Finally

I know that I wrote about JOY in my last post because I needed to be intentional about finding the joy.  I have really had nothing but bad news since my surgery in terms of my "numbers."  The CA 125 test reflects the amount of cancer activity.  It has been going up since the surgery.

I tried one chemo and every three weeks the numbers increased.  I have recently tried another and it went up after the first infusion 150 points.  I wondered why Dr. Backes was trying it again but I always trust my doctor.  And FINALLY there is hope.  The numbers went down yesterday!  100 points!

And all I can say is - what a difference a day makes.  I will be having my third infusion tomorrow and I hope the numbers go down even more in the next few weeks.  The side effect is that it can affect my vision but so far so good on that.  There is good news and I am grateful.

Meanwhile we wait to learn about how John is doing.  Today he is getting a pet scan after a diagnoses of B Cell Lymphoma after a pimple was removed by his dermatologist.  This is a scary diagnosis but there are various forms with differing levels of seriousness.  The good news is that he will have the Pet Scan and we will see the doctor an hour later.  After these weeks of waiting - that is a gift.  This is a journey of waiting for both of us.

This weekend Brett, my son in law, will be riding in the Pelatonia to raise money that goes exclusively to medical research.  He has so far raised $13,000 and his friend Mike who he is riding with has raised over $2,000.  It is all very impressive and meaningful to me.  Both John and I have been recipients of the latest medical research and we are grateful for their effort.

I saw a Psychic. I understand the skepticism but I also believe that some people have gifts.  Whether she does I don't know. I hold it all lightly.  However,   she told me that when she read my Tarot cards she saw "Abundance" and "Limitless Possibilities 

In the last few weeks,  I have  preached again with Audrey, vacationed  with the rest of the  family in Michigan, been invited to lead a Bible study in the fall, gotten good news about my cancer and have a son in law raising money and riding a bike in my honor.  I call all this ABUNDANCE. 

More joy

After my daughters read my last blog they sent me their personal examples of joy.  

 

One of them said

1. spending time with my kids

2. spending time with my mom

3. spending time with my sisters

4. going to a comedy club

5. finishing a project at work that's exciting

6.lifting weights

7. used to be running - now it is walking

8.cuddling with Oreo my dog

9. watching a listening to true crime stuff

10. I don't know I have to think about that

 

Another one said

1. listening to my kids talk to me

2.mystery books

3. Evermore and Folklore albums

4. Realty shows

5. TTPD album

6.Being with mom and sisters

7. planning trips

 

Anybody else want to share?

My email: ogram842@yahoo,com 

I’ve got the joy, joy joy joy down in my heart

 

 

Two months after I retired – ten years ago – I purchased in a Phoenix gift shop a tag that hangs on my rear view mirror.  It says “Do more of what makes you happy.”  That has really been my mantra ever since I retired.

Now that I have cancer I am more aware that finding joy in life matters greatly. Joseph Campbell wrote: “Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.”

I have found that joy is personal and everyone has their own happy places.  This weekend I met Alyse’s boyfriend Kyle who talked about how much he loves bees.  And I know my son in law Brett finds his joy riding miles and miles on a bike.  And I watch my husband John and his joy is often found in Accomplishment – getting something done.  None of these would be on my top ten list.

As I reflect on myself I have learned that some things that give me joy are new and some things have been constant throughout my life. These are my top ten now.

1.   1.   ------- Finding a good book that I can get lost in.  Finding myself thinking about the characters and wondering what is happening next

2.   2.   -------- Sitting outside with John and looking a Hoover Reservoir and staying long enough to watch the water move and make designs on the surface, the birds  come and go, and the clouds change.  We use the Merlin app and record the birds that we hear but often don’t see.

3.  3.    -------- Sitting at a table playing cards with my family.  Shuffling and dealing and bantering. I especially like to play speed games like taco, cat, goat, cheese, pizza or pounce.  But I can’t play these too long  or I will need a valium

4.     4.---------- Watching Seinfeld or the Office and something silly like the Naked Gun. I get to laugh out loud, My latest guilty pleasure is watching America’s Home Videos.  There is something about watching people falling and getting hit in the head that really makes me laugh out loud.

5.     5-------. Playing pickleball – it is not just exercise.  It is  constant thinking about the next shot and not thinking about problems or illness or Donald Trump

6.   6. -------  Singing!  I like to sing at church and with other people and  alone.  I like to sing camp songs, hymns, the old Standards like Frank Sinatra, folk songs. 

7.    7.  -------Cooking!  I like making hello fresh meals because the ingredients are there and the directions are clear and I have a finished product I want to eat.  I also like trying new recipes.  I recently made Bruschetta for the first time and enjoyed toasting the bread and preparing the tomatoes ahead  and then putting it together – bread tomatoes cheese balsamic dressing. Yum,  This is a new joy after 25 years of Chuck cooking for me – who knew how much I would enjoy this?

8.     8.------- Preparing for company.   I like planning the food, making up games to play, straightening the house, setting the table and the wonderful gift of anticipation.

9.     9.------- Going to the movies. I like to get there early and see the movie trivia and especially the previews.  Then the lights dim and larger than life a movie to get enjoy

10. 10.-------Writing – I don’t like to do it but I like the process and the result.  I write to process my life and frequently I am surprised at what emerges from an hour at the computer.

This morning one of the women in my cancer support group shared this on our Whats App text chain

Joy doesn’t cancel out the heavy things – but it gives you different pockets of strength to carry on.  Let it in wherever you can.

 

We have a lot of heavy things to carry these days but there are large and small joys that lighten the load. 

What are your top ten?