Wednesday morning prayer time

I start this day spending time with "the monk" as Bill Brown says at Bible study. He expresses his frustration with this writer of "The Cloud of Unknowing." And I just continue to struggle - not with him as much as with myself. And I guess that is part of what this "retreat" has been all about.

We are in day 25 of 30 in an email prayer retreat based on "The Cloud of Unknowing." written by a monk to his young priest in training. And it is pretty amazing to consider that he continues to teach and grow us - hundreds of years later.

Here are some quotes from the readings
- "Let a need to love replace a need to understand."

"only love can pierce the darkness"

"follow the humble stirring of love in your heart."

What is ironic about this for me is that these readings about not knowing - actually help my understanding. Today the reading was about loving God for God and not for his gifts. We can worship the created and the creature and fail to live in the creator. We can come to God for what God does for us - and miss the mystery of the more of God.
And yet, and yet, and yet - as I concurrently preach a sermon series on the 7 deadly sins and just live this life of facing my own humanity and mortality - I very much need what God has for me. the gifts.

And this morning I write this prayer

My God, I thank you for this day in all its
wonder
beauty
possibility
ordinariness

I thank you for the way you stretch me
forgive me encourage me use me

Lord it is so hard to be fully human
open to and aware of my sin
open to and aware of needs of others

And I know I cannot do it unless I am open to and aware of
your presence
your on going creation
your never ending grace

So I want to and need to rest in the cloud of unkowing
living in a sense of expansiveness
wonder
love

May it be so today

Amen

Sermon on Sloth and Diligence

Matthew 25:14-30

14“For it is as if a man, going on a journey, summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them; 15to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability.

Then he went away. 16The one who had received the five talents went off at once and traded with them, and made five more talents.

17In the same way, the one who had the two talents made two more talents. 18But the one who had received the one talent went off and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

19After a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them.

20Then the one who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you handed over to me five talents; see, I have made five more talents.’

21His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’

22And the one with the two talents also came forward, saying, ‘Master, you handed over to me two talents; see, I have made two more talents.’ 23His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’

24Then the one who had received the one talent also came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; 25so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.’

26But his master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? 27Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest. 28So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents. 29For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. 30As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

You know this story and you have heard it many times. You have heard it at stewardship service – about risking giving, or during times when we look at the gifts and talents that we have.

This morning I want us to ponder this poor, fearful, lazy guy who did not work for the master. Instead he hid the talent in the ground. So while his companions where diligently trading and making more of what they were given. He did what? We actually don’t know what he did – but we know what he didn’t do.And so we call him lazy. Actually Jesus calls him lazy.

We know about laziness – doing less and less required, minimal work, less effort

* Melissa – tells a story of being a construction worker and people looking at the job they have done and say – good enough for government work

* Daughter who is a teacher tells me about teachers who keep using the same lesson plans

* One pastor never prepared during the week, and on Sunday morning he'd sit on the platform while the church was singing the hymns desperately praying, "Lord, give your message, Lord give me your message." One Sunday, while desperately praying for God's message, he heard the Lord say, "Ralph, here's my message. You're lazy!"

But actually lazy is probably not the right word here. A mis translation – better word is sloth – which Sloth is often related to the older latin idea of accidia – which is sometimes translated “spiritual weariness” or “despair”

We are in week 2 of a seven week sermon series on the deadly sins and today we focus on sloth – laziness – acedia. Not the outward manifestation – but the inword soul condition - Acedia, Spiritual torpor, indifference soul weariness


Dorothy Sayers – “it is not merely idleness of mind and laziness of body: it is that whole poisoning of the will which, beginning with indifference and an attitude of “I couldn’t care less” extends to te deliberate refusal of joy and culminated in morbid introspection and despair.”

Maybe this man was just weary - he was given a task and power and chose to bury it, to not risk or work.

- Was it because of Disillusionment – often from spiritual immaturity – I have been a “good person” and still I struggle.. Things didn’t turn out the way I expected and so I have lost my drive and motivation

- Was it Purposelessness – what is the point? Maybe fired up some time ago and nothing changed the way you thought it would – story about the social worker?

- Was his Inaction motivated by boredom, complacency and despair. And it is in despair that we start to believe things that are not true. The cup is half empty always. For this man – the master is hard, unforgiving, there is nothing he can do. Does he believe this? Maybe he is saying it to himself? The same way we say – that things can never change, we can never change, it is all bad so why try. Know folks who have stopped reading any news, voting, what difference does it make?

And so – sloth, or acedia is a lack of passion, it is something that happens slowly over time that we no longer get worked up about poverty or homelessness or hunger or war in the middle east. And by the same token we fail to see the beauty – the blessing of a bird at the bird feeder, the beauty of a rainbow, the majesty of Bach or the creativity of Mumford and Sons,

It is a spirit that reacts to cruelty, injustice and pain by shrugging the shoulders and switching the channel.

We can call it sloth, laziness, acedia, spiritual weariness, spiritual dryness, compassion fatigue – but it is nothing new

Psalm 42 – my soul is cast down within me, why are you cast down, O my soul and why are you disquieted within me?

And what I want to say is that this feeling – may not be depression, it may not be just a season that we are in – it may really be something that we need to look at within ourselves. It may be a stance that we have been “harboring” for years – underneath everything –our activity and the mask that we wear.

This sense of acedia –– Is that all there is? Is there a purpose to my life? To our life?

If we want to imagine the opposite of sloth, then Jesus fits the bill. We can never imagine the words “couldn’t be bothered” on his lips.
There was a life lived with passion, intensity, laughter, suffering, joy and pain, in which every person who came near seemed to matter.

And so we turn to him to seek a way out of this place of sloth, of ennuie, of despair. Our spiritual value is diligence – which is is translated – zeal, integrity, labor. Spiritual diligence is about doing the work of faith.

While we are not saved by good works, we are saved to do good works for the Kingdom of God . Paul explicitly affirms so in Ephesians 2:10, “[God] has “created [us] in Christ Jesus for good works, which [He] prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” And this way of life is a way of love – love for God, for each other, for ourselves.

It is to get out of ourselves and reach up and reach out to others. Diligence in love.

And that is why we come together this morning – to worship the living God. In very imperfect ways that may or may not speak to you. But trusting that somehow in the words that are spoken, the songs that are sung, the sacraments that are shared – somehow God’s presence gets through the wall of sloth, acedia, indifference. Somehow God’s presence helps us to get beyond ourselves and our “morbid introspection”

So that we might see that the talent we received from God was powerful and had a purpose beyond our own little lives.

Why do we worship? So that God’s power can break through us. So that we can lift our heads and our arms to God and find something more than US If we find ourselves in the grips of accidia, the mere act of remembering can be powerful. Remembering the realness of God’s grace that we have experienced in our lives.

And in this act maybe the greater purpose of our life can be seen. We are part of the body we have a part In the puzzle. My work and your work and his work and her work together make a picture – and the picture is the kingdom of God

We are working to help God to find a place where there is pure love. That’s our work And maybe what happens here, or in Bible study, or in personal devotions may move us to action The action of learning something new – as an antidote to boredom.

The action of responding to needs in our midst, in our community, in our world – knowing that our little bit can change someone – who can change something – which can change someone else. It truly is a domino effect

The action of creativity which is a form of hope – that God is doing something new in this world. And so the spiritual step for this week is not to work. It is to create - something. Because it is in our creativity (with God) that we are participating in the something NEW that God is doing.
This journey is a journey of transformation
Not from lazy to working
as much as from asleep to awake
from stopping to starting
from indifference to love

amen

Two Down - Five to Go

The two that are down are gluttony and sloth - with lust, wrath, pride, envy and greed to go.
I am preaching on the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues this fall and it is definitely challenging me.

What I have learned so far is that whatever you think the sin is - superficially - it is so much more. And for me in the preparation, it is definitely a time of self examination as I struggle. I definitely believe that this spiritual journey is one of change and transformation, but I also know that it is not easy to see yourself and what you don't want to see.

Just want to basically recap what I am learning. First about gluttony - it is not about over eating as much as over consuming. We have gluttony about lots of things beyond food. And it does seem to have a relationship to spiritual hunger that we are trying to fill as well as uncomfortable feelings we are trying to numb. The trouble with gluttony in terms of eating is that we are literally too full physically and we often have not really appreciated and savored the blessing of eating. I ended this sermon with what I called a "spiritual step" to guide us - and it was not to fast - but to eat mindfully. Here is what I said
" Maybe a whole day, or a meal, or maybe just an apple or a banana. Eat Focus on each mouthful. Think about the flavour, texture and even the sound of the food in your mouth. Focus on how much you like, or dislike these sensations.
Think about the process of growth from seed to fruit, Think of the persons who were part of your pleasurable meal – those who grew it, delivered it, sold it,
Think of the miracle of your body and all that is happening as you chew, swallow and receive this gift.
Think about God in all of it. And this much I know – there will be no gluttony in this meal. Only grace."

I struggle with this because so often I do eat compulsively. What I keep learning about the spiritual life is that it is about slowing down in every way. Seeing, Hearing and TASTING the goodness of life - mindful of God.

I will post my sermon from yesterday on Sloth and diligence. What I learned here is that sloth is more than laziness. In fact, I think the "laziness" that we often indulge in can come from a "spiritual weariness" which is called "Acedia." It is easy to fall into an attitude of "I couldn't care less" and "whatever" and "same old, same old" and a sense that we have no power to change a situation so why bother. But the answer isn't get off the couch and get going - any more than the answer to gluttony is push yourself away from the table.
It really is to find a way to get in touch with the source of life that keeps creating and keeps loving.

The only answer is hope. Interestingly for me, as I work with these "deadly sins" I am also participating in a 30 day retreat on "The Cloud of Unknowing" and on Sunday morning the prayer was this:

On our journey into the cloud of unknowing
And union with God
There are some things that we must do for ourselves,
And some things
That God,
And only God,
Can and must do for and in us.

Of the work that belongs to God alone
I prefer not to speak,
I dare not speak.

But let us speak of the work that falls to us.

Our task is the hard and unending one
Of putting behind us,
Of consigning to a cloud of forgetting
All that must be put aside
If we are to approach
The cloud of unknowing, if we are to love God and God alone.

This is our task.
Everything else belongs to God
And God alone.
To do this,
Even with the help of great grace
Requires hard labor on our part.

But if you work hard,
If you press on
In the task of leaving behind
All that stands between you and God,
And beat relentlessly upon the cloud of unknowing,
Then God, I promise you,
Will not fail you.

But he is waiting for you
To do your part.




All through the Day

Love is our task;
Everything else is up to God.


++++++++++++
There is work that we are to do - and it is the "work of love." And loving others and my sinful self is work but I am grateful for the "cloud of unknowing" that enables me just to rest in not knowing but trusting in a love that I don't have to manage or earn - just receive.

Anyway I write this blog - finally after three weeks of not writing (sloth!) as an act of creativity. That was the spiritual step I suggested yesterday to the congregation. To overcome sloth - maybe we don't have to "work" maybe instead it is creating - or co creating with our always creating God. Remembering that wonderful statement of hope - God is doing a new thing! Today. With me. With you.

30 day retreat in September

Yesterday I started a 7 day "retreat" with Joan Chittister on the Psalms. And I like it. Every day I get mailed a reading to reflect on and there is a message from Joan. there are about 30 or 40 people in this week long retreat and we sometimes have posted a few lines about what this means to us. I like it

for that reason I thought I would try to offer one to anyone who is interested in my church (or actually anyone!)
So, beginning September 1st I am going to do 30 days of "Retreat" with the nameless author of the Cloud of Unknowing. I got a book about it (actually it was in a storage unit!!) and will send out daily messages t to whoever wants to join me on this particular journey. There is something about sharing a spiritual experience with others that is really appealing to me.

Here is the message I just sent out on email and face book.

An Invitation to Contemplation with The Cloud of Unknowing

“God is calling you to something more” - the Cloud of Unknowing
The Cloud of Unknowing is an anonymous work on contemplative prayer written in the 14th century. It is written as a guidebook by a nameless older monk to a young seeker who wanted to live closer to God.
His writing continues to teach those of us who seek a closer relationship with God. It makes accessible the spiritual experience and wisdom from ancient holy ones who came before us.
During the month of September I am going to “retreat” for 30 days with writings from this spiritual guide. I am inviting anyone who would like to join me in this journey into becoming more contemplative.
There are three parts to this daily retreat – beginning the day in prayer, a mantra to carry with us during the day, and a prayer for evening. I will send these out to anyone who wants to be part of this spiritual experience every day via email. What this means for us is that we will be setting time aside for prayer and reflection both in the morning and evening. I would also encourage everyone to journal as we journey together.
We also have the opportunity to respond to one another via email as we are companions through this retreat time.
If you are interested in participating in this spiritual discipline, please send me an email by September 1st and I will include you in the daily reflection. (ogram842@yahoo.com)
At the end of the month – on Friday September 27th – we will have an afternoon retreat. Details will follow about that.
Margot


Anyway, this is an experiment to see if there is anyone out there who wants to join me in a daily discipline for 30 days. I will send out the emails every morning. And hopefully will pray, journal, reflect, walk, and pray again in the evening.

And then - opening ourselves to God in this very intentional way - we will see what God does with us.

Interested? email me. ogram842@yahoo.com

At Camp

I write this from the breezeway at Camp Christian. It is freetime at Advance conference on a Friday afternoon. There are many young people - including Audrey - at the pool having fun. The torch is burning to my right and beyond that is the lake.
It is a beautiful day and the my time here is almost over.

The theme this week has been balance and every one of the keynotes have been about balance. Audrey started by talking about the sacred and secular. Roger McKinney about how volunteerism brings balance to our lives and the world. I was next and talked about finding balance within our famlies. Jim Bane followed with talking about balance in romantic love and today Allen's message was about loving yourself. Every one of these keynotes were well done, thoughtful and really made us think.

I spent last week at Chautauqua which had its own "balance" for me - the balance between the intellectual (lectures and sermons and front porch discussion) and family and friends (time with Alyse, Reagan, Audrey, Chuck and Jim and Holly, Mary Wood and others) But this week also has its own rhythems and balance. Every day is full: with breakfast, faculty meeting, then Bible study, keynote, small groups, lunch, committees, free time, dinner, vespers and recreation. I love it here.

Now as others are resting and "recreating" I am starting that process of preparation to go home and thinking about my sermon for Sunday. And wondering where I am going with it - but trusting - as always - that it will come.

I am preaching from Hebrews about running "with perseverance" the race that is set before us. And today as I sit here in this familiar place with so many memories I know that we really do run the race a step at a time and so often do not know what is next.

I first came to camp in 1983 as a Chi Rho Counselor and since then I have spent one to two weeks at camp almost every year. Many, many years of chi rho counseling and being an assistant director and now working with young adults in Advance Conference for at least 15 years. And then when we add Grandparents camp and retreats - it is a lot of time. And the time has brought me spiritual growth as well as wonderful opportunities for ministry.

It has been a place that has provided balance for me. Time to be outside, time to be with colleagues who became friends, time to be away from the dailiness of my life in Bowling Green and Columbus, time to be with God.

I am grateful - as always - for the vision of those men and women 60+ years ago who bought and built this place and all the "cloud of witnesses" who have served in so many ways. As I write this Jim and Roger at probably en route back to camp from Howard Ratcliffe's memorial service. Remembering his leadership and his faithfulness. He truly did keep the faith and was a model to so many of us.

So, back to my sermon prep and as always blessed to be here.
At Camp Christian - The Beloved Community!

Being with Children

I have received a real gift in the past weeks - I have spent more time with children than I usually do.

We just finished our Vacation Bible School and I was able to do my favorite part of the VBS - lead the kids in games. Glenn was my partner in this and I have to say that it really takes me back to the beginning of my ministry and really why I came into work in the church.

When I was in my 20's and a young woman with three children I felt so gratified that the church would allow me to do youth ministry. Little did I know at the time how grateful churches are for people who really enjoy working with youth. I went to seminary in 1982 thinking I was going to work with children and youth primarily. And once I became a solo pastor in 1990 my youth work became more and more infrequent until now when I rarely get to be with kids.

Anyway, leading games at vacation Bible school is something that I really loved last week. It is so much fun to watch kids having fun. And we did some very funny games - like a relay race carrying teddy bears on a towel (like a stretcher) that had me laughing nonstop. And the kids at times were not only laughing but squealing. It was crazy and what I need. I actually for the most part was able to tie these silly games into Bible story truths - but really, who cares? There is a lot to be said for pure fun.

Chuck and I took Addie and Jackson to Cincinnati this week for a little mini vacation. We went to the children's museum there and I got to watch them running, playing, laughing, whispering, and dreaming together. Later we went to a hotel in Covington Kentucky (Jackson's favorite state - Kentucky) where they had an indoor swimming pool that we had to ourselves. And again watching them play together and being with them is a joy that is beyond expression.

In our spiritual walk we are to come like chidren and somehow I remember what that means when I am with children. It is not about innocence exactly - but a state of wonder and playfulness that it is easy for us to lose as we become "adults".

It is the blessing of my life to have work and family that brings me into contact with children. I think I need more of this.

God is good, all the time.

Courage, Cooperation and Perseverance.

These three words were emphasized today at the Freedom Center, the Underground Reilroad Museum in Cincinnati. There was so much information that it was overwhelming. We learned about the horror of the middle passage as slaves were brought to this country from Africa. We learned about the cruelty of a system that bought and sold individuals. We saw the cabin from Kentucky in which slaves were collected and housed until they took the 700 plus miles walking barefoot to Mississippi. we learned about the resistance of slaves, the plantation life, the political backgrounds. It was so much and so interesting. We saw several films and
read documents and listened on the IPad to narration. It was a lot.

But I am left with these words for social justice work - courage, cooperation and perseverence. It was what the slaves needed to survive and to resist slavery. It was what the abolitionists needed for their brave words and work in the underground railroad. It was what guided the politicians who worked to finally come together to pass the Emancipation Proclamation.

I saw these three words guiding the activity of the GLAD organization (Gay and Lesbian Affirming Disciples) during our General Assembly. The resolution which welcomes all people regardless of sexual orientation to the church was a major victory which was years in coming. Two years ago I went to the GLAD banquet and heard Mel White wonder how long we were going to discern about this issue. It had been 10 years. And so, Derek Penwell wrote the resolution and worked with others to vet it. It went through a long process through which it went before our Regional ministers and the General Board and finally it was brought before the whole assembly for a vote. There was talk about how this was going to split the church and supposedly some churches may be leaving the denomination over it. And so, all of this has required courage, cooperation and perseverance.

Tuesday afternoon wwe voted on the resolution. As I sat in the convention hall in Orlando, wearing my "All means All" T shirt and waiting for the vote I was almost overwhelmed with emotion. I sat beside Scott, Audrey's wonderful mentor and friend and Marsha, who has been a faithful friend to me from the beginning of the time Audrey came out. We sat behind Audrey and Miranda and Miranda's mother Linda. Actually we were all wearing "All means All" T shirts. I was so blessed to be present there and part of it -and being with Audrey who had her own part in the genesis of this resolution, and hearing Miranda speak to it in front of the 3000 plus delagats. The waiting was almost over and there was going to finally be some resolution about the resolution.

And when the vote was announced we were not allowed to clap. So we hugged and laughed and cried. A lot of tears. Because the courage, the cooperation, and the perseverance had brought us to a greater place of openness.

I know that this resolution - when it is all said and done - is really just a small step in the journey to becoming a place of welcome for all people. It does not guarantee ordination for LGBTI folks and it certainly does not mean that churches will want to hire gays and lesbians as pastors. But it is an important statement of justice within our denomination. We cannot care about social justice for the world if we are not attending to it within the Disciples of Christ.

This has been a time of realizing how important it is for Christians to stand with the marginalized and speak love and justice for all people. I realized it last week both in the matter of the resolution and in standing in solidarity with the NAACP (their convention was also in Orlando) after the verdict was announced to the Trayvon Martin trial. We have to care about everyone. But it is not enough for me to pray.
At the museum today I learned again - that social justice requires many people working together - cooperation, a willingness to speak truths that others may not be comfortable with - courage and the awareness that the journey is neverending - Perseverance.

Amen