Happy Birthday to Me

Today I am 64
Which I find to be stunning. How did this happen?

But most of all I am grateful. 64 and in good health with a very satisfying life, children who love me and a husband who is never boring. Grateful.

Today I am going out to lunch with friends and dinner with husband and tomorrow there is a karaoke party. I think that is enough of a to do this year.

What I am doing this afternoon is probably as good of an occupation as you can have on your birthday. I am putting together a memorial service for tomorrow. For a 96 year old saint. There is something about reflecting on the finitude of your years and the possibility of many more years that may be coming for this senior citizen that brings up some pretty big questions.

Like:

What if I do have 30 more years of life ahead?
What if I am only two thirds of the way through my time on earth?
What more do I want to do?
Where do I want to go?
What changes do I want or need to make?
What can I look forward to?

You know, those kinds of questions. And I trust that the answers are coming.

what I have learned is this - that God is not done with me (or any of us) yet. I know I have more peace in my soul now than I did 5 years ago - and in many ways I am as happy as I have ever been.

And so, happy birthday to me. My prayer for today is that I may live this day in joy and gratitude and trust that all of my tomorrows will bring more wonder than I can even imagine today.