Today I have nothing on my calendar but writing a sermon called "Mary Pondered." Basically what I want to write about is the "After Christmas pondering and wondering about what God has done.
And the looking ahead to what this year with Jesus is going to bring.
So here I am doing it myself. Christmas was really perfect for me. Christmas Eve day I felt sad and at the Christmas Eve Eve service I really dipped down into the grief of the Holy Night from last year. It was the holy night of watching Chuck leave this earth. Holy.
And then Christmas Eve I read the familiar words of the nativity twice more at the service and then just entered into the fun of the season. I felt very loved and supported by my whole family. Christmas Eve dinner with having Erik make such a special meal meant everything to me.; And Christmas morning with the Powells was comfortable and just special.
Our movie on Christmas day was not the greatest - Uncut Gems with Adam Sandler. It was a nerve jangling ride and I kept thinking at the time - this is not a Christmas day movie. However, I find myself still thinking about it afterward.
Then last night was just so much fun with the kids all coming over. I planned it for 4:30 but Alyse and Kacey wanted to come over early and play games and I invited the others and all the girls were here by 4 and we were playing games and eating lots of food. We had our dinner and then got into the business of the gifts. The girls give each other such funny presents (like Kacey giving Marnie and Erik matching aprons with the picture of a bikinied woman on hers and a body builder on his)
I am going to an Office parody with Kacey, a young frankenstein play with Marnie and something called "Who lost my fucking hat?" with Audrey. The teeneagers all buy presents for each other and me and it is just plain heartwarming to watch their interest in each other and generosity. We all played Christmas charades and it was especially fun watching Maggie. Afterward Kacey, Alyse, Audrey., Jackson, Ephrata stayed and played games with me until 11 pm. They went home to go to Dayton tomorrow for another Christmas with their Aunt Pattie and the Connor side.
I am happily done.
I have been listening to Elizabeth Gilberts "City of Girls" for the last 4 days and just now finished it. It was a nice backdrop to this week. I think you read it - but it really was the story of an older woman who has come to peace about her life and her acceptance of the dark sides of self and others. I could identify with it and really enjoyed the story telling.
There have been such moments of joy this week and wonder at the gift of love in my life. I may not have a man who is a partner anymore - but I have so many people who care about me. It is all gift.
And when it is all said and done - as trite as it is - I come away pondering and wondering at the blessing of receiving and giving love. That is what this week has been.
Looking ahead to 2020 and what is next for m
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