Merry Christmas

It was a very different Christmas for me this year.  I am not working at a church for one thing.  I have had time to savor the holiday and reflect on its meaning for me this year.

As always, family is important. Saturday 17 of us spent time at Kacey's house exchanging presents, eating Christmas food and playing games.  It was lots of fun.  This was John's first experience with this large family and he loved it.  As I write this, I am preparing to leave to go to Lisa's house for their Christmas celebration.  I will be bringing John  to meet Chuck's family. I know he will be welcomed as this new chapter in our lives begins.

Church has always been central to this holiday for me.  Because we are now part of First Congregational, we took a name off the angel tree and bought gifts for a little girl, Maya.  We also provided home made Christmas cookies to be served at "Bethlehem on Broadway."  This was nice, but very removed from real interaction  Because of the weather, we did not attend either Christmas Eve or Christmas day services. So my Christmas experience was very different from past years when I was front and center in the services and engaged with many people over the season.  Christmas can be both a joyous and a sad time of the year and when you are the pastor, you are walking with others through it all.

Mostly, this has been a time of wonder for me.  I sit in a  home that is mostly windows  and look at the stark beauty of the bare trees and ever changing Hoover Reservoir and savor the gifts of my life in this moment.  Some of this may be the movement from being a human "doing" to a human "being." I am grateful and trying - always trying - to live in THIS moment..  

The images of Christmas live in my heart.  Christmas morning I read to John from Richard Rohr's writing

For Christians who have gone to their own depths, there is the uncovering of an indwelling Presence—a deep, loving “yes” inherent within us. In Christian theology, this inner Presence would be described as the Holy Spirit, which is precisely God as immanent, within, and even our deepest, truest self. God is the very ground of our Being.

Some mystics have described this Presence as “closer to me than I am to myself” or “more me than I am myself.” Many of us would also describe this, as Thomas Merton did, as the True Self. Yet it still must be awakened and chosen. The Holy Spirit is totally given and given equally to all, but must be consciously received, too. The Presence needs to be recognized, honored, and drawn upon to become a living Presence within us.

He is Immanuel - God with us.  Even though Jesus was born in the midst of darkness - the corrupt and power hungry Herod, for example - God was with him and protected him.  God is here with me guiding me and strengthening me as I enter into this new chapter of my life. 

My prayer for this Christmas season is a continuing YES from me to the one who gives me life.  May God guide me into whatever is the new places of serving and living as a follower of Jesus. May I know myself as beloved and love others as Jesus would have me. 

Amen.

PS - quote from Henri Nouwen

We are the Beloved. We are intimately loved long before our parents, teachers, spouses, children and friends loved or wounded us. That’s the truth of our lives. That’s the truth I want you to claim for yourself. That’s the truth spoken by the voice that says, “You are my Beloved” [see Mark 1:9–11].

Listening to that voice with great inner attentiveness, I hear at my center words that say: “I have called you by name, from the very beginning. You are mine and I am yours. You are my Beloved, on you my favor rests. I have molded you in the depths of the earth and knitted you together in your mother’s womb. I have carved you in the palms of my hands and hidden you in the shadow of my embrace. I look at you with infinite tenderness and care for you with a care more intimate than that of a mother for her child. I have counted every hair on your head and guided you at every step. Wherever you go, I go with you, and wherever you rest, I keep watch. I will give you food that will satisfy all your hunger and drink that will quench all your thirst. I will not hide my face from you. You know me as your own as I know you as my own. You belong to me. I am your father, your mother, your brother, your sister, your lover and your spouse . . . yes, even your child . . . wherever you are I will be. Nothing will ever separate us. We are one.” [2]

Encouragement

The text for today is Genesis 15.  God comes to Abraham in a vision telling him that the promise that he made years ago will come to fruition.  Not now - but eventually:

 After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, “Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield; your reward shall be very great.” ² But Abram said, “O Lord God, what will you give me, for I continue childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?”^[a] 3 And Abram said, “You have given me no offspring, so a slave born in my house is to be my heir.” ⁴ But the word of the Lord came to him, “This man shall not be your heir; no one but your very own issue shall be your heir.” ⁵ He brought him outside and said, “Look toward heaven and count the stars, if you are able to count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your descendants be.” ⁶ And he believed the Lord, and the Lord^[b] reckoned it to him as righteousness.

 

This is an appropriate Advent message.  We are people in relationship with God who are waiting and God is with us.  Here are what are for me universal truths about the spiritual journey that I find in this text.

1. God speaks to Abram.  In this passage it is a vision and in others it is a word.  The UCC church has a slogan - God is still speaking.  Whenever we talk about "relationship" with God it has to have within it the communication that is two way.  We pray and speak to God and we listen and look and God does reveal Godself to us.  In Luke the angel comes to Mary and tells her that she will have a baby.  God also speaks through people, through writings, through thoughts, dreams, visions.  This is basic.  God speaks to Mary and to Abram and to us.

2. We are invited to respond.   In Abram's case God's first words to him were recorded in Genesis 12: 

Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you

He was told to GO and he went.  He left the familiar and went to the unknown.  Similarly Mary assented to the angel - 

 Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her.

She said yes and her whole life changed.

3. God encourages us during the waiting times.  Abraham was given a vision and a reiteration of the promise.  It was as if God said - it will happen.  Wait in trust.

For Mary, the angel informed her that her cousin was also expecting a child and she went to receive support and a reiteration of the promise from Elizabeth. 

Advent is an in between time - between the promise and the fulfillment of the promise.  I think we all are living in Advent  throughout our lives.  That is why the Exodus story has so much meaning for us - the 40 years of wandering in the wilderness.  We have begun the journey out of slavery to the empire and we are on the way to the promised land.  And God will give us signs of encouragement - like manna in the wilderness and water in a rock.

I think about what encourages me these days.  It tends to be nothing very dramatic  -a solo at a church service, a text from a friend, hawks flying over Hoover reservoir.  It is as if God is saying to me - "I am here and sustaining you as you keep the faith and wait - for Christmas? For guidance? for strength?"

Here is a prayer by Maxine Shonk

May the God of ENCOURAGEMENT be with you,

helping you to embrace the darkness and pain of the journey,

calling you to stand in love with those who suffer.

May this God carve her fatihful love into your heart. May your inner self be transfromed so that you can see more clearly your own journey

as one of peace, hope and solidarity. 

May the God of ENCOURAGEMENT be with you.

 

Some words to ponder

One of the texts of today is 1 Thessalonians 4: 1-12 which is headlined: a life pleasing to God.  It talks about abstaining from sexual immorality:

 that each one of you know how to control your own body^[a] in holiness and honor, ⁵ not with lustful passion, like the gentiles who do not know God; ⁶ that no one wrong or exploit a brother or sister in this matter,.....

 For God did not call us to impurity but in holiness

 So, even two thousand years ago, the a church leader acknowledges the challenge of living out our sexuality.  

I know this is not exactly an Advent message but I have over the years been disappointed with the response of the church to the blessing and burden of our sexuality.

 There are churches who teach about purity for young women - it is important to be chaste before marriage.  That was the message I grew up with.  In the first fifteen years of my being a minister, I knew ministers who would not do a marriage if the people were living together. Or they would require them to live apart for a time before they would perform the wedding.  Now, at my age, I really question that message. 

And the other teaching is that sexuality is between a man and a woman period.  There are churches that believe  that marriage is the only form of partnership approved by God for sexual relations and homoerotic sexual practice is incompatible with his will as revealed in scripture.  This would be those who read the scriptures literally and with a focus on the Old Testament.  Jesus said nothing about homosexuality.  What Paul said is open to interpretation (as are his injunctions for women to dress modestly or to teach men.)

When I look at the text of today,  I am drawn to this word: exploit. One definition of exploit is "to use selfishly for one's own ends."  When we exploit another person we are taking advantage,  manipulating,  using or  abusing them.  Whether gay or straight, married or unmarried - sexual exploitation is real. And what the text is saying is that those who know God do NOT exploit one another.  Does the church really talk about this in relation to sexuality?

There is another word that has become increasingly important to me recently.  It is not in the text but I believe it is implicit in the gospel message - the good news that Jesus proclaims as the reign of God. That word is mutuality. It is defined as: " the condition or quality of being mutual; reciprocity; mutual dependence; intimacy."  I keep finding that the message of Jesus is truly one of mutuality with the obvious example his famous golden rule - that we love our neighbors as ourselves..  We are invited to live into a new understanding of community which is characterized by love and mutuality.

Which leads me to my third word, that is found in the text: Holiness

The definition of holiness is to be "set apart."  That does not mean better than others like being "holier than thou" or living separated  and  cloistered from "the world."  For me it means  that while we may be living in a culture that is highly sexualized, consumeristic, materialistic and often dehumanizing, we are people who seek to live by the   values of the realm of God which are guided by love and compassion.

 On reflection, here is what I wish the message of the church was: We are called to be HOLY people - not pure and chaste and asexual - but real and authentic and able to express love with words, actions and our bodies.  Not exploting or using others for our own ends but in appreciation and mutual gratitude for the gift and responsibilities of our sexuality. 

May it be so.

The Promise of Advent

 Isaiah 11: 1-10 is the text for today and the image of the promise that Jesus brings - new life and peace and an  awareness of God.  After I read it this morning I was curious how Eugene Peterson interpreted these words in The Message and LOVE it.  Here it is.

A Green Shoot from Jesse’s Stump

11 ^1-5 A green Shoot will sprout from Jesse’s stump,
    from his roots a budding Branch.
The life-giving Spirit of God will hover over him,
    the Spirit that brings wisdom and understanding,
The Spirit that gives direction and builds strength,
    the Spirit that instills knowledge and Fear-of-God.
Fear-of-God
    will be all his joy and delight.
He won’t judge by appearances,
    won’t decide on the basis of hearsay.
He’ll judge the needy by what is right,
    render decisions on earth’s poor with justice.
His words will bring everyone to awed attention.
    A mere breath from his lips will topple the wicked.
Each morning he’ll pull on sturdy work clothes and boots,
    and build righteousness and faithfulness in the land.

A Living Knowledge of God

^6-9 The wolf will romp with the lamb,
    the leopard sleep with the kid.
Calf and lion will eat from the same trough,
    and a little child will tend them.
Cow and bear will graze the same pasture,
    their calves and cubs grow up together,
    and the lion eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child will crawl over rattlesnake dens,
    the toddler stick his hand down the hole of a serpent.
Neither animal nor human will hurt or kill
    on my holy mountain.
The whole earth will be brimming with knowing God-Alive,
    a living knowledge of God ocean-deep, ocean-wide.

This is a picture of living in Eden where there is peace and security and care for all of life - people, creatures, the earth itself.  Living knowing that we are all in relationship with each other in sacred unity. 

It is not the world we live in. At all.  From an early age we learn about survival of the fittest and are encouraged to take care of ourselves first.  We value individuality,  competition,  and having a tribal identity. 

I look at these verses longing for what is presented.  And I know this - I cannot change anyone but myself.  I believe that it starts with "knowing God-alive, a living knowledge of God ocean-deep, ocean-wide."  The gospel of today is Matthew 3: 1-12 and John the Baptist's words are 

3:2 "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near."

Repent means to turn back to God - to the way of God.  Which is a way of love, compassion, peace and grace. So I begin today at this computer pondering God's love for Margot which may help me to become a person of love, compassion, peace and grace.  It is really really easy for me to fall into judgment, cynicism, despair, self protection, self righteousness.  You get the picture. 

To begin a day with the promise of what God wants for us helps to reorient my thinking and my actions to be more loving and giving and open.  Brian McClaren in his book writes that when people say "I'm spiritual, what they mean, I think, is simple, "I'm seeking aliveness."  He writes

"What we all want is pretty simple, really,  
We want to be alive.  To feel alive.  Not just to exist but to thrive, to live out loud, walk tall, breathe free.  "

And I believe that aliveness is found in having the courage to love the unloveable (even when it is ourselves) and to be willing to connect to all of life.  Where I end up this morning is remembering the promise of Advent  that life can be better and I can be part of making it better.  

May it be so. 

Here is a prayer by Ted Loder who says it better than me.

uide Me Into An Unclinched Moment

Gentle me,
Holy One,
into an unclinched moment,
a deep breath,
a letting go
of heavy expectancies,
of shriveling anxieties,
of dead certainties,
that, softened by the silence,
surrounded by the light,
and open to the mystery,
I may be found by wholeness,
upheld by the unfathomable,
entranced by the simple,
and filled with the joy
that is you. 

Prepare

Finally!  The text for today is a very familiar advent text from Isaiah 40.  Traditional Advent message - prepare!

A voice cries out:
“In the wilderness prepare the way of the Lord;
    make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
⁴ Every valley shall be lifted up,
    and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
    and the rough places a plain.
⁵ Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
    and all flesh shall see it together,
    for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

When I read these words I remember my parents singing the words in "The Messiah" at First Presbyterian Church in West Chester Pennsylvania.  I can sing along to the Godspell song as well.  I have preached on this text for years and years and planned activities for people to prepare - like retreats and Bible studies and workshops.  

What I know is that the preparation is both external and internal.  There really is something about preparing the space with Christmas decorations to realize that we are in a new season.  As a child it is waiting for this big and almost magical day when there will be surprises of new toys to play with and special foods.  I am remembering my mother's Christmas cookies as I write this.

But the internal is somehow making space for something new that God wants to do.  That is why the words about valleys lifted up and mountains and hill made low speak to me.  This is not just a celebration but a promise of "the glory of the Lord" shall be revealed.  We use and like the image of Jesus being born again into our heart.  I like it because it speaks of something dynamic happening that brings change.  Again.

At my age I have seen a lot of Christmas and what I observe in people (that is, us) is the danger of allowing this to be just another Christmas as we do what seems to be the "same old, same old."  That is why I am intentionally writing this blog during this season so I can live into the promise of Advent.  That we are waiting for SOMETHING new.  Even in your 70's there can be something new.

I trust that and read these very comforting words again this morning and wait and hopefully prepare.

Here is an Advent Poem by Mary Oliver

Dear Lord, I have swept and I have washed but
still nothing is as shining as it should be
for you. Under the sink, for example, is an
uproar of mice – it is the season of their
many children. What shall I do? And under the eaves
and through the walls the squirrels
have gnawed their ragged entrances – but it the season
when they need shelter, so what shall I do? And
the raccoon limps into the kitchen and opens the cupboard
while the dog snores, the cat holds the pillow;
what shall I do? Beautiful is the new snow falling
in the yard and the fox who is staring boldly
up the path, to the door. And I still believe you will
come, Lord; you will, when I speak to the fox,
the sparrow, the lost dog, the shivering sea-goose, know
that I am really speaking to you whenever I say,
as I do all morning and afternoon: Come in, Come in.

Mary Oliver in THIRST

Discernment

One of the texts for today is Acts 1 and the decision of the first disciples to replace Judas.  Jesus had selected 12 and one betrayed him and now there was an opening for his replacement.  How did they decide this most important choice?  They identified two candidates and prayed about it and then "cast lots" and selected Matthias.

When I looked up what casting lots means I learned that the modern equivalent is flipping a coin. 
Which seems pretty random.  And we never hear about Matthias again so probably it all worked out all right.

On this cold Friday in December I find myself just thinking about the quandries we get into in having to make practical decisions like this one.  There are times - not many, but sometimes - when I have had a true "inner knowing" that this was what I should do.  This is the path I should take or the door I should close.  But often the answers do not come quickly or at all and at some point I just DO IT or NOT.  Right now I am debating about whether to take on a responsibility at the church I have joined and have gone back and forth for ten days - sure one minute I should do it and then questioning the next whether this is a good coie for me right now.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  

After reading this text, maybe I will sit down and pray about it and then just flip a coin and trust that God is in the choice and ultimately "all will be well."

All I know is that at this time in my life my decision making is much slower and more thoughtful, even though I often end up with - I guess I will.  Maybe?

I will end with a famous prayer by Thomas Merton which I could read every day.

“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

Kindness

I read over the texts of today and finally land on Isaiah 54: 1-10.  Isaiah 40-66 is a description of the promises of God to his people following the exile.  It describes to me the nature of God as I have experienced God in my life.

But My kindness shall not depart from you,
Nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,”
Says the LORD, who has mercy on you.

The prophet is telling the children of Israel about Yahweh who is kind, merciful and in an enduring relationship with them - a covenant of peace. As I read this today, I think how much my life has been about trying to help people to experience the presence of our God of kindness, mercy and peace.  That is what I want worship to be about, and sermons and retreats and spiritual direction.  

The exile is one of the major themes of the Bible and it is a good one.  In the original story of exile, after Israel was defeated by the Babylonians, the righteous remnant were sent to live in Babylon.  Someone called it the "clash of kingdoms" as they live in a culture that was so different from theirs. They were strangers in a strange land trying to live out their faith in a very different environment.

As I try to prepare for this Advent I am aware of that as well today.  The materialism and the consumerism of the Christmas season can certainly get in the way of worshiping the baby born in a stable and following his way of peace and kindness and mercy.  I remember reading years ago a commentator suggest that preaching against consumerism during Christmas was like spitting into the wind.  

I also despair of the way some people's faith and description of God and Jesus leans into judgment and without mercy. Every year fewer and fewer people identify as Christians as the message of love and grace gets distorted.

All of this is to say that this season is a time to reflect on the nature of God and the gift and message of the birth of Jesus.  It is all about a love that is born again into the humblest of places and a love that wants to come again and be born in us.  It is about kindness, mercy and an everlasting covenant relationship that God wants to have with us.

So today I put in this blog one of my favorite prayers/ poems that describes what is essential in my relationship with God - love.  That has to be the center of it all. 

Let Your God Love You (by Edwina Gateley)

Be silent.
Be still.
Alone.
Empty
Before your God.
Say nothing.
Ask nothing.
Be silent.
Be still.
Let your God look upon you.
That is all.
God knows.
God understands.
God loves you
With an enormous love,
And only wants
To look upon you
With that love.
Quiet.
Still.
Be.

Let your God—
Love you.

Deliverance

The Psalm for this day is one of my favorites - Psalm 124.  It is a Psalm of Ascent.  Eugene Peterson wrote a book about the Psalms of Ascent and I picture people walking (up) to Jerusalem and speaking these words aloud as they walked.  With the words within them because they were so familiar.  Kind of like I know some Beatles songs and my daughter Kacey knows Taylor Swift's.  The words live in us and are a touchstone.  Here is the Psalm:

If it had not been the Lord who was on our side

    —let Israel now say—

 if it had not been the Lord who was on our side,

    when our enemies attacked us,

 then they would have swallowed us up alive,

    when their anger was kindled against us;

 then the flood would have swept us away;

    the torrent would have gone over us;

 then over us would have gone

    the raging waters.

6 Blessed be the Lord, who has not given us as prey to their teeth.

7 We have escaped like a bird from the snare of the hunters;

the snare is broken, and we have escaped.

Our help is in the name of the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.

It is about remembering the deliverance that the children of Israel received from Egypt.  The images are graphic - enemies attacking, a flood sweeping over, a bird caught in a trap.  Can I remember such a time in my life?  Yes, there have been times of great challenge in my 73 years when I felt caught in a trap (maybe of my own making) or attacked by others.  And yes,  - in retrospect - God did protect and guide me through it all.  Often through the prayers and help and kindness of people along the way. I can easily say   I know about deliverance. 

At the same time I am very aware that there are people who are experiencing this right now.  I cannot imagine the suffering of those in the Ukraine right now, or those trapped in the grip of addiction, or people who have no home and no income and no family. 

So, part of Advent meditation is remembering our own deliverance but also having the awareness of the multitudes who are in places of poverty and oppression right now.  Today is "Giving Tuesday" after the feasting of Thanksgiving and the material purchasing  of black Friday. small business Saturday and Cyber Monday. 

 I will give today - to some of my favorite causes.  But my prayer  is for a deeper awareness of the needs around me and the way that God is calling me to be generous  this season.  I know this sounds preachy but really I am always talking to myself in this blog.  I am into the Christmas spirit and  i know that the circle of care needs to be wider than just my family and friends.

Here is a wonderful Prayer by Marion Wright Edelman

God did not call us to succeed

God did not call us to succeed,

God called us to serve.

God did not call us to win,

God called us to work.

God did not call us to live long,

God called us to live for Him.

God did not call us to be happy,

God called us to be hopeful.

God did not call us to fame,

God called us to faith.

God did not call us to seek power,

God called us to seek peace.

God did not call us to loot the earth and each other,

God called us to love our earth and each other.

O God take our tiny acorns of service and turn them into towering oak trees of hope.

Patient waiting

I look over the texts of this day and the evening Psalm is the one that grabs me today.  Psalm 40 begins like this:

 ¹   I waited patiently for the LORD;
          he inclined to me and heard my cry.
²   He drew me up from the desolate pit,
          out of the miry bog,
     and set my feet upon a rock,
          making my steps secure.
³   He put a new song in my mouth,
          a song of praise to our God.
     Many will see and fear,
          and put their trust in the LORD.

 

"I waited patiently for the Lord."  I only wish that were true.  So often my waiting - for healing, for peace, for guidance is anything but patient.  However as I get older, I at least wait with the confidence that God is here, "inclining" to me and listening for my cry.  Listening for the cry of all of us.  One of my favorite verses in the Bible is from the book of Exodus when the writer tells us that God heard the people - the enslaved people - "Groaning."  I like and trust this idea of a listening God.

So on this first Monday of the first week of Advent maybe the awareness  to start this season with is this:  God is LISTENING.  God is present and inclining Godself to me.  And then there is the obvious question - are you - am I - speaking, expressing myself, praying?

True confession - it is easier to write about praying, to talk about praying, to read about praying - than to pray.  To sit in the silence - perhaps with my journal - and open myself to the reality of God's loving presence. To sit and wait long enough to uncover the places within my life, my soul, our world in which we are acquainted with the desolate pit and the miry bog.  

In our lives we live with both joy and sorrow, abundance and poverty , consolation and desolation. Gratitude is a wonderful practice for everyone, AND so is getting in touch with the places of sorrow, poverty and desolation that we also carry.  It is the awareness of darkness for which we need the light during this season.

So, my intention for this time is to be a woman of prayer for the one who is waiting patiently.

Here is such a prayer by Walter Brueggemann

“Advent Prayer
In our secret yearnings
we wait for your coming,
and in our grinding despair
we doubt that you will.
And in this privileged place
we are surrounded by witnesses who yearn more than do we
and by those who despair more deeply than do we.
Look upon your church and its pastors
in this season of hope
which runs so quickly to fatigue
and in this season of yearning
which becomes so easily quarrelsome.
Give us the grace and the impatience
to wait for your coming to the bottom of our toes,
to the edges of our fingertips.
We do not want our several worlds to end.
Come in your power
and come in your weakness
in any case
and make all things new.
Amen.”