Home Again

I returned yesterday from our annual cruise to the Caribbean. And as it always is - it was a time of rest and relaxation. A wonderful gift for me and Chuck to be together, with friends in beautiful surroundings.

What was different this year for me was that the cruise was preceded by a clergy conference on social justice issues. i was there as part of our BREAD organization here in Columbus. I blogged a bit about it and it really inspired me and prepared me for further involvement personally with Bread and a greater openness to the ways in which God always calls the church to be a voice for the voiceless and to work for justice for all people. Our church - like most churches - is really good with "mercy" - which is to say - compassionate care for individuals. We know how to be the Good Samaritan (caring for people in the moment of need) but God also wants us to "do something about the Jericho Road" which is a dangerous place. And that we cannot do by ourselves and the solutions take time. So, a challenge - a real challenge for all of us. Anyway, it was interesting this year to have these ideas as preliminary to the luxury of a cruise.

I also read some really interesting books in the past two weeks - "Season of Wonder" and "Bel Canto" by Anne Patchett (novels) and "The Blue Sweater" by Jacqueline Novogratz. (memoir) They were set in third world countries and all dealt with the complexity of this world - our racism, classism, injustice, etc. So, this week as my body was being well fed! - so too was my mind and soul.

Which brings me to this Sunday morning and as I prepare for this day and this week. We begin Lent on Wednesday with our Ash Wednesday service and I pray that this season will be a time of deepening spirituality for the whole church and real growth.
One of the gifts of a week away, was time for reading, writing and contemplation.
This morning in prayer I sat in the "both and" of this Christian walk.

Richard Rohr has written that "contemplation is the most radical form of self-abandonment that I can imagine. It is most difficult if there is not a profound truth that there is Someone to whom I can be abandoned! Such self forgetfullness paradoxically leads one to a firm and somewhat fearless sense of responsibility, Now i can risk resp[responsibility precisely because I know the buck does not stop here. There is co-creation going on, a life giving synergism that is found somewhere between surrender and personal responsibility. God is fully "cooperating with those who love God."

This is part of my prayer this morning.

"Lord, what I know is that I want peace and comfort.
I also want to serve you and have a life of meaning and purpose.
And these two desires are in tension with one another.\

Serving you means being willing to walk with others through the valley of the shadow of death.
Serving you means being awake and aware of the suffering of others
Serving you means recognizing my own gifts and call
Serving you means being willing to stand against injustice and evil

And so I sit here in prayer because i need you and I need to experience your love, your forgiveness and your healing

And I sit here because I need your call upon my life that moves me out of comfort
Into service and humility and discomfort and love
May I serve you today
Amen

notes from the DART conference

I write this from Orlando Florida where I am attending a clergy conference which is titled "who is our master?". The major message is that we cannot serve two masters or two God 's. Who are we going to serve- the god of the 'market or our the God of Abraham?

It has truly been a thought provoking message for me. I am here with thenBREAD organization but one of about 80 clergy fro around the country who are involved in social justice organizations like BREAD.

What I am understanding is the organization and working together is the key to any kind of success in this work...it is not enough to just preach about it or even study it....we need to have people within our church who are willing to work with other churches and religious organizations in order to speak to the "powers that be" with any kind of power ourselves.

This conference for me is a time of learning and inspiration, I am about to go into a small group breakout session on education so that I can learn and grow and then respond.

More later

I Am

This is the title of a documentary I watched Saturday evening. I had first heard about this watching Oprah - a documentary by a successful and very rich movie director, Tom Shadyac. He had an accident and had post concussive symptoms that were truly life changing - making him face his own death. He found himself asking the big questions: what is wrong with the world and what can we do to change it?

The title of the documentary - quotes GK Chesterton whose answer to "what's wrong with the world was "I am." And that is certainly what I cam away with grappling with. He says that this is a documentary about mental illness and eventually what is revealed is the mental illness of our culture - that says we need more than we do. I am not going to go into the documentaries many ideas except to recommend it.

What was particularly interesting to me on Saturday was that I was watching it after I had spent time at the mall - something I rarely do - but I had a Macy's gift card and I wanted to buy myself some tops to wear for the upcoming conference and cruise. Shopping for me is often anything but fun. I have described shopping as a lot of ways to be wrong. Which means that I often feel almost disoriented when I find myself in a department store. i don't know what department to shop in - I know I am not a junior, am I a woman, do I want sportswear, casual clothes, name brand.
I have bought clothes and been told they were too old for me and others that were too young?

Another problem I have - and it is a big one - is that styles do change I just don;t know what works for me. So, I am always looking to buy something that looks like something I already have. In fact, when I returned home with my purchases Chuck said - "they look like you" guilty as charged

I also don't get a thrill from buying things - in fact, I can go into "buyer's remorse" as I am writing the check (yes, I still write checks!) at the cash register.

So then I go home from this chore of shopping and watch a documentary that reminds me that this is nothing that feeds my soul. And it only brings out my insecurities and makes me a little crazy.

What is wrong with the world - I am - when I am accumulating beyond my needs. Give me a good book, give me a walk in the woods, give me words with friends

But no more shopping. For a while.

This is not exactly a spiritual offering today - but confession is good for the soul.
Lord, have mercy on me.
Amen

Ministry
I have days in my life when I can only say thank you, Lord.

Part of my role is to facilitate the ministry of others. When I began I think I saw myself as the minister and the people were paying for me to do ministry. Now I recognize that we are all on this journey together and that we are all called to this amazing life of love and service to one another.

So yesterday was a wonderful day in so many ways. Because I was doing ministry and watching ministry here at Karl Road.
I meet every Thursday with Kumba, who is a single mother from Sierra Leone who I am mentoring in ministry. She has started a program here on Thursday evenings of mentoring children and yesterday we met for the 4th time. More about that later.

When she and I meet we talk alot about life and relationships as I hear about how she is someone that people are drawn to and she prays for them. She is bringing people into our church - usually single mothers with many children and it is already changing our Sunday worship experience. It is exciting and challenging at the same time.

We had a healing team meeting yesterday afternoon - a time of prayer and sharing.
It is so nice to have an hour of just being open to God's spirit and being able to share with others our need of healing. Here is the wonderful prayer that I shared yesterday -


A Prayer for Healing - Joyce Rupp

Healing God,
Come to my hidden corners,
Open the doors to my soul rooms
That are tightly locked

Awaken in me,
Bring to life all my deadness.
Enthuse the depressed emotions.
Reenergize my inner weariness.
Bathe the grime of my ego-centeredness.
Clarify my confusions.
Fire my neglected love.
Brush off my dusty dreams.
Nurture my spiritual hungers.
Ease my sore relationships.
Deepen my sense of self-esteem.
Stir up my connection with the world.

Tenderly gather in your arms
All that still needs healing,
All that remains wounded and wanting.
May I grow each day into greater wholeness
With a stronger, purer inner freedom.


As I left the church that day, I glanced into Nicki's office (christian ed) and saw her helping Mrs. Torres work on her resume. While I went home to rest the foundations kids came and filled the church for their tutoring.

Then I came back with Chuck at 6 for our mentoring program. Last week we had 12 kids and I took the youngest three into the nursery and watched them. This week we had 24. Kumba keeps bringing more people. They all came late - which is part of our challenge in bringing different cultures together. Janet and Jean Marie prepared sandwiches for the kids and Chuck made french fries. Four of the kids who came were muslim so we left the ham out of their sandwiches. Then we divided up - this time I had 6 kids in the nursery and the muslim mom. At one point she left to pray and her 1 year old started crying and several of us tried to comfort her. As I sat there kids were playing with the kitchen and bringing me "food" to eat. It all took me back. Later I talked with the mom who came here 4 years ago from Somalia to join her husband. She brought her child and has had two more since. Her husband has now left her for another woman.

At the end of the program I got all the kids and adults into a circle and we sang - "If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands" And it was fun.

Then one of the boys threw his hat up and it was caught in the sconce(?) so that Chuck had to get a ladder and retrieve it. Watching him joke with these little boys was just so endearing to me. He was the only man present that night and I thought how important it is to have a man around for these kids and moms.

It was a good day.....a day of ministry

Blessings at Bible Study

I am home from Bible study and feel better than I did all day. There must be something healing about this time that we spend together.

We always start it with each person sharing a blessing. And Kerry had a great one and gave me permission to share.

She went to Cincinnati to be with her family and she planned to actually skip church on Sunday because she didn't want to push her family and make them feel like they had to go to church. Especially her younger sister, Billie, was resistant to the whole church thing.

Which was why it was so surprising that Billie asked her where they were going to go to church on Sunday. So Kerry thought - yes - they were going! Her sister complained about having to dress up for church - and Kerry said - they could wear blue jeans and find a church where people were pearing blue jeans. Her sister also said that she wanted to go for the music and not for the preaching...so when the music was over - she wanted to leave. The family got into a bit of discussion about this, but Kerry told everyone to leave her alone and it was enough that she would be going to church with them.

So....Sunday morning came and they wore their blue jeans and found a church that people were going into wearing blue jeans. And they had great praise music for about an hour. And Kerry and her sister loved it! Kerry looked over and saw her wiping a tear from her eye. She was touched.

And then - the minister said that her husband was sick and she was not going to preach and that surely they felt the spirit at work in the music this morning.

So....it was perfect
a church where she could wear blue jeans
and hear great music
and no preaching
God is good, all the time.

That is what we say every Sunday evening and we certainly said it tonight as we heard Kerry relay this blessing in her life.

S

Prayer on the Phone

I pray on the phone more now than ever.

This morning I prayed with three people on the phone.
The first was Addie, my granddaughter. Marnie called to talk to check up on me
(I have a bad cold again!) and then said that Addie was home sick. And would I pray with her. Which I did and afterward prompted the Amen from her. It was very sweet.

And then a woman I didn't know called the church seeking prayer. I talked to her for quite a while about her situation - 5 children, no job, no food, waiting for an appointment with social security, her father died three weeks ago. It was very hard and sad. I asked where she lived and it was near Eastland. So, I offered food to her, but she had no transportation to come this far. And encouraged her to find a church because "life is too hard to not have help." (that is me quoting myself - something I usually say to people who call our church for financial help - if only they knew how much a church will help people who are part of the community!)
Anyway, we also had a prayer as I prayed for strength and guidance for her.

And then I just got off the phone with Muriel who called from Detroit. Her sister just passed away this morning and she was up visiting her every day and knowing that the end was near. We too talked about how she was feeling and then I prayed a prayer of gratitude and blessing on Muriel and her sister and her whole family during this time.

I never knew when I started out in ministry just how important prayer is. It is a lifeline when you are feeling alone and a source of healing and power for all of us.
And it really doesn't matter whether you are in person or on the phone - it really helps to know that someone cares about you and is praying with and for you.

So, if you are reading this I do request prayers for this cold. You don't have to call - just pray! I am tired of being tired and coughing.
Amen

Speak for your Servant is Listening

Speak for your Servant is Listening

This is a quote from the text on which I am preaching Sunday. 1 Samual 3: 1-20.

It is always interesting to me (actually more than interesting - awesome) the serendipity of timing. Tomorrow I will be leading a workshop on listening. I planned for this two months ago and did not know that Sunday I was also preaching a sermon on how we are called to listen for God.

So, my week is a week of pondering the whole understanding that listening is a key to everything. It is certainly the key to relationships. I keep learning that most of us are hungry to be listened to. I know I am. At the same time I am always on the alert for the fact that most people do not really listen. One of the quotes from the workshop tomorrow is
"Listening si so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we really are."

It is very hard not to be listened to in those relationships that we count on for understanding. When we are not listened to - we get shut up in the solitude of our own hearts and in the sometimes craziness of our own minds.

What I know is that so many people are lonely - and we are lonely in the midst of living with lots of people. The loneliness comes because we so often do not feel heard by another person.

I feel blessed because I have a spiritual director, friends, daughters and two groups that serve to be places where I can be heard and known. And I know that many people do not have any of these.

And then there is my relationship with God. But I also know that I have the potential to live compulsively so that I think I am listening, but I am actually too distracted and supposedly busy - to really listen for God's voice or look for God's presence.

So, as I start to write this sermon I recognize that it is very easy to SAY - speak, for your servant is listening. It is a lot harder to do it.