question of today during the retreat is this:
HOW DO I STAY PRESENT IN THE MIDST OF UNKNOWING AND DISCOMFORT?

As always I say this - I'm working on it.  My prayer is that  I might grow and serve during these very strange days.

Here is a wonderful Poem by Denise Levertov

As swimmers dare
to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit's deep
embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.