It was all of that this year. We did what we always do - ate well, went to the movies, played games, talked, walked. This year we added a spring training baseball game that was really fun and we also went to the Labyrinth at the Franciscan center. There is something for me about the blue skies of arizona and the freedom of a long time friendship that can really help to give me a sense of openness and peace.
I returned yesterday just in time to participate in the community Ash Wednesday service at Gender Road. It was markedly different from my experience last year when I attended the worship at First Community. It was two months after Chuck' s death and I literally cried through the whole service and I distinctly remember that I didn't have kleenex. Last night I introduced the service and did the benediction and was able to place the ashes on people's foreheads. It was extremely meaningful to me. Turn away from sin and know that you are the beloved - is what I repeated. That is the gospel in a nutshell to me.
As Lent has begun I am still deciding what, if anything, to give up and what to take on. In my book group, several of us are committing to a daily "sitting practice" which I sort of did on the airplane yesterday. Today I will begin in earnest. And I think I will write more in this blog.
I get the daily lectionary via email and today one of the scriptures was Romans 1: 1-7
Paul, a servant[a] of Jesus Christ, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, 2 which he promised beforehand through his prophets in the holy scriptures, 3 the gospel concerning his Son, who was descended from David according to the flesh 4 and was declared to be Son of God with power according to the spirit[b] of holiness by resurrection from the dead, Jesus Christ our Lord, 5 through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles for the sake of his name, 6 including yourselves who are called to belong to Jesus Christ,
This is one long and complicated sentence but I was struck by the phrase - "including yourselves who are called to belong to Jesus Christ."
As I begin this season I remember that and I cherish that identity. I am called to belong to Jesus Christ. My life has changed radically since Chuck died and the changes continue. Right now Steve is painting my house before i contact a realtor to sell it. By the end of the year, I know that I will be living in an apartment at Innis Wood Village. I have made the decision to move.
And at the same time, the questions of identity continue - the loss of Chuck, the working at a new church, the changes of aging and now the move away from this house where i have lived longer than any other place is A LOT. I cling to my faith and to the awareness that I may not know exactly who I am anymore and where I live - but I do know to whom I belong.
As this season begins I hope to deepen my time with Jesus in prayer and writing and reading and service. In the midst of all the other changes - that I know is where I belong.
As I remember these words I spoke last night - "Turn Away from Sin and know you are Beloved" I share this prayer by Jan Richardson for Lent.
Beloved Is Where We Begin
If you would enter
into the wilderness,
do not begin
without a blessing.
into the wilderness,
do not begin
without a blessing.
Do not leave
without hearing
who you are:
Beloved,
named by the One
who has traveled this path
before you.
without hearing
who you are:
Beloved,
named by the One
who has traveled this path
before you.
Do not go
without letting it echo
in your ears,
and if you find
it is hard
to let it into your heart,
do not despair.
without letting it echo
in your ears,
and if you find
it is hard
to let it into your heart,
do not despair.
That is what
this journey is for.
I cannot promise
this blessing will free you
from danger,
from fear,
from hunger
or thirst,
from the scorching
of sun
or the fall
of the night.
this blessing will free you
from danger,
from fear,
from hunger
or thirst,
from the scorching
of sun
or the fall
of the night.
But I can tell you
that on this path
there will be help.
that on this path
there will be help.
I can tell you
that on this way
there will be rest.
that on this way
there will be rest.
I can tell you
that you will know
the strange graces
that come to our aid
only on a road
such as this,
that fly to meet us
bearing comfort
and strength,
that come alongside us
for no other cause
than to lean themselves
toward our ear
and with their
curious insistence
whisper our name:
that you will know
the strange graces
that come to our aid
only on a road
such as this,
that fly to meet us
bearing comfort
and strength,
that come alongside us
for no other cause
than to lean themselves
toward our ear
and with their
curious insistence
whisper our name:
Beloved.
Beloved.
Beloved.
—Jan Richardson
from Circle of Grace
from Circle of Grace
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