Escape or Engage

On my Memorial Day I escaped to be with Mark Harmon. There was a marathon of NCIS on USA today and I watched alot of those shows. At the same time I have been reading an escapist book called "The Shooter" by WEB Griffin. And it is about a Special Ops team in South America.

It is all a way I get to escape my own life. They have male characters who are very disciplined and who work with a team to save people's lives and sometimes save the free world. In contrast, I am a female who is undisiciplined in too many ways and doing something that often seems trvial. In this other world view there is also a clear sense of right and wrong and good and bad people and in my world there is often paradox and the reality that I am always dealing with flawed people (myself included.) But I escaped for a while.

And now I am back in the real world of my life. And engaged....as I am able. I start every day with "morning pages." This means that I get my coffee and go into my prayer room, light candles, put on music and write at least three pages in my journal. At the same time I am reading very slowly through the book "Everything Belongs" by Richard Rohr. It has really be a gift to me to have this book at this time. The last vew days I have been reading the chapter "cleansing the lens"

Here are some quotes from it:

"The most courageous thing we will ever do is bear humbly the mystery of our own reality."

"The Cherokee Chiefs said to their young braves, "Why do you spend your time in brooding?
Don't you know you are being driven by great winds across the sky?"

"The only people who grow in truth are those who are humble and honest."

"In reality our growth is hidden. It is accomplished by the release of our current defense postures, by the letting go of fear and our attachment to self image. Thus we grow by subtraction much more than by addition." It's not a matter of more and better information. The wisdom traditions say that information itself is not the key.
Once our defenses are out of the way and we are humble and poor, truth is allowed to show itself. It shows itself when we are free from ideology, fear, and anger."

"The great patterns are always the same. It's either fear or love. It's either illusion or love. It's either self protection or love. Healthy religion is all about love. All we can do is get out of the way."

And so...that is engagement. But that is so difficult. There is no loving people without suffering with and for them. I write this as I think about (and pray about) my sister Ellen who is living with lung cancer right now.

Anyway, these are my ruminations after my morning prayers.