The Year of Magical Thinking

I just finished reading The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. It is such a good book.
It ias about the year following the sudden death of her husband John Gregory Dunne.

First of all, I remember reading "Play it as it Lays" by Joan Didion 30 years ago and just loving her very spare writing style. Still do - she has an eye for the small incident that speaks represents so much more.

What struck me about this book was her repulsion of self pity, but the complete compassion that this book evokes in the reader for her as the stunned and wounded widow. This reminded me of the truth of grief - that we may look functional in our grieving - but inside have literally fallen apart.

Yesterday I spent an hour with a woman whose husband died Sunday. Whenever I do a funeral I routinely spend time with the family literally reconstructing the person's life. It is helpful for them in their grieving and for me in preparing the funeral address. It is easy to become detached and forget about the enormity of the grief of the one who is left behind.

This book reminded me that the funeral is really just a cocoon for the grieving person. They are literally in shock and it is in the months and years to come that they come to terms with the loss and begin to reconstruct their life.

This was not written from a faith perspective although I saw glimpses of the divine in the story - even in her writing. I have lost parents and believe that my relationship with God has somehow softened the hardest parts of grieving. Certainly the belief that the ones that I love are with our Lord gives me peace. And I trust that somehow we will be in each other's presence again is a hopeful thought.

But the death of a loved person is the most painful part of this life. And this book describes that pain beautifully.