Weekend of Grief

It is Sunday afternoon and I have 15 minutes before I go to church again for the Gospel Praise Service. I did something I rarely do - I took a nap this afternoon. I could not get the sermon finished - and last night got to sleep at about 2 and woke up at 7 and have been kind of tired.

Yesterday was packed.
First I went to my Wellstreams Class for half of the class. We spent time with John of the Cross. He is famous for our understanding of the "Dark Night of the Soul" which can certainly last more than a night. It is the times when we are struggling and suffering with letting go of our attachments. Some of the things that were said:

• John is for adults - and he learned what he learned through the lens of hsi own suffering
• John articulates grief - and that life can only begin when we topple idols in our life
• John helps us to learn how to become contemplative - to move from simple prayer to deep prayer.
• This process is emptying ourselves of our illusions and those things that get in our way - so God can fill us
• It is a process where we move from relying on outside authorities to get in touch with the God within
• "we have a huge responsibility to form our own conscience"
• John really understands the suffering that purifies - as 2 mysteries are being met - the self and God
• The journey of conversion is to get rid of the false ego so that the true self is going to come into being.
• "God is a mystery to be lived and not a problem to be solved."

It was all a lot of food for thought and much that i have experienced. The truth is that we live in a culture that discourages going deeply into suffering - instead we try to avoid the pain and then miss the meaning.

Anyway, I feel blessed to have this class in this time in my life.

Unforfoturnately I had to leave early to go to do a funeral for an 85 year old man. And it was - as it always is - wonderful to be able to sit with a family and help them through their grief. At my funerals I always will say - that as we remember and celebrate this person - we always have to be open to grieving. These days frequently people want to talk about celebrating and not grieving. I think there is a relationship with John of the Cross!

We had snow and so I rode with the funeral director (slowly) to the cemetary and back and then drove VERY slowly home. Got home just in time to put together a 4 minute talk for the funeral home up the street.

They do a memorial service every December and invite family members of those who have passed away. The service started with a choir from a local church, then I did a brief message about remembering and grieving and trusting in God. And then each family came forward and said the name of the person who had died. There were lots of tears and people would say - "It's been really hard" etc. The room was just so full of sadness. But obvious.y, it is important for us to remember and to outwardly mourn.

This is why my sermon came so hard, I think. The day took a lot out of me emotionally and I really could not get focussed until about 10 pm last night.

But I have to say - it was satisfying to be able to learn and to use what I learn. God is good.

All the time.